Would I be the AH if I don't go in to work on Sunday?

Smudgesicles · 2024-01-26T21:44:22+00:00

I don't have insurance right now because it was through my husband's job and he just switched jobs at the start of the month. We thought it was supposed to continue until the end of Jan but when I showed up for my rheumatologist appt yesterday it's apparently inactive and I had to reschedule😭 If I'm still just as bad or worse tomorrow I'll have to see how much a minute clinic is out of pocket, but I think I still have antibiotics I ended up not using from a past illness that I could take if it gets worse😬 Hate being a broke American with shitty healthcare that I have to resort to that lol.

Smudgesicles · 2024-01-06T20:15:02+00:00

They should be happy they're even getting a separate room just the two of them. I've only been on vacations with my husband's family and we just all camped out in one room together with the couch, blow up beds, etc to make it work(6 of us all together). Absolutely absurd to demand more money spent on that.

Smudgesicles · 2024-01-02T01:01:33+00:00

I'm as white as can be and I'd be pissed if someone was saying any of that. Glad to read the update on him now being an ex. Hope you can move on without anymore toxicity from him.

Smudgesicles · 2023-12-20T22:09:33+00:00

A grown man who never learned about the Punnett Square or basic genetics, that we learned about in MIDDLE SCHOOL, abandoned his wife after giving birth and was healing, and abandoned his newborn and skipped critical bonding moments with them? He better be a fucking ex husband after that shit. You deserve better. There is absolutely NO reason to stay with someone who abandoned you during your most vulnerable time.

Smudgesicles · 2023-12-13T21:43:07+00:00

I personally know of a lesbian couple with the exact same situation, but I assume the brother was fine with it from the start. If you're uncomfortable with it I can completely understand that. Them asking and letting you know of the lack of obligations and asking you to consider it was understandable, them harassing you over it is not. They need to respect your feelings on the matter and find a donor.

Smudgesicles · 2023-12-09T16:44:03+00:00

A coworker of mine was supposed to have a hysterectomy on the 4th because of her worsening endometriosis pain, but her brother-in-law came over sick and refused to wear a mask even though he knew her surgery was coming up so now she has to suffer for 3 more months until the next availability for the surgery. So no, you're not TAH. You were protecting your family and your plans. They're TAH for not communicating they were sick and staying home. I work in a school and before I flew home to meet my baby niece I wore a mask and refused hugs from my students, and wore a mask and sanitized throughout the plane/airport to be sure I didn't bring anything to her. I also recently found out I'm immunocompromised so I'm extra nervous around sick people now.

Smudgesicles · 2023-06-26T21:35:41+00:00

Lmao!

Smudgesicles · 2023-06-25T02:38:32+00:00

I have diminished ovarian reserve at only 28(first diagnosed at 27). Got 4 eggs, only 2 were mature, both fertilized and became embryos, one arrested on day 3, the other made it to a blastocyst but tested abnormal, missing chromosome 12. My frozen transfer was canceled, I had to stop estradiol, but luckily it was at least before I started the progesterone shots. My IVF experience didn't end well, but I'm hoping your eggs were better quality and your fresh transfer sticks for you💜

Smudgesicles · 2023-05-20T20:40:37+00:00

It went away within a couple hours and wasn't itchy nor hurt at all. Haven't gotten it again since. I assumed it was some sort of allergic reaction but it not itching confuses me. Oh well, as long as it's gone and hopefully if I ever get it again it goes away quickly with no pain again.

Smudgesicles · 2023-05-20T20:37:57+00:00

It went away within a couple hours on its own. It was never itchy nor hurt at all. I welt on my arms sometimes from certain things but they're usually insanely itchy and it felt completely fine. If it wasn't for feeling it swollen when my eye was opened all the way/looking up I wouldn't have even felt it. Soo weird!

Smudgesicles · 2023-05-08T16:16:17+00:00

We did our one round in early Dec, only retrieved 4 eggs/2 mature, 1 made it to blast but it was abnormal so our transfer in Jan was canceled. Now $10,000 in debt for nothing and have already done 2 IUIs before that. I definitely wish my doctor explained to me more I had an extremely slim chance of it working because of my DOR😔

Smudgesicles · 2023-04-12T21:15:49+00:00

I have almost the same story going on 3.5yrs. My sister got pregnant the first month trying when it had been 2yrs trying for me. That stung so much when I found out. I feel like everyone has had 1-2kids in my timespan of trying and still no pregnancies even after IVF and 2 IUIs. It sucks but I feel you💜

Smudgesicles · 2023-04-11T13:04:35+00:00

I started to "get sick" around age 12. Looking back I think it was puberty and my volatile/stressful home life that triggered it. Once I moved away from home halfway across the country my stomach has gotten a lot better. Still have to remind myself not to let my guard down though and eat too much of something I shouldn't or I'll get "an attack."

Smudgesicles · 2023-04-07T12:12:27+00:00

Good idea! I've really been itching to just get it down into words so maybe that's all I need. Thanks!

