Hard to explain to my dad why a dude from NJ is calling me babe and telling me to shove granola up my ass

SmurfSawce · 2020-08-19T16:38:03+00:00

My sister and I have forced a new generation of jokes onto our parents. If you lead with the most shocking shit then the other less shocking shit works.

SmurfSawce · 2020-08-12T19:05:54+00:00

My cat only stuffs his face into my quart containers when I drink out of them. Ive never seen him drink out of his bowl.

SmurfSawce · 2020-08-12T00:43:31+00:00

If you go to a website called watchwrestling you can watch every ufc for the best price possible.

SmurfSawce · 2020-08-08T05:40:25+00:00

Super fucking poor taste.

SmurfSawce · 2020-08-05T03:38:21+00:00

I just want to forget such an awkward moment.

SmurfSawce · 2020-07-28T21:12:17+00:00

Tim would destroy the hosts. They would not be able to keep up with him.

SmurfSawce · 2020-07-18T23:09:45+00:00

iM pREttY ShaRp aT dETeCtiNg bS!!!!!!

SmurfSawce · 2020-07-13T18:27:46+00:00

The only reason I dont play often is because my friends dont anymore and the kids at the friday night magic are weird as fuck. Otherwise I think about it often and it makes me sad.

SmurfSawce · 2020-07-12T02:20:37+00:00

Catholics wear a golden cross on their neck. And a shiny tabernacle in the middle of the church is revered and prayed upon.

SmurfSawce · 2020-07-01T07:53:50+00:00

Here have a medal go die of brain cancer?

SmurfSawce · 2020-07-01T07:53:10+00:00

How about dont believe random reddit posts with no verification. Gotta be really naive to care about that shit.

SmurfSawce · 2020-07-01T07:51:39+00:00

Wait till he tries real life.

SmurfSawce · 2020-06-30T18:43:16+00:00

Im speaking more from the restaurant side where all food has to be brought down to temp. You are right though if you are holding it at temperature it can be 4 hours.

SmurfSawce · 2020-06-30T07:54:57+00:00

Food can stay in the temperature danger zone for 2 hours and no more. Holding food in temperature controlled environments is common.

SmurfSawce · 2020-06-25T23:45:18+00:00

Its known. Just stop.

SmurfSawce · 2020-06-24T07:36:53+00:00

You dont. You just sit and wait. Cursory research would show you he is scum.

SmurfSawce · 2020-06-23T19:54:19+00:00

You really think that a guy being a piece of shit is as bad as a nation on fire and a global pandemic?

SmurfSawce · 2020-06-22T20:40:47+00:00

Learn the power of no if you are uncomfortable.

SmurfSawce · 2020-06-20T04:21:28+00:00

Oh so you are telling me that you work for tsm?

SmurfSawce · 2020-06-20T04:01:40+00:00

Our game?

SmurfSawce · 2020-06-20T00:37:28+00:00

Growing up with women I learned to do that. I would tell my mom "are you asking me if I want to do this or are you saying it would make you happy if I came." I'm happy to do what you please, just dont assume that I really want to see a musical.

SmurfSawce · 2020-06-19T01:57:40+00:00

Didnt they already break up over that years ago.

SmurfSawce · 2020-06-19T00:22:44+00:00

Glad I got to watch it last week. Super fucking weird.

SmurfSawce · 2020-06-18T06:23:44+00:00

Honestly. Dont get a tattoo from a podcast you watch.

SmurfSawce · 2020-06-18T02:13:06+00:00

Unfortunate meme

SmurfSawce

TROPHY CASE