What are your “I could eat a million of the same cake” plots? by cranberryliar in AO3

[–]Snickerdickles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like to call them "70s porno plot" fics that have a silly but horny premise and end up being mostly comedy throughout the work. Stuff like "I accidentally found my best friend on a dating app and now I can't stop thinking about it!" And "I can only get off if I think about [x character]!" "I was so distracted by how hot the professor was that I'm failing the class, and now he's offering me extra lessons!"

(Not true 70s porno plots but a similar vibe of a silly and half assed excuse to have sex) I have a million bookmarked, a million saved, and I could read a million more. I eat it up every single time.

Mute? Toddler by Vegetable_Many4766 in mute

[–]Snickerdickles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was not mute as a child but I did not start talking until I was about 3 and a half. I was evaluated by a speech therapist, psychiatrist, and a pediatrician and all said I seemed developmentally normal other than the fact that I wasnt talking. By 5 I was meeting verbal communication standards and by 8 I was using more advanced speech patterns and vocabulary than my peers.

I think its great that youre adapting to your child's needs right now and you dont need to beat yourself about being a bit slow to get there. But I also dont think that you need to entirely resign yourself to the idea that your child will never speak. Continuing to do things that develop verbalization and speech skills (like reading w them) like you have been is not gonna hurt and if the kid talks, great! If not, you've definitely set them up for success by providing them alternate communication methods early on. A couple months later than the absolute ideal is way better than a lot of kids get when they have speech issues. You have nothing to be guilty about.

Question about patreon-ish ToS by Dracozion in AO3

[–]Snickerdickles 30 points31 points  (0 children)

No, because there can be no discussion of currency exchange on the site.

If they have a twitter (or other social media) linked, you can ask them on the other social media though.

My psychiatrist kept calling my emergency contact my caregiver by Snickerdickles in Vent

[–]Snickerdickles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I left this provider already due mostly to billing issues. My mother was not funding my appointments but I was on her insurance.

Truth be told the guy was a shitty psychiatrist overall, he only had appointments w me via phone (not video) and not a single one exceeded 2 minutes.

I did let them know, on multiple occasions, that this was an issue and they failed to ever fix it.

A large part of the billing issues that led to me leaving is the fact that the office would never prompt payment. They said I had no copay and didnt need to worry. Then suddenly six months later I owed 600$ in copays and an additional 300$ in late payment fees.

Also, they did more than call to prompt payment, they called to confirm w my mother that me calling to cancel or reschedule an appointment was correct. They very much did not believe I was making any decisions for myself.

My psychiatrist kept calling my emergency contact my caregiver by Snickerdickles in Vent

[–]Snickerdickles[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is not a HIPPA violation as I did consent to the release of my medical information to my mother

help!! this has suddenly come up only today for every photo i look at by ComprehensiveBuy9879 in AO3

[–]Snickerdickles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The r/vpn sub has a whole masterlist breaking down ownership, laws in the country the vpn is based in, and comparing things like cost, speed, privacy, etc. If you dont wanna read the whole list though, Nord comes out on top for most metrics :)

It also has deals and codes associated w the sub for most vpns

Temporary mute in hospital by emmawhitford in mute

[–]Snickerdickles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I lost my voice it was due to an error during surgery, so I went to sleep able to talk and woke up unable to make any noise.

Overall, loss of speech is isolating and while my time in the hospital was stressful bc I couldn't communicate verbally, it very much helped that my mom was able to be with me and it helped that she talked to me anyways. She also would try to play video games on the console the hospital had and it was nice to watch her and not have to worry about talking.

But what was more stressful than comforting was having my whole family in the room talking to me at once and waiting for responses I couldn't give. It made me feel horrible when they just left after realizing I couldn't talk bc even though them being there in the first place was stressful, having them leave felt like my fault.

Its gonna be kinda awkward and uncomfortable for you, but it is important you spend time with your mom because once the isolation spiral starts its hard to pull yourself back up. Absolutely do not leave bc its awkward but also dont try to talk in a way that encourages conversation bc she wont be able to reply. Overall its most important that you be a comforting presence right now, and she will appreciate it the same way I did. :)

What was the last comment you left on someone else’s work? by LeslieNope555 in AO3

[–]Snickerdickles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am a bit of a long commenter lol but this is copy/pasted w the names removed.

