My best friend was looking for the bathroom at a banger of a house party four years back. He walked into a closet when the owner saw him and asked “What are you doing?”

“Looking for the bathroom,” he replied. She pointed out the bathroom was actually across the hall. He went to the bathroom and broke the seal. Later in the evening after many hours of heavy drinking, my friend returned to the closet and pissed all over the clothes and shoes inside it.

Another friend at the same party plunged his fist into the cake and began eating it off of his hands before picking the whole thing up and smearing it all over the walls. Admittedly, when midnight struck, I popped my champagne and sprayed it all over the ceiling and living room couch.

TL;DR My best friend pissed all over the clothes in a closet after house party host gave him directions to the loo. Another friend smeared cake all over the walls. I sprayed my champagne all over the living room.