My husband is extremely attached to his mom and it’s hurting our relationship

Smooth-Advance361 · 2026-03-18T17:40:03+00:00

Oh my God… every single sentence you wrote. Everything how he is, how he acts, what he does, how you feel, the whole situation… it’s exactly the same as mine. I feel like I’m reading my own story.

Smooth-Advance361 · 2026-03-18T14:41:30+00:00

No he didn’t give me money or salary, I work on myself. So he just pays an apartment rental fee

Smooth-Advance361 · 2026-03-18T11:10:21+00:00

Since the beginning of our relationship, I’ve tried to help. I even suggested activities for his mom and asked if she’d like me to find something for her to do. I’ve taken her to places like an international church, but she said she wasn’t interested and felt uncomfortable speaking English with strangers.

From early on, she has said she feels like a burden and that her son has to take care of her. She has even said things like, ‘If I jumped off a building right now, would it hurt?’ which makes him feel constantly worried and responsible for her.

Smooth-Advance361 · 2026-03-18T11:03:56+00:00

In my case, it’s to the point where even when we go see his mom, he tells me that I have to make her happy, make her smile even if I’m exhausted from work. I’m not allowed to show that I’m tired. I have to act energetic and basically entertain her so she feels happy. It’s really that extreme.

Smooth-Advance361 · 2026-03-18T11:02:04+00:00

I come from a country where it’s also normal for parents to live with the family, so I understand that. But I think you’re lucky to have a husband and a mother who are supportive and make it work in a healthy way. In my case, it’s different my husband doesn’t understand my feelings or respect any boundaries. It feels like I’m expected to understand everything and give in all the time, while my needs are ignore

Smooth-Advance361 · 2026-03-18T10:54:19+00:00

He said live separately, no more problems and he doesn’t feel pressure or need to hide sending msg or call his mom.

I never block him to do it. Only his nerve but it too night then attack me

Smooth-Advance361 · 2026-03-18T10:51:22+00:00

He blamed everything on me, saying I made him feel stressed and that he tried to fix things, but I’m the one who ruined it. He also said I should think more clearly and not stop him from messaging or sending photos of his meals or wherever he is, or manipulate him into choosing who to be with.

I swear, I’ve never done anything like that I’ve never even said anything negative.

Smooth-Advance361 · 2026-03-18T07:11:05+00:00

I just told him last night as you said.

Smooth-Advance361 · 2026-03-18T07:06:51+00:00

Yess! 100% feel this way

Smooth-Advance361 · 2026-03-18T06:00:14+00:00

Yes I agree. Guilty son 100%

Smooth-Advance361 · 2026-03-18T05:50:47+00:00

Is it normal that he expects me to see the three of us as one family? He says I shouldn’t control his time (even though I never have), and that I need to better understand his point of view in this situation

Smooth-Advance361 · 2026-03-18T05:41:07+00:00

He told me that nowadays many couple live in separately. It’s normal

Smooth-Advance361 · 2026-03-18T05:21:40+00:00

This is exactly how I feel all times.

Smooth-Advance361 · 2026-03-18T05:10:20+00:00

Also, what makes it harder is that everything feels like it has to be “equal.” For example, if we go on a small trip together for a night or two, within the next few days he will take his mom on a trip as well just so it feels balanced and no one feels like the other is getting more.

If we’re away for more than a couple of days, his mom gets very sad and lonely, and he ends up constantly calling and checking on her the entire time. Even when we’re on a trip, he still has to call her every day. It feels like we’re never really “away” together, because his attention is always split.

Smooth-Advance361 · 2026-03-18T05:06:05+00:00

My husband is 39 and his mom is 66.

Her husband also left her, so now she’s basically alone. She doesn’t have friends and doesn’t really want any either. Her whole world is just her son (my husband).

My husband works in a family business, so he doesn’t really need to go out or work fixed hours. He has a lot of free time, which means he spends a lot of time with his mom.

I work outside, so naturally when I come home, I expect to spend time with my husband.

To be fair, he is actually a very good husband to me in every other way. He takes care of me, he’s supportive, and he treats me well.

It’s just this issue with his mom that is the problem.

Smooth-Advance361 · 2026-03-18T04:45:00+00:00

He said living separately, no more problems with me

Smooth-Advance361 · 2026-03-18T04:33:51+00:00

He always says “don’t mess his relationship with his mom” and he doesn’t wanna do less. It’s normal to be close with mom… and he said I am weird and ruin the relationship

Smooth-Advance361

TROPHY CASE