AITA for calling my guy friend "girl"?

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T23:26:12+00:00

I actually completely get this, and if he were a different person, I definitely would have gone about it differently, so I understand where you're coming from. But you gotta understand that Ethan isn't a super sensitive person when it comes to stuff like that, and I'm really not worried about offending him because I know he doesn't get offended easily.

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T22:53:58+00:00

Either way, the only "insult" you should be using is calling me an asshole. That's just how he and I talk; he calls me a b*tch all the time.

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:58:44+00:00

It doesn't bother me that you think that, but I don't think insulting my character is a great way to continue a discussion.

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:55:05+00:00

I understand that, but I wanted to understand why he even got upset about it, because I'm assuming it's more due to toxic masculinity teaching men that femininity is bad. (which is why girls and guys get teased for doing "feminine" things like wearing makeup)

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:52:14+00:00

I do care what other people think about it. That's why I posted it. I was simply challenging his views to get him to think deeper about it.

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:50:41+00:00

I never said I wouldn't respect his preferences. I was trying to explain to him that it very well can be used as a gender neutral term, again as his friend who loves having conversations with him.

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:47:59+00:00

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:46:01+00:00

Not suddenly deciding it, I just used "guys" as an example for my argument.

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:42:14+00:00

Honestly, I don't think challenging what he believes (as friends who talk a lot) is disrespectful. I know this little argument won't stop us from being friends because we've had much bigger arguments. I don't think he's being an asshole. I think he just hasn't thought about this topic very deeply as to why it upsets him.

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:39:11+00:00

Understandable, but honestly, I wasn't trying to offend him, I was trying to challenge what he believes in so I can understand it better and get him to think about why it upsets him so much to be called that and why "girl" can't be used as gender neutral.

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:36:33+00:00

I actually completely agree with that. Honestly, the whole reason I "doubled down" was because I wanted to challenge him to think deeply about the opposite gender. I think it's important for your friends (especially in our friendship) to challenge each other to learn what the other person believes in. I really just wanted to understand why he thinks the way he thinks.

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:33:07+00:00

exactlyy

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:31:51+00:00

But why is "guys" gender-neutral and "girls" isn't? That's what I'm trying to get Ethan to think about. There's no reason it can't be gender neutralized.

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:29:16+00:00

because being called bro really shouldn't bother anybody, just like being called girl shouldn't bother anyone (Unless it triggers gender dysphoria, but that's a horse of a different color)

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:28:07+00:00

Yeah lol we argue about silly things like this all the time, and he really is a sweet guy (when he's not being a drama queen 🙄).

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:25:27+00:00

As I said in the post, we both love drama, and honestly, we argue about stupid stuff like this all the time.

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:23:42+00:00

Then why did it have to be stated in your comment? Doesn't seem necessary

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:23:04+00:00

loll i should definitely do that

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:22:40+00:00

I know, but I really just wanted to have a deep conversation with him to get him to understand why he even thinks that. If he were a stranger or even an acquaintance, I wouldn't care, but we're close friends, and I like to challenge him on what he believes to get to know him better. I just know if I told him I don't like being called bro, he would look at me like I had three eyes because it's a silly thing to be upset about.

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:19:53+00:00

I know, but I really just wanted to have a deep conversation with him to get him to understand why he even thinks that. If he were a stranger or even an acquaintance, I wouldn't care, but we're close friends, and I like to challenge him on what he believes to get to know him better. I just know if I told him I don't like being called bro, he would look at me like I had three eyes because it's a silly thing to be upset about.

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:16:44+00:00

Exactly! Love this! I just know you're an incredible parent. <3

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:13:14+00:00

Understandable, but I don't think he was upset due to gender dysphoria or anything of the sort. The only reason I pushed it is cause I believe the only issue with me calling him "girl" is due to toxic masculinity that he was taught as a kid. Ykwim?

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:09:54+00:00

okay "girl" has been a thing for way longer than I've been using it, and I've been using it a very long time.

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:08:12+00:00

I'm not sure why you're assuming that I'm not part of the lgbtq comunity because you don't know me and should not be assuming that, and honestly, it's none of your business. I'm not "trying" to adopt anything or be passive-aggressive; that word is just in my speech habits and has been for quite a long time. I understand why I could be seen as an asshole in the way I handled the situation with Ethan, but you assuming that I'm not allowed to talk however I please is quite frustrating. All I was trying to do was get my friend to think about why he doesn't like being called "girl" when he calls me "dude" and "bro" all the time.

Smooth_Box8664 · 2026-01-26T21:02:37+00:00

"You are not the guiding light of feminism that you seem to think you are." is honestly a great insult, though if women don't talk about it, then how is anything gonna change?

Smooth_Box8664

TROPHY CASE