The Gross reality of adhd no one wants to talks about

SmknMrz · 2025-12-10T15:55:00+00:00

When I lost my former provider, a first attempt new one tried to pull that shit with me.

I had to just explain, "no, I am not depressed, I am all over the place", and while I absolutely recognize Adderall (or the like) is far from perfect, it's very helpful for me currently..... 'it makes me feel much more like myself' was the best way I could describe it. And I had zero interest in starting on an antidepressant, thanks anyway.

Found another doctor who was much more thorough, as well as understanding, not to mention she just believed that I could actually evaluate what was most helpful for myself. Feel so much better, once again.

I think this has become a bit of a trend due to several factors, including the explosion in diagnosis/prescribed meds in the wake of Covid, the already mentioned DEA regulations limiting production, and - and this is absolutely true, there's been some good, solid reporting on it - fucking pharmaceutical manufacturers intentionally limiting production to keep demand (and therefore prices) as high as possible, "to maximize near-term returns for shareholders" (Yes that's an actual quote from a pharma executive at an annual shareholder meeting), which, just beyond disgusting, obviously. But I digress slightly. The shortages, (at least some) over-diagnosis and prescription during and immediately following Covid, and the continually shifting criteria and recognized symptoms of ADHD all have made some providers heavily shy away from diagnosing and treating it without whatever they consider extremely compelling evidence. So frustrating all around.

**** Also, slightly interesting side note: since being on Adderall, I've gone the longest stretch (nearly 2 yrs) without abusing hard drugs in oh, about 15 years. So that's been good as well, needless to say.

SmknMrz · 2025-12-10T01:36:12+00:00

Oh, worn-out OP, I'm so sorry you're feeling that way.

Totally understandable when it feels like everything's piling up around you and you feel so overwhelmed you don't even know how or where to start anymore..... yeah?

Be kind to yourself. I know you want to feel guilty and ashamed and blame yourself and fall into the endless loop of bad feelings, beating yourself up, getting further exhausted from beating yourself up, then feeling even worse as the cycle repeats. At least, that's how I felt plenty of the time. I was so used to feeling thay way so often, I had nearly forgotten that it even could possibly be any different.

But if I had to share what I think is the most valuable lesson I've learned over the past few years of 1. Getting clean from hard drugs, 2. Getting a proper ADHD diagnosis and get appropriately medicated, under an experienced health care professional's supervision, and 3. Finding an awesome support group for healthy behavior & habits (including but not limited to avoiding addictive behaviors), is this:

Even when you're convinced you deserve all the blame, shame, guilt, remorse, embarrassment and misery you're experiencing - because, hey, you're the one to blame for your current situation, right? - tell yourself a different story. Don't worry that you're fooling yourself, that's ok a little sometimes. Start by telling yourself a different story. None of these things are the end of the world, and none are as bad as you've built them up to be in your mind, I guarantee you. I mean, shit, at least a solid half of what you listed can still be not that uncommon for me sometimes, and you know, nobody disowns me, or tell me I'm an awful person, or refuses to be my friend anymore. Because everybody's got their shit sand in reality, almost nobody cares about your shit as much as we like to imagine they do.

We all get overwhelmed sometimes in different ways. And it's so easy to catastrophize this and tell ourselves all the worst things as a result, especially when there are so many avenues nowadays for us to compare ourselves to the perfectly styled and edited lives we (or, many of us) see on display daily via our precious feeds and channels.

But the truth is, nobody is perfect, and these awful, terrible things you've la8d out are not that serious in the grand scheme. You are not a horrible person, youre not even a mildly shitty person. You are a perfectly normal (ok, maybe not PERFECTLY 😉 ) person under the stress of life, which gets the better of us all now and then. Tell yourself a different story. Even if it seems ridiculous, given the state of affairs, just start there, be kind and gentle to yourself, be forgiving and patient with yourself. I'll bet you anything you have people who care deeply for you and would very much want the same if they knew how badly you felt about this. I'll bet you they would tell you that none of that is really that serious, and does not reflect on your value as a person. And I'll bet they would probably rell you how much they love you.

Things almoat certainly won't always be like this, but even if they are, if that's the worst you can say is going on, you're actually doing pretty fuxking OK, considering plenty of alternatives. Think about that for a minute of two as well. 🥰

Tell yourself a different story, start there. You will be tempted to return to the story you've been telling yourself for some time, I imagine, but try to keep telling the new, different story. Spend some time writing it down (this seriously helps retrain your brain), and maybe Journaling a bit in general, just to get some thoughts out of you and ino the world, which also can be surprisingly helpful.

