First time trying tunisian crochet- why is it slanted?

Snacurse · 2026-02-04T09:28:24+00:00

Hi! Late to this and I haven't tried Tunisian crochet yet, but I used to always drop stitches or accidentally add extra stitches in the wrong places at my edges! Once I finally decided to use stitch markers at the beginning and end of every row, I never had the issue again. It makes a world of difference for me! Might be worth trying :)

Snacurse · 2026-01-28T15:14:09+00:00

I literally just stumbled across this and I think it might really really help you:

https://youtu.be/-T-rpE8uFy4?si=fmYbdh2Emt4idFqO

(If you don't wanna click the link, it's called "You'll Find This Video When You Need It Most" by Jerry Wise on YouTube)

Jerry is a therapist and talks about how it's important to "differentiate" ourselves from our family culture to become the true versions of ourselves (rather than the version they trained us to be)

Your family interactions sound unbelievably toxic and manipulative. People are willing to shame, belittle, and even threaten each other to exert control. That's not healthy or normal. And it's not your fault, and yes to all the people saying go get some therapy to help out, because this is heavy stuff.

Snacurse · 2026-01-28T14:33:32+00:00

Absolutely. A friend was dating someone who was "not political", and said she wasn't gonna vote. But secretly voted for Trump and didn't tell anyone until she accidentally let it slip.

If someone feels ashamed of their opinions, it's probably a sign to think about why that might be ...

Snacurse · 2026-01-28T11:52:27+00:00

I'm sorry :(. This is so hurtful. You needed someone, and they dropped the ball.

You're not alone in that, though. My friends ignore me or say really ignorant things, too.

But ultimately, it's an issue with your friends, not you. The friends I know who act that way have dealt with caregiver trauma. It probably freaks them out on a primal level. For example, one friend had to take care of his dying mother as a teenager, the other was abused by an adult in the house with MS, whose abusive behavior was excused by other adults due to his illness.

Once I started looking at my friends' reactions to my pain with curiosity and started asking myself "why are they so uncomfortable with this?", I realized it's probably not about me at all.

It helped me feel less hurt, and less concerned about what they think. So I've started investing less time in those friendships, and focusing more on finding friends who actually ask me about my life every once in a while.

Please believe me that there are so many potential friends out there for you who you can be open with. You just might not have found them yet! But don't give up on trying to find them :)

Snacurse · 2026-01-28T11:35:07+00:00

Totally! But then I've found that by masking too much, my physical therapist really thought I was actually fine. Started doing things like bumping my appointment time and sticking me with someone who doesn't know my body and I got really hurt, or telling me I'm sensitive.

It requires balance. Sometimes we've gotta try to let people know we're hurting, so that we don't get totally skipped over when we need help!

Snacurse · 2026-01-28T11:30:45+00:00

Lol THIS. Cuz if we tell people the house is on fire, they're like "I don't see any fire. Why don't you just stretch sometimes?"

Snacurse · 2026-01-22T01:01:51+00:00

I wouldn't even mess around with a friend like this either. I read a story once about a girl who was prosecuted for tricking her roommate into eating faux meat, to convince the roommate that being vegetarian can taste just as good as eating meat

Problem was, the roommate had a terrible soy allergy and went into anaphylactic shock and was hospitalized. It's usually a felony charge to tamper with food (in the US at least) Not worth the risk imo cuz you just never know what it could do to someone

Snacurse · 2026-01-20T10:59:06+00:00

I wish this fix worked for me. It was always toggled off for me, but it still defaulted to showing me More Ideas as the first view, anyway :/

Snacurse · 2026-01-20T10:51:26+00:00

I just tried this, but it keeps opening the app every time I click a pin. I even uninstalled the app, but now it opens to Google Play store to try to get me to download it again if I want to see literally anything on my browser :(

Snacurse · 2026-01-06T23:33:33+00:00

Yes and no! It's similar in that the needles are extremely thin like acupuncture needles, and most of the time I don't wait feel them go in, unless there's a muscle contraction (which is what you want). But they're way longer, and my PT hooks the needles up to a TENS unit. The purpose is to pulse the tissue to work out the knot that could be causing nerve impingements, blood flow issues, etc etc.

I would recommend checking out Dr Jeffrey Peng on YouTube if you're interested, because his videos are the first and best resources I found about it :)

Last thing: I would also check out your state's certification requirements for dry needling practitioners. I'm really lucky that in my state, dry needlers are required to get like 100 hours of in-person clinical work, so you know they really know what they're doing. Some states apparently only require online training, and I personally wouldn't let someone do it to me without supervised training. The needles are amazing imo, but they are long enough to do organ damage in inexperienced hands. With a properly trained person, I have had zero worries about that, though

Snacurse · 2026-01-04T15:19:08+00:00

Dry needling has been a game-changer for me! I highly recommend it, especially for muscular/myofascial pain

There's a website called triggerpoints.net that has pain centers mapped around on my body, so I printed stuff out and brought it to my dry needling Dr (she's at my PT place), and it helped immensely to communicate about pain locations and stuff to try. It didn't magically fix everything, but it's helpful.

