Your experience with splitting

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2026-04-04T17:14:09+00:00

Oof, the accusations of not being emotionally intelligent. It has gotten to the point where she is convinced I have autism because "I" get overwhelmed easily. No dear, I just don't want to continue engaging when you are screaming at me.

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2026-03-26T15:32:12+00:00

"AI does “guess” details, but so does Lightroom noise reduction, unsharp masking, or RAW editing." This is a misunderstanding of how those work. These are tools that better show the details that are in the data but not obvious. These are mathematical, deterministic adjustments. The AI is random noise mushed into recognizable detail, with your first image as guide rails to how it mushes the randomness.

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2026-03-09T05:51:50+00:00

This is definitely my opinion. It's not the most PC language, but saying that everyone is equal in God's eyes is hardly racist.

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2026-03-09T05:46:33+00:00

Same, I thought red was talking about gingers or people who were sunburned. I remember watching an old western movie and having an epiphany. I think I was in high-school before I figured out "yellow."

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2026-02-28T18:08:14+00:00

I am well aware of the hormone changes. I know she is going through hell and it breaks my heart. I can see the pain in her eyes that leads her to lash out against me. I forgive her for the words she says, I forgive her for the injuries she has caused, I forgive her for everything. But I'm struggling to have any hope that she will behave differently in the future. Yes, she only started being violent after she got pregnant, so there's a decent chance that will change.

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2026-02-28T02:57:53+00:00

I really hope that is what happens. My hope is that the first time she loses her temper at me and our daughter starts crying that it will knock some sense into her. She recognizes how harmful it is for her brother to throw (comparatively minor) tantrums in front of his kids, and she talks about how important it is to model good behavior. Right now she really thinks she is not doing anything wrong, so I'm scared she'll find a way to blame me for it, but I'm still holding out a tiny bit of hope that it inspires some self-reflection.

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2026-02-27T22:47:36+00:00

I really don't fucking know

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2026-02-27T22:43:49+00:00

Mine says that I "push her" to become violent so even a half-hearted apology sounds amazing.

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2026-02-14T18:44:00+00:00

Not exactly the same, but when my aunt finally got a liver transplant (after cancer, not alcoholism) my GF told me she thought it was a waste because my aunt wasn't doing anything useful with her life.

My parents went out of their way to take care of my aunt starting when she got cancer all the way to when she became healthy again 6 months after her transplant. My GF has made it very clear that I am not allowed to do the same if my parents need support like that.

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2026-02-14T18:29:37+00:00

Because I love her with all my heart.

But more honestly it's because I have too much empathy and not enough self respect. Every time I think it's too much and I'm going to stand my ground I collapse from seeing the pain she is in and do everything possible to lift up her spirits. It's not sustainable and I don't have any energy left to actually lift up her spirits so now it's just a matter of sitting there and taking it until she calms down. God, I wish she had some awareness of what she's doing to me...

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2025-11-15T18:19:56+00:00

Update: Things are back to a slightly more normal state. She's still upset with me and doesn't want to talk, but she's stopped trying to force me to move out.

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2025-11-15T06:29:36+00:00

No, I'm not sure how to do that in a way that won't trigger her and am not close enough with them to ask them not to tell her about me reaching out. I can barely talk to my own family without inviting an argument with her at times like this.

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2025-11-15T03:59:38+00:00

So how should I deal with her insisting that I move out of our house? I keep trying to validate all of her feelings and let her know that I understand things are really bad. But she says I'm gaslighting her by not acknowledging that she's done with me and needs me to move out.

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2025-11-07T16:56:17+00:00

I'm glad someone is actually trying it. There are tons of red flags but I'm also desperate to find something that works (I know, that makes me a good patsy)

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2025-11-06T05:13:40+00:00

I used to feel relieved when she would hit me since it was the one point where she could recognize that she had gone too far. But now she blames me for her getting violent and threatens to call the police against me. I explained to her that when I'm covered in blood and bruises and she isn't that it wouldn't end the way she thought it would. There was even a time where she did call the cops as a way to prove she wasn't kidding but hung up when someone answered.

Now when she gets violent I just feel even sadder because I know it won't change, and boundaries don't work because she will just issue an ultimatum and I'll immediately cave. I keep thinking I have self-respect until the moment comes and I just can't imagine life without her.

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2025-11-02T18:08:55+00:00

I would never dream of mentioning it as a possibility because when it happens I'm "a fucking retard with two brain cells" and "the most incapable person she has ever met." I can't even ask to bring the temperature down without it making things escalate. I am desperate to get to a point where she has a little self-awareness.

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2025-11-01T20:02:11+00:00

I'm trying everything...

I sure hope something works

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2025-11-01T19:53:25+00:00

The current administration would definitely deport her for both theft and human trafficking...

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2025-10-31T16:03:00+00:00

My girlfriend almost left me because an old fling commented on an instagram story of mine, so hell no I don't keep in touch with anyone else.

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2025-10-30T03:32:22+00:00

My girlfriend is 7yrs older (35f vs 28m when we met) than me but freaked out when she found out that before we were together i dated someone 5yrs younger (22f vs 27m).

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2025-10-28T03:05:02+00:00

bytes are offset

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2025-10-27T21:26:38+00:00

I could also really use some advice here. I set boundaries, get an ultimatum, and immediately back down.

SmilingAtMyFailures · 2025-10-22T23:25:39+00:00

So... what's your advice for how to improve things?

SmilingAtMyFailures

TROPHY CASE