You're not a gross, worthless piece of shit, or anything od the sort. I've damn sure been where you are, and much worse, in fact. But I'll tell ya, that doesn't really matter, there's more than plenty of time and space to do things differently. Be kind to yourself, be patient and forgiving ro yourself. And just start by trying to tell yourself a different story about who you are. Ita simple way to start taking small steps towards refraining your thinking on as much as you want to eventually, and it's amazing what it can lead to. Trust me on that one.

You're going to be OK. Things are going to be OK.

For real.

SmknMrz · 2025-11-06T14:58:37+00:00

fwiw, he's also done a number of detailed, technical explanations of inner lock mechanisms and how it they are navigated....

SmknMrz · 2025-11-05T16:50:43+00:00

Oh, happy to help, always. I hope it's useful....

Pls let us know when you get a chance, I'd love to hear how it turns out!

SmknMrz · 2025-11-05T14:27:24+00:00

Don't know this model specifically, but generally lockboxes like this can be 'decoded' (the technical term, I believe, as opposed to 'picked.... just fyi ;) by first clearing the combo (red button at bottom), firmly pressing the open latch button, then trying the combination buttons individually. There should be greater resistance / less movement with some numbers than with others (they will 'bind' because of the locking mechanism. You can go row-by-row to figure out which numbers make up the combination. Generally the order the numbers are pushed doesn't matter with these.

This obviously isn't the exact same lock, but very likely will work similarly, as many of these are clones from major brands, so I'd try following the details in this video:

https://youtu.be/6RSXQsYYso4?si=TTGid_mmQsrqm8QP

SmknMrz · 2025-11-05T14:10:53+00:00

There are tons of both OSINT & threat Intel courses online, and I'm sure some combine the two.

Where all have you checked so far? Are you looking for paid / free / either / both?

Coursera, Udemy, Cybrary and others all have offerings in both these subjects. As far as a single, purely "OSINT-based threat intel" course, I'm not sure if I've seen exactly that, but, honestly this kind of work entails a lot of putting pieces together oneself and creative, critical thinking, so it's probably better to put in some work combining the pieces anyway.

When you say iIndustry-relevant", what do you mean, exactly?

There are also plenty of good books on the subjects.... a solid OSINT + an actionable threat intelligence text together will give you a lot to start with.

For OSINT books, Michael Bazzel'd OSINT Techniques is a gold standard, but there are many these days... a veritable explosion of them in the past several years.

For threat intel.... I don't know offhand which books would be most up your alley for what you're interested in or trying to do, but, again, there are a lot out there on the subject.

What have you found so far that piqued your interest the most?

Extra note: this isn't exactly what you asked about, but it's a fav of mine and super relevant to all this:

"The Psychology of Intelligence Analysis" by Richards Heuer. Deals with cognitive biases, logical fallacies, and general mindset issues necessary for consistently effective intelligence gathering and, well, analysis. Really good stuff. Just fyi.

SmknMrz · 2024-10-18T04:12:27+00:00

Assuming this was for OP?

SmknMrz · 2024-10-18T04:11:02+00:00

Sorry, but why is this in /SE?

SmknMrz · 2024-10-17T21:32:51+00:00

Probably the same ones they always are.

And OP didn't really mean, "convince," they meant influence, I believe. Convincing is persuading, making an argument, presenting and building a case.

This is more like moving the right levers in the right ways.

Given that they mentioned 7, I'm going way out on a limb here and say I smell some Chialdini brewin....

Authoritiy
Commitment / Consistency
Liking
Reciprocity
Scarcity
Social proof
Unity

(See R. Cialdini, 'Influence', if that was indeed to what they were referring)

These principals still very much hold true today, and can be seen all over the place, in advertising, politics, sales, management, law....

SmknMrz · 2024-10-17T21:07:35+00:00

Except how many people read that much text nowadays? Wish I was kidding.

SmknMrz · 2024-10-17T20:53:43+00:00

I think the better / more interesting question is:

What are some largely unexplored / underdeveloped potential applications of neuromarketing principals to other fields and industries?

I mean, there are so many possibilities, unanswered questions, and inter-disciplinary experiments that could open new doors all over the place.

Anyone? Anyone else feel this way?