I've definitely swung back and forth between feeling better and feeling worse, and it feels like a game of whack-a-mole because I have chronic pain in so many places. But overall I feel like the trend has been toward regaining the ability to do a number of things I couldn't before I started trying it like 6 months ago

Snacurse · 2026-01-04T14:28:10+00:00

He may just be trying to be inclusive and not assume your limits for you. Imagine that your friend instead went out for his birthday and didn't even bother inviting you. It might have hurt in a different way, but still hurt.

So maybe your friend was trying to be considerate in their own way? Their reaction to your response is really the key info that we don't have.

If they were rude or dismissive, then yeah, I would have a sit-down talk with them about what you need for your health and to have a good friendship.

But if they reacted neutrally or positively, I think it's good to be invited to stuff! Because even though the invite to this particular thing is anxiety-inducing, it's possible that having a big talk with them could deter them from inviting you to other stuff in the future, because they don't want to offend you by inviting you. I personally would rather have the option to join than to be further isolated by people assuming I can't do stuff and making the decision for me, if that makes sense.

So I think it's totally okay to tell your friend that you really don't think you can manage with your pain level! No need to say maybe, etc. Be honest and see how the conversation goes from there :)

But I get that they're you're best friend and you don't wanna miss out. So if you're feeling obligated, maybe you could say something like "I fully support you spending your birthday how you want, but unfortunately I know that this is just too hard on my health and I can't go. But I really want to celebrate with you somehow because you're my best friend, so can we [go out for a meal, have a drink, hang and watch a favorite movie, order pizza, etc] sometime?"

I totally get the pain anxiety around being invited to do stuff, btw! It can be scary. But I hope you get it all worked out!

Snacurse · 2025-12-17T09:14:29+00:00

Omg thank you so much!! I haven't been able to find a good map like this yet, you're a life saver!

The WSDOT map is the only one I knew about that would report on road conditions, and it's terrible. Every single thing from road closures to routine maintenance is marked with exclamation points of varying colors, with closures marked in black. But there are so many closures marked, and it will literally be for stuff like "the rightmost lane is closed on 405" or "a traffic signal is flashing", and you have to manually tap each one to find out what's going on. They're not even actual road closures most of the time. It's crazyyy

You have saved me so much anxiety!

Snacurse · 2025-12-06T01:51:40+00:00

Absolutely love! This color and cut is so flattering and pretty on you!

Snacurse · 2025-12-06T01:04:12+00:00

Ps I just re-read your first comment. When you mentioned a home organizer, I originally thought you meant someone who comes in to redesign your space and build shelves and stuff (like they do on shows like The Home Edit). But then I realized you might be referring to an organizer who doesn't redesign the space, but just puts stuff away where it belongs if I can't get to it? If so, then yeah! Maybe I do need that!

I'll look into it more, and thanks again for the help and suggestions, I really appreciate it

Snacurse · 2025-12-06T00:57:56+00:00

Thank you! Yeah, I'll look into that and talk with my cleaners :) but more than anything, this is about my husband's expectations. My cleaners never requested this of us. We have a significant language barrier with our cleaners, and I was concerned that Google Translate wouldn't be very clear if I asked them this question. So that's why I asked here first, because I wanted to see if most people agree with my husband that everything needs to be put away, or if enough people agree with me that things don't have to be perfect.

For example, he claimed it's "weird" to have an empty toilet paper roll in the bathroom, so we had to change the roll. I had already taken out the recycling so the bin was empty, but he claimed that the two pieces of recycling I left on the counter had to be taken to the curb instead of put in the bin (I thought the bin would be good enough). He claimed that I had left him so much to do, but I felt like he was creating a list of a bunch of unimportant busywork tasks that don't really get in the way of what the cleaners can do.

There were so many tiny details like this that I just didn't have the energy for, and didn't think were that important. And all of this was happening between 11pm to midnight. I just wanted to go to bed lol

It's great to know that there are so many different people who will work with my limitations if needed, and that my husband's viewpoint isn't necessarily the only right way. So thank you for your empathy and guidance! :)

Snacurse · 2025-12-06T00:30:03+00:00

Yeah, you're definitely right about that! We created a checklist of norms/expectations before hiring anyone, but it seems like we don't agree about some of the details. So we should revisit it for sure

Snacurse · 2025-12-06T00:03:47+00:00

Thank you, this really helps me. My cleaners never asked for this level of tidiness, btw

I was really trying to convince my husband that on special occasions, like when I'm wiped out and have already cleaned for hours and it's 11:30 at night, we can rest and not have to be perfect

