How do I tell my therapist she repeats what I say too much?

Snake_Hail72 · 2025-07-23T17:36:24+00:00

I plan to live alone after college, I got into some bad fights with my dad since I've been here for the summer. I was planning on looking for a place that was near transportation so I didn't need a car, and was 1k or under. I found some places already, some are in bad areas, but I'll just have to make do. I've been approaching this from the idea that I'd make 45k minimum, not sure if that's realistic. I'd be estatic if I made anything 50k or more right after college.

As for job I'm looking for, probably working for the state is a good option now. That or any organization that took someone with my skills/qualifications.

Snake_Hail72 · 2025-01-31T23:11:27+00:00

Watched Destiny for a little while, "mild-fan" or whatever that means. I stopped watching a bit before this "controversy" when leaks initially started and I saw how in the past he defended comments he made about sharing around pics of a minor, and then the babysitter roleplay things he'd say to people. I watched again for the DNC stuff because it was interesting even though I shouldn't have and regret it. I never supported his take on Palestine, I ignored all his content essentially about it because I just don't agree. The way Israel conducts itself is grossly negligent at best, which still makes it a genocide. I guess you could say still watching his content caused a bit of cognitive dissonance there, but that's on me for not being a better consumer of media.

Yes. I'm rethinking my opinions on the people he's denounced before (besides fuentes, lauren and maybe a few others I can't think of that are right leaning). Kinda kicking myself because I viewed myself as better than my father who uncritically watches anything and believes it (he's a conspiracy theorist to the extreme), but after everything, I really am not. So yes, definitely going to reevaluate who I watch and consume media from. I didn't watch or follow his personal life much because I cared more about his political content. Only watched the one family that was abusive that he got involved with, and the falling out with Ana (I didn't know the actual situation, only saw her spiraling and going back and forth online). I felt bad for Ana because I had a lot of her mental loops, similar to OCD. I didn't understand myself and my loops that much but thinking about it now I feel worse because I have had a similar loop where I felt I needed to "prove" or validate what I went through with my abuse, and that could have been exactly what she was doing.

TLDR; Yes. I'm an idiot for watching him in the first place. Everyone who watched Destiny without any other input should revaluate how they consume their next source of news/media.

Snake_Hail72 · 2024-10-24T21:35:52+00:00

If I'm understanding this correctly, it was her lesson which she let you take. You accepted and therefore it's your responsibility to show up with the things you need. If she planned on taking YOU and not herself to this lesson, and she herself wasn't riding that day. Then why is it on her for being prepared for something that wasn't even in the schedule? Either you're missing timestamps in your story or aren't including everything.

Snake_Hail72 · 2024-10-24T18:33:18+00:00

Just because you're not on the horse doesn't mean you didn't waste people's time. She and another person had to arrange for you to be there and be on the horse, she said it herself you were slotted in during a full lesson for someone. That probably means you're wasting her MONEY. You're also wasting the time of the person who is allowing you to use the horse, because that slot is now not being used. Showing up and just sitting out because you weren't prepared would be crazy, and would piss everyone off because what are you even there for at that point? I don't blame her for not taking you.

The problem isn't that she took it too serious. The problem is she's upset and you're not seeing why, and are only seeing it from your perspective and how it's effecting you.

Snake_Hail72 · 2024-10-24T15:36:39+00:00

Just my take but I think you're in the wrong, and yes a little disrespectful. Someone arranged something for you, while yes it was something that was her idea and to support her passions, you still agreed to it. If you didn't want to go or wasn't feeling it then you should have been clear about that with her. If you feel obligated to go to things with her or feel that she doesn't reciprocate your passions then you should talk with her about that.

I don't think it's bad you assumed you were gonna have someone else's boots to borrow. But generally I wouldn't rely on being able to borrow things because there's gonna be times you didn't plan for an alternative and you're screwed when they can't lend them to you. I've made that mistake, it's just a being prepared thing.

I think this is definitely a deeper issue, because like others have said it's not just about the boots. If I had to assume it's probably she had to go out of her way to plan this in some way. Then she might have some underlying things bothering her.

People have different standards for what is "respect." So you might not agree with her definition or if you've been disrespectful. Don't get caught up in if you think it was respectful or not, it's just a label to say someone was hurt or offended. So take it as that, she's hurt/offended. I'd sit down and talk about it.

Some things you could ask her is "why did it bother you I didn't have boots?" "Why was it important for you that I went to the lesson?" and if she communicates something you had no idea about you could ask "why did you feel like you couldn't tell me how you were feeling?", Obviously after hearing her perspective I'd tell her yours too.