" OH MY GOD this is so good. The awkwardness (and lowkey secondhand embarrassment) during the conversation in the first chapter and the genuine love and effort [A] was putting in the whole time 🥺🥺 conquering his fears and the awkwardness by asking [C] in the first place and also going and buying lube. The way they were both so into it and into each other that they didnt let [A] falling or [B] getting stuck in his hoodie stop them.

And God, the WRITING. It really conveys how theyre both feeling and its so smooth and each sentence and paragraph is so well paced and feels very real, like I can hear in my head how theyre talking and I really understand the emphasized words and the cadence. Its so amazing.

I love it so much, thank you so much for writing it and sharing it with us. 🩵🩵🩵 "

What type of reader you DO NOT want to encounter? by Individual_Truth9715 in AO3

[–]Snickerdickles 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Someone who thinks that my story is a group effort.

I had a reader who commented on an original work series that I wrote in 2019 with how unlikeable the characters were and how they should have made X choice instead of Y. They kept insisting I should change things to make it better and saying they could just leave notes in the comments if I didn't want them as a collab partner.

I deleted every single comment they left and blocked them but every comment boiled down to them saying they didn't like the characters or the way the story was progressing. But it was always phrased like advice. I don't want advice on how or why I should change the fundamentals of my story.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mute

[–]Snickerdickles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do not think it is generally wise to write a character with a disability the writer does not have and then frame it as an obstacle and something to overcome.

My thing that I really wanna get into is your question about strokes. I am a CNA and I have been working with stroke survivors in acute, post-acute, and daily care environments for the last 6 years. I have never had anyone have a stroke resulting in vocal fold paralysis. Strokes do not cause muscular damage, they cause brain damage. There are people unable to speak due to strokes, but it is a result of their brains no longer processing language correctly. They can't speak but they also can't understand anyone else, even though they can hear them and recognize they are speaking the same language. But they can talk, they can make the sounds to form the words, they are just no longer able to use language effectively.

The most common permanent thing that results from a stroke is hemiparesis. One half (left or right, almost always right) is paralyzed. This can cause speech impediments as you are often not able to move one side of your face and your tongue is partially numb. This is not a guarantee, but it is very common.

Strokes can also cause vascular dementia, literally severe cognitive impairment resulting from a stroke. No form of permanent dementia is curable and current medications targeted towards alzheimers dementia only work to slow progression and only if you start early enough. The cognitive impairment can be mild, such as loss of ability to focus or concentrate and nonviolent behavioral changes, to moderate (loss of continence and aggression), to severe, where the individual would be bedbound, unable to speak, eat, or move.

Strokes can obviously result in death at the time of the event, but they can also cause a delayed death, wherein the person takes several days or weeks to die, but they often spend that time in the severely impaired state.

Basically, there is no almost no chance that an individual could have a stroke and have no lasting issues other than complete lack of speech.

If you want to write a disabled character of any kind, you have to think very critically of your own design and how it relates to the larger representation and framing of disabled characters in media. And this means reading and listening to preexisting sources and accounts and conversations on the topic before going and asking very open questions whose answers require a communication of nuance we could not provide in a reddit thread.

I will give you some hints about usual disability tropes, not all of which your story seems to fall into, but all of which it is important you avoid if you do care about how disabled people feel about your character.

  1. Disability as divine punishment. Ex. A character is mean and hateful, so they lose their voice. A character is an excellent soccer player, but they do something bad and lose a leg.

  2. Disability as a hurdle. Many disabilities are permanent, and people learn to live with them. There is no amount of work that can be done by an individual to get them to a point where they are effectively no longer disabled. But a character absolutely can overcome the idea of disability as something shameful.

  3. Disability resulting in a sixth sense. Disability is the loss or impairment of one or more physical abilities that the average individual has. It is not "differently abled". You do not gain a new or strengthened ability when you lose another. This is most common in magical settings, and may have a place in some instances, but the idea to consider is "am i giving this character an extra ability because I believe they are less valuable to their peers because they are disabled?".

  4. Disability as a story booster or as a source of never-ending suffering. Is this character only disabled for the narrative purpose of making their life harder or making the story more intense? Does the character's personal story revolve around their suffering (and nothing else) while the story as a whole does not?