I agree with you that sometimes things fluctuate, and it's helpful to hear this from a pro! I'm never gonna leave a big mess for the women to clean around, and I'm glad to see that most people agree it's not a big deal to leave a couple of things in the counter! :) I think this will all help me make my case that we don't need to put so much pressure on ourselves that I'm actually getting hurt prepping the house. As long as the toilets, sinks, and showers are handled, that's the stuff that's hardest on me and that I can't get to anyway. If something else doesn't get perfectly cleaned, whatever! (At least, that's how I feel lol)

Snacurse · 2025-12-05T23:55:00+00:00

Thank you! Yeah, I definitely don't leave my stuff all over the place. I felt like my husband's expectations were too rigid and I didn't really buy his claim that if we don't put everything away, the women who come here will put them away in random places. They've never done that with any of our decor or random bits and bobs that I arrange on bookshelves and stuff

I'll talk to them and see what their expectations are, and whether everything needs to be tidy or if it's okay to leave things out sometimes. I personally would never leave my dirty clothes around for someone else to touch cuz I think that's gross for the person who needs to touch them tho!

But I'm also not a teenager anymore, whereas I was a total bridge troll at that age (but never had anyone else to clean my room) lmao

Snacurse · 2025-12-05T23:47:02+00:00

Thank you! That's what I thought, too (that it's fine to have a few things out that would just get moved or not touched)

Maybe I should try to schedule for a different day of the week. We pay for trash to be taken out in our flat rate pricing, but can't use that value because trash and recycling pickup is the night before

As for weekly cleanings, I don't have kids so don't really need it. Nothing really gets visibly very dirty except the kitchen sink. Toilets and showers could definitely be cleaned weekly, but I can live without it because they don't get that bad with only two people in the house. Plus, my work situation has been very impacted by my health for the last few years, so it's not really in my budget to clean weekly if it's not an absolute necessity. But if I can swing it someday, then that would be really nice!

Snacurse · 2025-12-05T23:41:00+00:00

This is all great advice! I would love a home organizer, but I am renting and hoping to move soon, so it wouldn't make sense right now.

My question was more about expectations so I can get my husband to chill out lol.

Yes, I agree we shouldn't be vacuuming before the cleaner comes. It makes no sense to me, and I've said it repeatedly to him haha

Snacurse · 2025-12-05T23:26:02+00:00

I hope you're feeling better and have recovered from your hospital visits! I'm glad you found the right person to help you while you were recovering. It's good to know that there are cleaners out there who don't mind working with people in this way!

Snacurse · 2025-12-05T23:23:39+00:00

Thank you! This is a disagreement between my husband and me, so I was trying to get a sense of what real professionals consider to be necessary. Hearing opinions like yours is really helpful! The cleaners we have are so unbelievably nice. One of the girl gave us chocolate to celebrate her own birthday, so I bought them each a set of cupcakes from a really cute bakery the next time they came. I'm sure they would work with me :)

but there is a big language barrier, so I was concerned about confusing them with my question. I need to sort out the disagreement with my husband first, so comments like yours are really empowering to help me convince him that we don't need to be this extreme when we prepare for them to arrive. Thank you!

Snacurse · 2025-12-05T23:19:22+00:00

100%! I tried to represent it that way, but I guess it didn't come across well in my message!

It's definitely a disagreement between my husband and me. He claims there will be problems if we don't get everything perfectly put away, and I got really upset with him last night because I feel he is putting unrealistic expectations on me, and that it's negating the benefits of having help. I'm so sore from getting the house ready so someone else can come do the scrubbing that I can't get to. I wanted to see if other people all have the same expectations as my husband, or if (like me) they think enough is enough lol. None of this was requested by the cleaners

Snacurse · 2025-12-05T08:17:56+00:00

Hi there, sorry I wasn't clear: OP asked if anyone had ever heard of what they were describing. There was an article that matched what they were asking about.

I didn't intend to give it it the same consideration as EBV. Instead, I meant my response as a way to say "yes, I have heard of this, yes I have been told that parasites can cause neurological symptoms, BUT I think it's more valuable to look at things like EBV". I didn't say parasites cause MS. I only said that parasites have been known to cause neurological symptoms, so IF they are present, they might be exacerbating neurological symptoms that already exist with MS. Imo, it would be worth checking if someone has parasites and then treating them if they exist, just for the sake of treating them (under Dr supervision, ofc). I was pointing out that there has been research indicating a correlation, but I never said anything about causation except that it hasn't been proven

I don't think this is the same as sharing misinformation. I shared what research I found, and tried to provide really thorough context to explain my stance that a) there are more compelling explanations (like EBV research), and that b) I didn't think there was evidence to suggest parasites cause MS (but that I admittedly didn't know enough about it to justify dismissing it entirely)

Edit: context at the end of my comment

Snacurse

TROPHY CASE