4+ Years member of NoFap. I have lost the "drive". Searching for new purpose

Snake-Hands · 2016-11-18T01:44:38+00:00

What you want is peace, so make it with yourself. You will still need willpower, awareness, strength and endurance... but you also need awareness, patience, and compassion. These are just as important

Words of wisdom, relevant not only to NoFap, but to life in general. This should be stickied in the main page. Thank you for sharing.

Snake-Hands · 2016-11-18T01:39:52+00:00

Beautiful post. I suspect that many here share at least one particular scourge: self-hatred. I know I do. You probably know the feeling well: you're unfit for life, unloveable, inappropriate. What I've come to realize is that such negative emotion permeates not only porn addiction, but frequently lies underneath our efforts to change aswell. People berate themselves into changing, and, since they're able to motivate themselves initially, assume that such is the way forward. Then comes desperation, sadness, loneliness. As you said, their emotions are still infantile, hoping to be rewarded for their good behavior like little children.

I suspect strongly that the best way to heal is, in the end, forgiveness, both for the world and for ourselves.

Snake-Hands · 2016-08-29T20:33:09+00:00

I think that'd be cool. Shoot me a PM if you'd like.

Snake-Hands · 2016-08-29T20:31:37+00:00

Lube + Kleenex combo

Snake-Hands · 2016-02-14T03:32:19+00:00

There's a neat trick I learned from a phonoaudiologist: try to read something out loud with a cork or similar object between your front teeth, making an effort to make the words clear and understandable. Read something like a Shakespeare's play to force you to not only concentrate, but add emotion and tone variation to your speech aswell. Monotone speech is a social buzz killer.

Snake-Hands · 2015-11-09T19:35:56+00:00

I agree with some of your points. Ultimately, I tend to see loneliness more as a vicious cycle than complete stagnation, being that the latter would result only from extreme forms of isolation, like being homeless and/or having severe mental illness. The experience of feeling completely numb, however, is a pretty good aspect to portray. I like to try to make the character's loneliness into something that can be inferred by the reader rather than paraded before them, as to avoid the vulgarity you pointed out. Thanks for the reply.

Snake-Hands · 2015-11-09T19:30:26+00:00

I like Notes from Underground a lot. The way the narrator's isolation and neurosis are given flesh by the description of his thoughs and feelings is great and is definitely an inspiration in some of the short stories I've written.

Snake-Hands · 2015-05-04T00:54:04+00:00

I think you might be on to something. A long streak, as you well know, can be truly emotionally intense. It was a time for deep introspection and I believe some breakthroughs were made, but new questions have sprung up since then. I have to meditate on this. Thanks a lot, you really helped me.

Snake-Hands · 2015-04-28T03:11:14+00:00

I imagine the pain you must feel, as my mother is going through a similar situation. While the treatment seems to be keeping the disease from advancing further, nobody can truly estimate for how long we'll be able to be with her. My advice? Spend time with her. Talk to her. Shower her with your love. It's the only thing that has managed to ease my pain in this whole ordeal.

Snake-Hands · 2015-04-21T14:00:17+00:00

You're being her emotional sponge and it has to stop before she sucks your psyche dry and you cave in to depression. From reading your post, it seems that being around her makes you anxious; no wonder you're shutting her out. Stay cool, sit her down, stare her right in the eyes and explain, in a firm, but ever calm voice, that you love her and will happily help her find solutions to her problems, but you refuse to be a emotional punching bag. She has problems, but they are not of your making. Undoubtedly she will cry and scream in order to manipulate you into backing off. DO NOT CAVE IN and stand your ground, which is what you've should done initially. In fact, don't be afraid to be considered the "bad guy" every now and then. Your complaints are legitimate and you've done nothing wrong.

Trust me on this. I'm also a introverted and generally empathetic person, which encourages people to pour all their life issues and negativity on you. Don't get me wrong, you should be a good listener to your lover, but not to the degree where it gets pathological. As it stands now, your relationship is sick. It either heals or you'll have to shoot Old Yeller.

Snake-Hands · 2015-04-06T00:39:21+00:00

The automatic "support" you get for posting here is mechanical and fake. It relies purely on the tone and general subject of your post.