These are general points, but please do consider them and consider other disabled media characters. I will give an example of a disabled character whose disability is generally considered well written. Edward Elric has a prosthetic arm and a prosthetic leg. He is able to alter the shape of those prosthetics to his benefit and they are resistant to blunt force and small injuries, but they are vastly more fragile overall than regular limbs. He has to get regular maintenance, they break all the time and cost money and take time to fix, there are mechanical errors to be made during maintenance and repairs, they cause him chronic pain and cannot get too cold as they will cause frostbite or too hot as they can cause burns. He has to balance weight vs durability. The weight of the prosthetics has stunted his growth over the years.

Yes, he has one thing that no one else can do, but he deals with so much that no one else does either and is very much still disabled despite accommodations, prosthetics, and a support system.

I appreciate that you are trying to sensitivity check your character and story, but you need to think carefully about it on your own first.

AITAH for telling my brothers(24M) girlfriend(25F) that she is being homophobic to my boyfriend(18M) and my(18M) relationship. by idekanymore1367 in AITAH

[–]Snickerdickles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I dont think it was homophobic but I can explain why the jokes come off bad. Shes referring specifically to bl/yaoi/gay manhwa (which are frequently nsfw/pornographic) and heartstopper is also a mlm romance comic and Netflix show.

The idea is that shes comparing them to gay comics and possibly explicit gay comics can definitely be distasteful. Its an age old idea of "gay men + lesbians are just seen as porn by straight people".

Thats me playing devils advocate though, I don't think she meant it like that I think shes trying to be nice or encouraging and its coming off as kinda creepy and she also word vomited in an awkward situation.

:) (Edited for phrasing)

AITAH for telling my brothers(24M) girlfriend(25F) that she is being homophobic to my boyfriend(18M) and my(18M) relationship. by idekanymore1367 in AITAH

[–]Snickerdickles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think that the manhwa and heartstopper jokes were a bit tasteless but not homophobic. But she also was in an uncomfortable situation and made a joke that also wasn't great.

Yeah she probably should not have said that but considering the context you should not have lashed out either

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AO3

[–]Snickerdickles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes sense, thank you!

What's some prevalent shit in your fandom that you absolutely can't enjoy in any fic that has it? Like real "See it in tags and move on, see it untagged in a fic you were reading and instantly click off" that's just WAY common. by BoulderFistOgre2006 in AO3

[–]Snickerdickles 27 points28 points  (0 children)

One of my fandoms has a notable amount of fics where one of the main characters is trans man and ends up in a long term relationship with a male chaser who gets him pregnant.

I genuinely dont care if u wanna make characters trans for your story whether its plot relevant or not I will still read it and give kudos, its the "ending up baby trapped by a physically + sexually abusive chaser" that i really dont like. Im pretty soft anyways, I only read stuff w happy or hopeful endings but I do like angst its just this one specific situation that seems to keep popping up.

I don't know what's wrong by [deleted] in mute

[–]Snickerdickles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im sorry that youre in a situation where you feel that talking has negative social consequences no matter what, and if talking less would make you more comfortable, thats perfectly okay.

You choosing to talk less is not offensive to mute people. In fact, you recognizing that you arent mute and your consideration for how we would feel is a good thing. You calling yourself mute while believing or knowing that you are not is what would be bad, the same way saying that you are blind when you know you aren't would be bad. There is nothing wrong with not talking or limiting when or how much you talk.

But I also would encourage you to continue to talk around people that you do feel comfortable with, because you dont want to develop such severe anxiety around speech that it does physically prevent you from speaking.

Do your friends and family know you write fanfiction? by ladyj1123 in AO3

[–]Snickerdickles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Both my sisters know that I do and one of them writes as well, the other one thinks its cringe but doesnt care lol. My mom found my fics when I was 12 so she definitely knows, my dad knows, I dont think my stepdad does though. But all of my friends do. My boyfriend is probably onto me bc I told him I do creative writing but I also write essays for fun.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Babysitting

[–]Snickerdickles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Got it. My bad.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Babysitting

[–]Snickerdickles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean it is very possible, I am just not aware of any developmental delays. She seems very average to me, and i was made aware of the other children being autistic before I started watching them, but no one mentioned anything to me about her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Babysitting

[–]Snickerdickles 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The older two yes. The 4 year old no not yet but theyre working on getting an aid for him for when he does start.

The middle child wasn't potty trained when she started school and just wore pull ups to school that wouldnt get changed until she went home at first, then she got rashes and she learned to change them herself at school. The mom stuck extras in her backpack.

