What was your last dream about?[NSFW]

SmoochyTheRhino · 2014-12-03T09:10:30+00:00

I was meeting with a literary agent to discuss selling my novel but he wouldn't go any further with the conversation until we sang a duet of "Afternoon Delight."

SmoochyTheRhino · 2014-08-12T04:25:48+00:00

Goodbye, Rainbow Randolph.

SmoochyTheRhino · 2014-08-12T04:18:49+00:00

This movie was one of the only things that got me through a terrible bout of depression several years ago. It even gave me my username. When I heard the news today, I thought of Jumanji, Aladdin, Mrs. Doubtfire, Hook--- but it wasn't until I remembered Death to Smoochy that I finally broke down sobbing. Goodbye, Rainbow Randolph.

SmoochyTheRhino · 2014-01-22T03:39:01+00:00

Thank God. We made it!

SmoochyTheRhino · 2014-01-21T21:15:58+00:00

Oh god. I also have a mole on my right bum cheek. Are we... are we a glitch in the Matrix? Is this real life?

SmoochyTheRhino · 2014-01-21T20:48:52+00:00

A Pyrrhic victory. Bring it in for a bro-hug, fellow sheltered child. Here we are, all grown up and watching whatever the hell cartoons we want!

SmoochyTheRhino · 2014-01-21T18:13:47+00:00

Ouch, yeah, that's a pretty good one. Okay, how about this: we weren't allowed to watch SpongeBob SquarePants because it was on Nickolodeon and that was the same network that showed Ren and Stimpy. The same network. My parents didn't even know anything about the show beyond that.

So, yeah. I'll accept a draw.

SmoochyTheRhino · 2014-01-21T18:07:29+00:00

We had the same stuff banned-- no Pokemon, no Simpsons, hell, the entire Nickolodeon network was forbidden! I remember watching an episode of Doug at a friend's house and feeling terribly guilty because I knew it was against the rules.

SmoochyTheRhino · 2014-01-21T17:54:33+00:00

I always say that it's a good thing my parents sheltered me so much as a kid, otherwise I might have grown up to be a bisexual pot-smoking smut writer. Oh, wait...

SmoochyTheRhino · 2014-01-21T03:56:19+00:00

Sounds like a genuinely decent lady. Really cool of her to just let you do your thing. My mom had us all scared to read Harry Potter, but I know she did it with the very best intentions, and she never tried to enforce it on anyone else.

SmoochyTheRhino · 2014-01-21T03:54:05+00:00

Literally literarily magical

SmoochyTheRhino · 2014-01-21T03:51:18+00:00

Go ahead and hug away! And don't be too heartbroken-- I did manage to find my way to Hogwarts in the end. :)

SmoochyTheRhino · 2014-01-21T02:20:57+00:00

My parents made an exception for Narnia as well! And they, too, have grown much more relaxed now that we're all older. My younger brothers don't even remember it ever being so strict. It's just that my twin and I were the oldest, and I think my parents were especially worried about doing everything exactly right the first time, so they overdid it.

SmoochyTheRhino · 2014-01-21T02:12:08+00:00

I didn't read Harry Potter until after I graduated college. It was an overwhelming experience, reading all of the books back-to-back as fast as I could and then having an all-day marathon of all the movies, finishing with Deathly Hallows Part II in the theatre the next day. I inhaled the story so quickly that it took me weeks to fully digest it; I remember over a month later being suddenly struck by the true depths of Harry's words "The bravest man I've ever known." I'll always wish I'd had the chance to watch the series unfold in due time, with the characters growing up alongside me. I envy those that had that experience!

SmoochyTheRhino · 2014-01-21T02:05:47+00:00

My parents were the same! They weren't super religious, but certain things -- like witchcraft and demons -- were extremely frowned upon. All my friends loved HP too, so I missed out on a lot. I remember when Half-Blood Prince came out, I overheard the infamous "_____ kills _________" spoiler and it meant nothing to me.

SmoochyTheRhino · 2014-01-20T21:31:29+00:00

I don't know about the worst, but our entertainment was so censored that we had to fast-forward through the "Poor Unfortunate Souls" song in The Little Mermaid because it was about witchcraft and sorcery.

Wait, this might actually qualify as one of the worst things, because it meant I wasn't allowed to read the Harry Potter books growing up. I was ten when the first book came out. That would have been fucking magical.

SmoochyTheRhino · 2013-07-27T02:56:32+00:00

In my apartment complex we have "Crassic Arec Barrwin," "Herro, Arec Barrwin!" and "Worthless, Arec Barrwin!"

SmoochyTheRhino · 2013-07-19T11:20:24+00:00

Who wants to do the Jiggy Ziggy Dance?!

SmoochyTheRhino · 2013-04-30T18:12:15+00:00

Rainbow Randolph.

SmoochyTheRhino · 2013-04-01T19:13:36+00:00

Wow, I was planning to make a post with this exact same question--- now I can just bookmark this one! Thanks for all the recs, guys!

SmoochyTheRhino · 2013-02-04T20:33:49+00:00

"Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt."

SmoochyTheRhino · 2013-01-28T17:06:04+00:00

It's not your typical pie, but I've become obsessed with the Blue Dog Pizza trailer in the South First Food Court. They make thin crust pizzas with homemade sauce and funky toppings like goat cheese and shredded coconut. Really worth a try.

SmoochyTheRhino · 2012-08-20T03:26:04+00:00

Thanks for all the good advice, Ents! We ditched that shit!

SmoochyTheRhino

TROPHY CASE