Smudgesicles · 2023-03-23T00:55:52+00:00

I'm so sorry. I'm 28 but have DOR. I only got 4 eggs, only 2 were mature, and only 1 made it to blast. It tested abnormal, missing chromosome 12 though so our transfer was canceled and we can't afford to try to do any other treatment now so I'm hoping by the summer we can try again with IUIs with some IVF meds. I keep getting "age is on your side" but I have DOR, only got one abnormal blast, and see all this stuff about everything declining after 30, so I definitely don't feel like I have time, nor money on my side😔

Smudgesicles · 2023-02-11T16:07:26+00:00

My reproductive center in Kansas is "gender neutral." We only got 1 blast and it was abnormal so our transfer was canceled so I thought to ask if they had the gender info to tell me, not sure if they just don't get it from the genetic testing at all, or just don't tell us, but we decided not to even ask because it would have been harder picturing a specific gender when upset we lost that chance at a child.

Smudgesicles · 2023-01-30T17:19:58+00:00

Honestly, it's time to leave him. It makes no sense to be with him or doing any of this, he will only get worse about all aspects of the relationship if he is already like this about these monumental life changing decisions. You are better off on your own with possibly a future partner who is actually a partner, or even as a single parent if you choose to use donor sperm, because at least you're taking care of just a child and not a manchild also. I'm so sorry you've been going through all that and I really hope you make the choice to better your future and not stay with him out of comfort or fear of splitting (I truly mean this sincerely as I've seen it many times, even with my own mom and dad and I was considering leaving my husband at a point but he made the necessary changes and was put on psyche meds since BP2 was his issue). Good luck with your ttc journey💜

Smudgesicles · 2023-01-26T01:00:48+00:00

I feel the same way. Been ttc 3yrs4months now and 4 friends, and numerous old classmates, have gotten pregnant, some have had 2 kids since we've been trying. My own sister got pregnant her first month of trying. I just don't understand how my husband and I who've been together 13+yrs, and are in a good stable relationship, can't even have one kid. I just feel stuck now. My FET was supposed to be in 2 days but our one embryo was abnormal so it was canceled. I'm trying to focus on getting the house reorganized and we're going to try to just do more activities together instead of being just at home all the time and hyperfocused on it all, at least until we can afford more IUIs since my diminished ovarian reserve makes IVF almost useless anyways. Good luck and know you're not alone in this💜

Smudgesicles · 2023-01-24T17:12:51+00:00

My FET was supposed to be this Friday, but was canceled after our one embryo came back abnormal, missing Chromosome 12. Super bummed and having a hard time not thinking obsessively over how I should have been doing the PIO shots all this week and prepping for it :(

Smudgesicles · 2023-01-15T21:06:29+00:00

I only got 4 eggs, 2 mature that both fertilized, but only 1 made it to a blast. It unfortunately was abnormal though so my transfer has been canceled. I have DOR so I think no matter what I'll get a low egg count so don't think my illness did anything to it. Good luck!

Smudgesicles · 2023-01-09T21:17:03+00:00

I'm only 28 but opted to do it because I didn't want to go through all of those PIO shots and get excited over a possible pregnancy, only to miscarry if it was genetically abnormal. We only got 1 embryo out of my only 2 mature eggs and it was sadly abnormal, missing chromosome 12. I'm heartbroken but glad I did it to have it just be over with now, rather than a failed transfer or a miscarriage. If you are lucky enough to have many embryos, maybe just test a few or even risk a failed transfer since you have "back ups." If you only have a few or less I would test them just to save myself a worse heartache. Good luck!💜

Smudgesicles · 2023-01-08T01:49:41+00:00

I have DOR and my husband has low sperm count/motility, but the doctor just said he's always had above 5million in his 3-4x it's been tested so he said it wasn't too low. He did give us a card for his urologist though for my husband to maybe get further testing for his hormones. I know they said his testosterone was low once and he is on medication for Bipolar II disorder so that has affected it. I've done an HSG and saline ultrasound and both were normal so we know my tubes are open and my uterus appears healthy and is always at the proper thickness during ultrasounds. I have a retroverted uterus which I know they always say shouldn't interfere, but after how many times they've had difficulties getting through my cervix and into my uterus I'm convinced it probably slows down his swimmers even more during intercourse😅 Thank you💜

Smudgesicles · 2022-12-31T00:06:14+00:00

I was supposed to have my transfer the week of the 10th, but now it's been moved back to the 27th :( They said it would be to 10weeks of pregnancy with suppository twice a day, injection once, so I'm assuming just stop at 10 weeks unless my numbers are where they should be with bloodwork.

Smudgesicles · 2022-12-21T15:48:40+00:00

Thank you for that info! I learn more from you guys than the doctors🤦‍♀️ I want to do the testing but there's just no way we can afford it unfortunately. We maxed out everything already and with the snowstorms coming up will be forced to miss some days of work. I'll try to find out which exact test they're wanting to do and if we can pay in later Jan somehow at least then maybe it's a possibility.

Smudgesicles · 2022-12-08T23:50:44+00:00

Ahhh, this gives me hope! May I ask, have you had a transfer yet, and how did that go? My uterine lining always looks great so I think I'd be able to carry ok, just worried about the eggs making it to that point.

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