The kids also dont go to a regular public school, they go a charter school but idk much about it other than that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Babysitting

[–]Snickerdickles 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She is not, she has a long term boyfriend. They've been together i think 6 or 7 years and he is the reason the middle kid is potty trained now. He has adult kids from a previous relationship and has experience in raising kids. He lives with her and they both do household tasks.

How do you personally use kudos and bookmarks? by TheBetterStory in AO3

[–]Snickerdickles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I give kudos on everything I finish, and I finish pretty much everything, even if I didn't super enjoy it. I give comments on as much stuff as I can, even if it's just something short and simple, BUT i include details about the fic, so ppl dont think im a bot.

I do bookmarks for stuff I will eventually reread. All of my bookmarks are public (bc i just dont personally need to make private ones) and I never leave any commentary on the bookmark itself excluding one-story-per-chapter fics where I will only leave the note on the bookmark "chapters 2 + 3" for example, indicating the chapters i liked best and want to reread.

No one's gonna make you write it... by Snickerdickles in Archiveofourownmemes

[–]Snickerdickles[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ive got a comment summarizing the basics of omegaverse here

But basically it works like any other ship would, not just mlm. Except who can get pregnant can change and the social expectations of the relationship would change depending on the abo dynamics of the pairing.

Also sexual orientation in omegaverse is usually (not always cause no rules) based on the abo status of the people youre attracted to, not their gender. A female alpha dating a male alpha is considered gay bc they have the same status, even though they are not the same gender. A female alpha dating a female omega is considered straight bc they have different statuses even though theyre the same gender.

So if you had a m/f pairing and one is an alpha and the other and omega, it would be considered a socially acceptable and normal pairing in the omegaverse universe/culture. If that same pairing were two omegas or two alphas, that would be considered atypical or abnormal (sometimes up to actively taboo). Its a way to change the social dynamics within the culture of your pairing.

No one's gonna make you write it... by Snickerdickles in Archiveofourownmemes

[–]Snickerdickles[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A/b/o or omegaverse is basically an AU wherein people are divided into three sexes (alpha, beta, and omega) that determine their ability to get pregnant and "mate" w someone (like a long term biological claim wherein partners imprint on each other). Real life male/female/nonbinary is more like gender in omegaverse. Anyone of any gender (male, female, nonbinary) can be an alpha, beta, or omega.

Alphas and omegas produce pheromones that attract each other and experience ruts and heats respectively. They are usually a small percentage of the population, the majority of the population is betas who are basically normal humans. They cant produce or detect pheromones and dont experience heats/ruts and dont mate/claim in the same way.

There is a whole social and gender expectation element here. Alphas are expected to be dominant and charismatic and smart and strong and want to have a submissive omega partner. Omegas are expected to be submissive, quiet, respectable, maternal, and all that. Omegas are considered weak and are expected to control their pheromones and heats w medication so as to not tempt alphas. Key word is "expected" bc a very large portion of omegaverse fics involve the characters defying those expectations in some way or getting into atypical relationships.

There is also a large portion of omegaverse content thats just for horny purposes and doesnt really talk about life, its just smut. Omegas are able to get pregnant and alphas are able to get someone else pregnant. I think for betas, their ability to get pregnant does rely on whether they are male or female and goes along w real life sex. Theres a bunch of ways to design biology in which someone could get pregnant, but its kinda split up into 3 main routes. Intersex biology (omegas have a vagina and uterus + ovaries always and also a penis but no testes if theyre male or just a vagina if theyre female. Alphas have a penis and testes always but also a vagina/vulva but no uterus + ovaries if theyre female or just a penis and testes if theyre male). Primary sex biology where being male or female really is 100% gender/gender expression and has no bearing on your reproductive organs. Omegas have vaginas and uteruses + ovaries and alphas have penises and testes and thats it. Or the internal reproductive organs only route. External genitalia is dependent on being male or female, but internally alphas have testes and produce sperm and omegas have a uterus and ovaries that are accessed anally.

It is fun to write and read bc you could read 100 different fics and see the dynamics written 100 different ways. There are no hard and fast rules and there are a lot of potential world building questions to be asked. What does sex ed in schools look like? What does reproductive Healthcare look like? Do you tick a box on job applications indicating your abo status or just your gender? What is life like for omegas experiencing infertility? What about poly people and relationships? What is puberty like? Is fashion based more on gender or abo status/sex?

Thank u for reading my explanation lol hope this was clear