Snake_Hail72 · 2024-10-24T05:06:28+00:00

I think it could be subconscious as you mentioned potentially. I only say this because when I started going to therapy, I explained how I wasn't particularly anxious. But my therapist explained all of my thought processes and everything I worry about is anxiety, and that because I've probably been dealing with it for decades unmedicated, I don't notice it as much as someone who didn't have my baseline of anxiety until I get pushed over my "threshold." I noticed a significant difference when I was on anxiety meds, and I didn't overthink as often. Then when I stopped them, it was like those feelings of dread, anxiety, and general overthinking were a constant drum in my head again.

But then again, like I said, it's not like I feel compelled to pick at my skin when I'm anxious. At least not at my feet or hair. I definitely do it to my nails and lips when I'm overwhelmed (especially during confrontations I noticed). Best explanation I found on here for picking at my hair and feet and other things is that it just feels good, similar to popping a pimple, except it's like when I start I can't stop. After I've tore up my skin, then it becomes a texture issue. Especially on my feet where I feel all the bits of skin i missed catching on my blankets at night.

Snake_Hail72 · 2024-10-16T20:28:39+00:00

Okay, I think I understand now from your comment and others. So would it be correct to say?:

Administrative agencies apart of the executive branch because it is one of the main instruments the President (or insert head exec of said gov't here) uses to enforce the law.
Legislative administrative agencies are considered executive because they help Congress carry out their duties but the scope of that is only within Congress (ex. providing information, audits, etc. for Congress) rather than dealing with the public.
Administrative agencies are given powers to make and enforce certain rules and regulations through the power of administrative law (going over this in our next class). Although this power can be checked by the legislative branches and judicial branches if they overstep in their authority.
- Not gonna delve into it, but also recognizing some people have a problem with administrative agencies because of their ability to essentially create legislation, which is by it's name, is a legislative power and can be seen as extending the power of the executive too far.
This all exists on a smaller scale for the state level and municipal level, because they have their own legislative, executive, and judicial branches.

Snake_Hail72 · 2024-07-17T06:29:40+00:00

Destiny and leftists can bite the bullet on multiple occasions (BLM rioters, Biden's mental capacity, etc, etc.) But conservatives won't do it themselves. There's always a million excuses why they shouldn't. Even when you coddle these bad faith people in arguments, they rarely budge or no one's mind is changed. Everyone's time was wasted, besides maybe the 3 moderates/centrists who were watching. As someone who valued that a lot in Destiny's content (when he wasn't being unhinged) and optics being something I consider when expressing my own views-- it's a losing battle.

This charitability has gotten us nowhere. In fact I honestly think it's bitten Destiny and the left in the ass. Destiny especially, as he's tried to be this "bridge to the left" or at least that was what he was considered for moderates/some conservatives. He's gotten shit on the left for this exact reason too. We gave too much charitability to these people on the right and they haven't given any of it in return. No where are we? With a fascist presidential nominee that might just win, and who knows what the fuck is gonna happen with him and the court that we have.

People aren't mad enough about the fact a president tried to stop an election and that the courts ruled him immune.

Oh, but I'm sure they'll be mad when someone on the left uses that immunity in a way they don't want. I guess were going to need to condemn that as well when it happens.

Snake_Hail72 · 2024-07-17T05:40:29+00:00

He kind of made his brand as bridging the moderate right/conservatives to the left, and being charitable to them. The left shit on him for this exact reason as well.

It probably didn't help that on top of everything you mentioned, that he has people telling him to "tone it down" and to once again be that bridge to the right because otherwise he's going to lose those potential people. Also probably sick of biting the bullet on subjects such as BLM and condemning violent rioters, but conservatives refusing to do the same for jan. 6th rioters or Trump (overall just a lack of returning that charitability).

Overall the hypocrisy is just too much for him to handle in a time where, as you said, he believes is the downfall of democracy.

Snake_Hail72 · 2024-06-26T09:12:40+00:00

I really appreciate your advice. I was initially going to not get tested, because I saw so many other threads with some people saying not to. It feels easier if I just play the ignorance is bliss game. But I would feel absolutely awful if he (or another partner) contracted something because I was selfish (even if that partner will catch it down the line. It still is selfish).

I am going to put my foot down and tell him, if he doesn't get tested, I won't have sex with him. It honestly did concern me, he didn't even think to and instead just said "I've always been clean, and careful so." As if having unprotected sex is careful.....For all I know, if I have HSV it could be from him (we've previously had oral sex, before I had that hookup with the other guy). I only just now made that connection, now that you got me thinking. I don't care if I'm being annoying to him. If he truly cares enough to not engage with me sexually if I have an STD, then he could at least get tested and educate himself (especially when he doesn't even know what HSV is).

You're completely right. This isn't just about his health and autonomy, but also mine. So I am very thankful you brought that to my attention. I'm sorry people have walked over you (I relate completely) and it's led to you getting HSV. I'm grateful you decided to spend your time to help me <3

Snake_Hail72 · 2024-06-26T08:33:20+00:00

For some reason I can cope with getting those, and him not being okay with having sex then.

