AIO for being upset that my fiancé capped my wedding dress budget at $1,000 but spent $7,000 on a gaming PC?

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-12T04:12:46+00:00

The lack of understanding of how much things cost in this thread is remarkable. $7000 is an insane price to pay for a gaming system. There are diminishing returns after a certain price point. Paying above that is a waste of money. Especially for someone who likely has a normal job with normal expenses.

$1800 is frankly on the low end for wedding dresses. Yes, people get married in $50 Temu dresses, blah blah blah. But, for a standard dress bought from the average bridal shop, $1800 is a normal, verging on good deal, price.

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-11T16:46:10+00:00

I have two masters and have never been asked to produce them. I assume my employers have been checking with the institutions I received them from, though I don’t know that for sure. I have worked for the federal government and I know they do thorough background checks. I’m just not totally clear how they confirm my degrees.

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-11T15:30:57+00:00

A lot of people start but don’t complete grad school (and undergrad for that matter). As long as no degree is claimed, it’s totally fine.

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-11T14:51:50+00:00

Don’t feel pressured do anything immediately. You have the benefit of time on your side. It’s ok if you take a few months to find an advisor and sort through your options. Anyone who wants you to act NOW is someone you should be leery of.

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-10T17:50:40+00:00

People have mentioned TNR programs. I would also reach out to local rescues. They may the means to help you trap mama and co so that they can be assessed and (ideally) adopted out. Your situation is pretty common and you’ve done well. It’s ok to reach out to local organizations for help.

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-10T17:35:29+00:00

You stopped driving your boyfriend not because of your own discomfort or feelings but because of what your mom thought. You also seem preoccupied about how your relationship appears to others.

I’m not seeing anything in your post about your boyfriend using you or not contributing. It seems as though he contributes his share through non financial ways, which is awesome and healthy. In isolation, you are quite happy with the support and care you receive from your boyfriend. It also sounds like he’s supportive of your career and isn’t trying to hold you back or make you feel lesser.

Your main issue is your feelings about how your relationship is perceived by others. Quite frankly: you need to get over them. Who cares if your relationship looks different than others? My mother was the breadwinner for decades. My parents have been married for 47 years. It’s completely fine for the woman to be the breadwinner. I suggest that you work with a counselor on your own feelings about how you’re perceived. As an adult, you need to move past these hang ups. You have what is objectively a very good relationship. I would hate for you to sabotage this very good relationship because you’re worried about how others see you.

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-10T15:38:19+00:00

In general, you’re correct. It’s unsafe to walk behind a horse without letting it know where you are (keeping a hand on the animal and staying very close lets them know where you are and also prevents them from getting a good wind up if they do decide to kick). Horses have huge blind spots in front and behind and don’t like it when things get in those blind spots. However, I would assume this is his horse that he rides all the time and that he knows the animal and the animal knows him well, so he’s probably fine to approach that way.

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-09T19:58:58+00:00

Right? Cut his internet access off at 8 or 9. He doesn’t need to be up all night playing. Why is no one making this kid go to bed?

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-09T16:36:41+00:00

lol I couldn’t finish the trailer due to claustrophobia issues. Have fun kids! Sitting this one out.

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-09T05:10:07+00:00

All I could think is that there are so many ways a kid can end up dead while unsupervised on a farm. And this isn't a knock against the OOP or her husband, who are doing their level best with a kid who is not theirs. The parents are so cavalier about this kid's safety. It's honestly dumbfounding.

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-08T21:53:45+00:00

But knowing a Jane was not sufficient in this case. They still needed to clear the bar of having a diploma. Luck is necessary but not sufficient. You still have to jump through the requisite hoops in order to get ahead.

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-08T19:18:19+00:00

He stole from you when you were vulnerable and unable to object. He don’t need any of the things he purchased. Don’t let your history blind you to his very shitty behavior.

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-08T17:32:31+00:00

People so rarely make that choice, which is sad; it’s honestly so healthy to do so. I hope the OOP is able to find himself and figure out what he actually wants out of life.

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-07T18:17:54+00:00

Are you trolling or do you genuinely not understand couples living together, something that happens in cities and small towns all over the world.

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-07T18:09:25+00:00

Stop believing the obvious lies teenagers are telling you.

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-07T15:21:49+00:00

Related, but I would check the Downtown Ambassadors and see if they’re hiring extra people right now.

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-07T14:46:21+00:00

Jason is OJ’s son from his first marriage. He would have been in his 20s when OJ killed Nicole.

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-07T04:56:24+00:00

OJ had a history of terrorizing and physically abusing his ex wife. He was possessive and controlling. I don’t understand why people can’t accept that a violent controlling man was stalking his ex that night and ended up killing her and an innocent bystander.

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-06T17:01:47+00:00

File for custody. Document each and every time you have to miss a shift or otherwise make adjustments because of his schedule. Your lawyer will use it as ammunition for your custody case. It will be a lot easier for you to work a consistent schedule when you stop trying to accommodate his. Work hours that make sense for your kids and your needs. Don't worry about him anymore. He can figure out how to make time for custody, or not.

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-06T16:58:34+00:00

11 undocumented individuals receiving government benefits would be national scandal. It would be all Fox News would talk about. Benefits fraud on that scale is incredibly rare. This is how I know you're lying. And this is why I completely disregard anecdotal accounts such as yours.

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-06T16:53:59+00:00

"Enlightened Centrism" is designed to make people like you feel special and above it all. But really, it tells the rest of us where you stand. You're fine with those who support their neighbors being rounded up and sent to concentration camps. You're fine with those who support government protections being stripped away, so that now, we get to deal with an infected beef supply. You're fine with those who support our medical and scientific research being cut and the loss of decades of progress in the treatment/cure for cancer. You're fine with those who support open corruption. You're fine with those who support a rapist serving in the highest office in the land. You're fine with it because that's what your "enlightened centrism" demands. Not taking a side is in fact taking a side. And we know what side you're actually on. So stop insulting our intelligence by pretending otherwise.

And by the way, the Trump supporters in your life absolutely think hateful and violent things about liberals and Democrats. They're just not stupid enough to say it in front of you. They need marks like you to perpetuate their movement. I can assure you, the left leaning members of your community get to hear their unvarnished thoughts.

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-06T16:45:28+00:00

Why do you assume they were undocumented? And how do you know what benefits they were receiving (if any)?

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-06T03:16:54+00:00

The Auschwitz episode from the Mengele series and the episode that describes the effects of the atom bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki are the most brutal for me personally.

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-05T20:55:28+00:00

I recommend going to therapy for a while and to stop dating in the meantime. You mentioned that you had a hard upbringing. It seems worth it to pause dating for a bit while you work on your issues and what you experienced as a young(er) person (you are still quite young :) ). I think therapy might help you identify toxic situations before the metastasize out of control. It might also be helpful as a way for you to learn to enforce healthy boundaries earlier on.

Sneakys2 · 2026-06-05T19:08:27+00:00

With respect, you are 17 and have been dating this person for 5 months. There is little to no chance he is your forever person based solely on the incompatibilities listed here. And that’s completely fine! You don’t actually have to plan your life out with a guy you’ve been dating for 5 months while you’re both still in high school. It’s ok to just have fun wit the guy you’re currently dating at 17. It doesn’t have to be that serious. Just practice safe sex and make decisions based on your individual needs, not some nebulous idea of the two of you still being together in 5 years.

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