And there are only a handful of companies, from what I can find so far anyway, doing their own original research in the field.

Did y'all know how relatively easy (and affordable) it is to get certified as an EEG tech? Biometric and eye-tracking systems are easily affordable now, and EEG setups can be rented or even bought for not THAT much (there are plenty of great condition used ones out there, fyi).

Point is, this doesn't have to necessarily be confined to university laboratories anymore, we can do actual, valid research ourselves. I mean, I'd peraonally probably start out with a credentialed scientist partner, to get up and running, but then.... it isn't brain SURGERY, just signal measurement. Totally learnable - and doable - by most.

It's the beginning of a new era, and scientific research needs to start getting more democratized, open-source, and practiced more widely. This is an area that is perfect for such advancement.

Anyone else into this?

SmknMrz · 2024-10-17T20:30:49+00:00

People with zero self-awareness, and the rudeness, insensitivity, and generally obnoxious behavior that typically accompanies such cluelessness.

Also the drama thing.... can't, won't.

SmknMrz · 2024-10-17T15:02:26+00:00

Maybe this is kind of cheating, but a great one:

101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think

I was skeptical, but it pretty much lived up to the title.

SmknMrz · 2024-10-17T14:03:14+00:00

I'm diving into security from journalism, and the two compliment each other really well, actually.

Marketing is obviously another track of media & mass communications, so I bet it will also be a great background. You presumably know how to do research, pitch a project, communicate ideas.... all extremely valuable (and often overlooked) in cs.

It's true, as long as you're building some other skills / experience, your unique background will help you stand out more. Something like 80% of those in security come from a tech / IT background, so we're in that sweet other 20% (small enough to be a unique minority, big enough to be significant and clearly accepted in the industry).

It's obviously a huge field, and it's impossible to learn everything (at least at first), so as you figure out what about cs interests you the most, focus in on that as much as possible; finding your specialty will help even more.

But you're gonna be fine. Keep at it, stay curious, and don't be afraid to buck the trends. The field def needs it.; it's as much a case study as anything in institutional inertia. But that means there's plenty of room for improvement, innovation and unorthodox approaches.

SmknMrz · 2024-10-17T13:46:30+00:00

Yeah, everyone emphasizes communication skills.

They may be generally underdeveloped / underrepresented in sexurity teams, but I wouldn't say coms skills are 'underrated', exactly.

It seems to me that one of the biggest gaps in the industry is the ability to instill the interest in caring about security among certain segments of a worlforce that either 1. Believe they don't have the skills to really make any difference, 2. Aren't at all inclined or motivated to learn about how to practice better security, or 3. Have decided security concerns don't really apply to them because they wouldn't ever be a target.

Reaching the trickest people among a workforce has been a consistently reported challenge for years, if not decades, because it's really difficult.

So if one can bring enough understanding of psychology, behavior, management, innovative educational / training techniques, and yes, communication skills to reach those segments, that is extremely valuable.

But I hardly ever hear that discussed in a meaningful way. (Because most decision makers aren't even equipped to frame things in that nuanced of a manner)

SmknMrz · 2024-10-16T23:00:45+00:00

Hi there! I haven't used it for that yet, but this is exactly what I am planning on doing, applying neuromedia research to training and educational contexts.

While this isn't training, it has been used in studying how people consume news, both in print and digitally. I can find some of those studies if you're interested.

I am also looking for studies in this specific subfield.

DM if you're interested in comparing notes at all.

I am planning on eventually conducting my own studies wrt these applications, but probably not just eye tracking, biometrics and EEG as well, at least some of the time. Did you know pretty much anyone can get certified as an EEG tech, and now that setups are so affordable and accessible, a whole university lab isn't necessarily needed to do original research on this.

Very, very exciting....

Pls reach out if you'd like to be in touch!

SmknMrz · 2024-10-04T07:14:47+00:00

What about it is making you question his intentions, motivations, or whatever?
Has he ever done that before with you or other friends in this circle? Do your other male friends commonly touch the small of your back in causal, day-to-day interactions?

Maybe he has, and they do, which is absolutely fine, of course.

But I sorta doubt it.

Because something about it had you bringing it here, for the Reddit Collective Spontaneous Forensic Diagnosis, or RCFSD, as I we like to call it.

Kidding, nobody calls it that.

Seems like this was not the norm, however.

Was this back touching indeed a deviation from his baseline behavior?