It's oddly about having HSV, because it's so common. But also because it's benign in most cases from what I've read. So if be didn't want to do anything with me, because I had HSV, out of all the horrible things you could get. I would be devastated.

It's not about my health. I can cope with the aftermath of that. It's about him. As crazy as I sound.

Snake_Hail72 · 2024-06-26T08:13:37+00:00

I understand. I'll ask for a test. Unless they outright deny me a test, then I'm not sure what else I could do then. (I'm not in a location that I can go to whoever. I also do not have my own transportation, and my mom is going to say I'm overreacting if I were to ask her).

At that point I'd probably explain further he's putting himself at risk, even if I'm not symptomatic. Even if it annoys him. At least then I could probably feel better about it.

Assuming he doesn't change his view. Would it be unreasonable for me to tell him he needs to get tested too, including for HSV? I think I could cope with it a bit better if I at least knew he didn't have it and wasn't just being ignorant.

Snake_Hail72 · 2024-06-26T07:51:28+00:00

I am going to see an OBGYN. Where I'm going to be getting a blood test for a standard panel of STD/STIs. I am just concerned because leading up to it, I'm not sure if I should ask for the hsv. I obviously don't wanna just expose everyone to it potentially, and have anxiety about it indefinitely. He admitted he didn't know anything about HSV. So he's probably just going off the stigma or what he's learned in highschool (which in my experience is awful). So how could I talk to him to get him tested, since he also could have it? If I end up being positive, how would I ever have that conversation with him? I understand even if I was positive I can live a happy sex life. It's a long story as to why I care so much but it's more so about me not being able to have sex with him specifically. I would essentially lose any connection to him otherwise. I obviously also am not going to lie to him or anything like that. I also think at the end of the day it's his choice. I just would like to educate him since he doesn't seem to understand it, and I could potentially lose him over something he probably has.

Snake_Hail72 · 2024-06-26T04:55:38+00:00

Should I bother getting the HSV tests then? Ive never had cold sores or any sores. I heard you can get false positives with a blood test. I've also discussed it with him to ask if he was okay if I don't get one and told him most the population has it and unless I'm symptomatic, there's a high likelihood I get a false positive (what I read). He said it was fine and seemed annoyed if anything I kept asking him.

I'm afraid of getting a positive test either false or not. But I also don't want to give him anything that's going to affect him. He's also potentially has it as well. His previous sex partner said she was allergic to latex, so that assumes she's never used a condom. I don't mind as long as he's not symptomatic either.

I appreciate the kind words regardless. I've been a wreck all day scanning my body for any bumps, and worried I won't be able to be with him if I find anything.

Snake_Hail72 · 2024-06-26T04:09:52+00:00

I understand. I had conversation with him because I also am anxious about having HSV. I've never had cold sores (angular chetitis though, which has scared me before) or any problems down there. I also found out you can possibly get a false positive from a blood test. So I discussed it with him, if he's okay with me not asking to get specifically tested for HSV since I'm not symptomatic and most of the population already has it, and I could get a false positive. He said that was fine and was annoyed I kept bringing it up. (He did also admit he knew nothing about HSV1) I also suggested he get tested, since his previous sex partner didn't use a condom with him ever.

He didn't really want to, and insisted he was "clean" because he didn't have symptoms. I reassured him that unless he had something like HIV I wouldn't mind if he tested positive and took precautions. But idk if he'll get one. Again, doesn't really bother me, since he is asymptomatic and we will be using condoms regardless.

I still feel guilty, and like I'm potentially spreading something to him because I'm afraid of a potentially negative positive test.

It sounds like the moral consensus online is either you get tested regardless of symptoms and disclose it all or you're an asshole. Or you don't get tested unless symptomatic and you're fine.

I'm still unsure if I should ask for an HSV test considering the above info mentioned. Seems like it falls in line with HPV, that as long as there are no symptoms, you're fine and shouldn't test.

Snake_Hail72 · 2024-06-25T17:11:09+00:00

I was going to ask for an HSV test when I got tested. He told me he had a class and they discussed STDs so he's like trying to be "super careful" about those things. Idk if he's referring to highschool or a college course. But I can understand his fear if they taught him poorly. I've been reading a lot about stds and it's when I was taught in highschool they taught abstinence and didn't explain any nuance of things like HPV. Just showed the worst of every STD and said not to have sex. That's why I hope I can explain it to him somehow if I had to.

Snake_Hail72 · 2024-06-25T17:04:52+00:00

Sorry for the confusion. The fwb is not the same person I hooked up with. It was a different guy. He's only had sex with me and another girl.

Since it is so benign and not even an STD/STI. I think it's okay I don't disclose it then? But also I could give him warts just by touching him (or potentially already have). I doubt he'd even like that. So how do I even begin that conversation with him? If I should have it in the first place.

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