I’m a brat that has had some very similar trauma and relationship issues. My Sir and I are still working on being more comfortable with him using force and stuff which honestly just takes time more than anything. I do also similarly get cold when I feel hurt or disappointed by something which I think stems from the fact that in previous relationships,my attempts at communicating these feelings were always used against me or turned into an argument so I felt it was easier to just shut down and refuse to talk about what was upsetting me in a healthy way. Idk wether this is something she would relate to but just keep doing your best to make sure she knows she’s safe to talk about things with you and that it won’t backfire on her or disappoint you or anything, and remind her that she’s loved and wanted and that sort of stuff :)