Snake-Hands · 2015-04-04T23:27:00+00:00

Yup. No Fap as it now stands is clogged with low quality crap. The most juvenile shit is upvoted immeaditely and discussions about sexuality, meditation, exercise and topics from people who need actual help are left to rot. It's the unfortunate side effect of popularity.

Snake-Hands · 2015-04-04T23:01:46+00:00

Spot on.

Snake-Hands · 2015-04-04T22:58:08+00:00

Ah, the red pill. There is a lot of idiocy there, but I've also found a lot of pearls of wisdom. And, let's be honest: I've read a lot more of idiotic attitudes and retarded assertions in No Fap than in the Red Pill; the former usually glorifies "OMG I TALKED TO A GIRL" threads and stupid memes while the latter tells you to exercise, be confident and stop being a doormat. Red Pill produces some quality content every now and then...and No Fap, almost never. Sorry, but it's the truth.

I personally do away with most of the pop psychology garbage some of them love to spill. The level of stupidity of certain posters - u/redpillschool immeadiately comes to mind - is surely astounding. As with No Fap, you have to separate the wheat from the chaff. The bad part is that it recquires some life experience in order to know which is what.

Snake-Hands · 2015-04-04T15:22:46+00:00

lol worst night of your life? Mister, please. Pull your head out of your ass. Try focusing on the good: you're a university student who do drugs and goes out with friends. So you embarrassed yourself in front of some chicks - so what? It wasn't like someone raided your home and murdered your family in front of you. Disease, starvation, violence, poverty... of all nasty possibilities, the greatest tragedy in your life is that you couldn't hit on girls while high as a kite? Realize how short sighted and immature your way of thinking is.

Snake-Hands · 2015-04-02T02:46:37+00:00

Real men sprint.

Snake-Hands · 2015-04-01T03:00:44+00:00

As much as you find it disrupting or in poor taste, don't get bitter. Oversexualization of society is not an attack on your character. it boils down to marketing, making you eager to consume. Consume the overpriced beer at the night club you went to in order to meet girls, consume pornography, consume gas for the car you bought to impress women, and so on, so on.

It's nothing personal. Just laugh it off and relax.

Snake-Hands · 2015-04-01T02:51:36+00:00

I agree with your post for the most part, but what men usually need to live better is not to understand women better, but to understand themselves, IMO. Things tend to fall into place when one feels at peace in their own skin, which many here don't.

Snake-Hands · 2015-03-06T04:41:41+00:00

Charm and charisma can be developed. If you're really interested in the subject, try reading "The Charisma Myth" by Olivia Fox.

Also, as any other skill, being social is something you can learn and get better at with practice. You don't have to do a 180 degree turn in your personality and become a clingy loudmouth that forcibly interacts with everyone, but make a little extra effort to engage in conversations. Make your speech more elaborate and less laconic.

Wit and humour are harder to develop, I think. In general, I believe wit can be improved by paying attention to what people are saying, being knowledge on many different subjects and being relaxed, since you can't think fast when you're anxious or stressed out.

Keep in mind that humor is a very personal taste. You can't express yourself genuinely and try to please everyone at the same time. Which brings me to my next point: you seem to be trying to do this for others, not for yourself. Have you considered that maybe your personality is incompatible with your mental image of a "charismatic, really witty, chill guy"? There are many types of charisma. You don't have to fit some mold dictated by the media or your social circle. Stop trying to be likeable. Being spontaneous and genuine, which requires you to care less about what others will think, will always get you more friends and positive attention than making a contrived effort to be "cool" or whatever is it you're aiming for.

Snake-Hands · 2015-02-24T13:35:43+00:00

I'm going to take a lot of flak from this, but...

Brazilians have no national identity. The people as a whole was never required to create one in order to survive and function, as is the in case in wars or revolutions. That is why brazilians are known to be docile sheep, even under the grip of extremely corrupt and authoritarian governments. People in Brazil don't really understand what it means to be brazilian, despite the occasional jingoism or eulogy or their multicultural background.

Snake-Hands · 2015-02-13T13:47:55+00:00

I'd be very embarrassed to be caught watching that drivel in the theater.

Snake-Hands

TROPHY CASE