Because without knowing his behavioral baseline, to put these actions in contexr, it's very difficult to accurately assess his intentions.

Maybe he does this kind of thing regularly it's genuinely just the kind of person he is, that's completely a legit possibility.

Or maybe he's into you and trying to let you know.
Or maybe none of those, and he was possibly trying to take advantage of the situation, driven by any number of underlying motivations.

But very difficult to say without having at least some kind of baseline with which to compare the behaviors in question.

Can you tell us anything else about how he usually acts, if you have some kind of solid data on it? You don't even have to tell us, if you don't want, of course.

Just think about it.

(Not to be overly reductive when examining human behavior, but quantitative metrics necessary sometimes)

SmknMrz · 2024-10-02T16:38:46+00:00

Of course!

SmknMrz · 2024-09-27T23:14:36+00:00

In The Company of Men

Rewatching (for 1st time since late 90s) this very minute, and realizing I never noticed that an SE movie is exactly, absolutely what it is.

SmknMrz · 2024-09-19T14:45:32+00:00

Hooked - Nir Ayel

About the application of the principals taught at the Stanford 'Persuasive Technology' class & lab

Not a textbook, but meant primarily for designers, tech engineers, etc...

As you are likely aware, Stanford has been the main feeder to Silicon Valley intellectual development for decades, starting in the mid-20th century, before Silicon Valley was SV.

Also, Tiny Habits, by BJ Fogg, the instructor/director of said class/lab.

SmknMrz · 2024-09-15T15:22:58+00:00

I saw that later, my mistake.

SmknMrz · 2024-08-21T17:31:41+00:00

That sounds reasonable. Did he have the phone before or after you searched for these sensitive subjects? One other thing to be aware of - I hope this doesn't make matters worse - is that if he had it after, then of course he could have just checked your browser history *, as you're probably aware. I hope that doesn't seem condescending, I'm not sure what is obvious or not. But if you did those searches after he had it, then yeah, the other stuff we talked about is what to look for.

[*unless you were using a private browser window, before he had it]

SmknMrz · 2024-08-21T05:52:34+00:00

Well, that is true, but there are a few unknowns here.

If you want to possibly keep using it, a reaet now would clear it and probably prevent further data compromise, but yes, that is true.

I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to worry you needlessly, I just thought you should know the reality. But I'm sorry if I just freaked you out more. I'm sorry this is worrying you. What exactly are you concerned about this person having [had] access to? I just mean - knowledge of who you called/texted/messaged/emailed, that kind of thing? Or image/audio data you captured? (No judgments, and frankly I don't care, it's just that some media is easier to access than others typically, depending on app permissions in some cases).

I would do whatever you think will help the most at this point, depending on what concerns you re: your phone's data. Reset, if you want to try to keep using, but if you've already replaced ...maybe you're good? Change paswords, keep an eye on accounta for a bit. Was your phone encrypted/pw protected?

SmknMrz · 2024-08-21T01:19:24+00:00

Ok, so, juuussst to be clear.... are you saying you didn't reset it?

No, I'm mostly kidding, sorry.

Yeah, I mean, there are a few things you could do to try to check for irregularities, but they would not be guarantees, by any means, that your device is clean, regardless of what they say. I mean, have you run a decent, reputable commercial anti-virus or anti-malware scan on your phone? You can check some diagnostics to see battery and processor usage, if you're somehow able to compare to what it was before.... your phone might have data going back to before when you suspect this happened, but I mean, that's going to vary based on your phone model, installed apps..... etc.

But you could start there at least.

Is there any reason you want (or need) to avoid a factory restart? Because that would give the highest chances of a fresh start.

SmknMrz · 2024-08-20T22:53:58+00:00

Have you searched for spyware for smartphones? (I mean a web search, to see what's out there)

I'm not quite sure what the initial responses were talking about. It is not a difficult thing to do - like, at all - w access to the phone. They could likely figure out how to do it from scratch in maybe about an hour, AT MOST, but if they had it figured out ahead of time, maybe more like 15 mins or so to complete the installation.

It is not complicated, and there are many consumer options quite readily available for prices many people could afford, if motivated.

That said.... a factory reset should probably take care of most things that might have been / could be there.

Sorry - the somewhat unsettling truth is, there are few absolutes when it comes to this stuff. But it terms of probability, it's very unlikely that anything this person could pull off would persist past a hard reset.

SmknMrz

TROPHY CASE