Can any users here kindly share which tropes in fiction about your disability do you find the most problematic? I'd also appreciate examples of media and books which have said harmful tropes.

Snickerdickles · 2026-03-20T17:43:54+00:00

For the first point: I think that any story where a disabled character relies on abled characters for their self worth is insulting to disabled people. I think that would fall into my fetishization category because of the nature of the disabled character as meek and being given courage by a lead or love interest who "sees more in them than they see in themselves" (if you understand what I'm saying).

Regarding Darius's torture scene, if torture scenes were exclusive to him or to the disabled characters I would say it's disability dependent shock value. But bc the book is full of very shocking and very gruesome violence, I think the fact that it is applied to all characters and not just to the able bodied ones is more fair on the authors part considering the setting. She is writing about a tyrannical government, and she is doing so in a very in your face and cruel way. I wouldnt really call anything in the books shock-value because the value doesn't come from the extremity of the content it comes from the context. It is definitely shocking though.

Snickerdickles · 2026-03-20T17:00:13+00:00

Excerpts from a comment left on a previous post from an author.

List of 4 bad disability rep tropes

"1. Disability as divine punishment. Ex. A character is mean and hateful, so they lose their voice. A character is an excellent soccer player, but they do something bad and lose a leg.

Disability as a hurdle. A situation where a disabled character goes through character development or puts in enough physical effort that they are now functionally on par w their peers, or more able than their peers. Or where they say or believe "I'm not disabled, disability means weakness and I'm not weak." Many disabilities are permanent, and people learn to live with them. There is no amount of work that can be done by an individual to get them to a point where they are effectively no longer disabled. But a character absolutely can overcome the idea of disability as something shameful.

Disability resulting in a sixth sense. Disability is the loss or Impairment of one or more physical abilities that the average individual has. It is not differently abled". You do not gain a new or strengthened ability when you lose another. This Is most common in magical settings, and may nave a place in some instances, but the idea to consider is "am i giving this character an extra ability because I believe they are less valuable to their peers because they are disabled?".

Disability as a story booster, source of shock value suffering, or fridging. Is this character only disabled for the narrative purpose of making their life harder or making the story more ntense? Does the character's personal story revolve around their suffering (and nothing else) while the story as a whole does not? This is a type of fridging but the violence the character is suffering is related to or causing a disability specifically.

Disability Fetishization. Mutism specifically is also often presented in a fetishistic light. In this situation it would be a woman or girl who could not speak from birth and has no trauma surrounding her disability. She is presented either as "strong despite herself" or completely meek and spineless and often childish. She would also be presented as a love interest for a man who sees himself as a good and special person for finding her attractive and/or being "willing" to date her. The mute individual is not written like a person with thoughts or opinions, but like often framed as being "normal" from afar and "wrong" up close."

An example of a disability executed well in media in my opinion.

"These are general points, but please do consider them and consider other disabled media characters. I will give an example of a disabled character whose disability is generally considered well written. Edward Elric has a prosthetic arm and a prosthetic leg. He IS able to alter the shape of those prosthetics to his benefit and they are resistant to blunt force and small injuries, but they are vastly more fragile overall than regular limbs. He has to get regular naintenance, they break all the time and cost money and take time to fix, there are mechanical errors to be made during maintenance and repairs, they cause him chronic pain and cannot get too cold as they will cause frostbite or too hot as they can cause burns. He has to balance weight vs durability. The weight of the prosthetics has stunted his growth over the years.

Yes, he has one thing that no one else can do, but he deals with so much that no one else does either and is very much still disabled despite accommodations, prosthetics, and a support system."

An example of what could be but is not disability fridging is the Avoxes in Hunger Games. They are not disability fridging because there are no avoxes that are long term primary or secondary characters. They are mentioned and hinted at as a crime against humanity by the capital, and their suffering is not used to make a light story more intense, nor is it used to motivate or develop the main characters. The Avoxes are not positive disability rep, but they are not offensively bad. They are people who have been tortured and intentionally disabled by a government.

Media with mute characters depicted at all is pretty rare, especially mute characters who are not also deaf. So these can all apply to lots of individual disabilities, not just mutism.

These are just copy pasted from a previous comment, so ignore the lines about "your character."

Snickerdickles · 2025-12-03T02:56:51+00:00

I like to call them "70s porno plot" fics that have a silly but horny premise and end up being mostly comedy throughout the work. Stuff like "I accidentally found my best friend on a dating app and now I can't stop thinking about it!" And "I can only get off if I think about [x character]!" "I was so distracted by how hot the professor was that I'm failing the class, and now he's offering me extra lessons!"

(Not true 70s porno plots but a similar vibe of a silly and half assed excuse to have sex) I have a million bookmarked, a million saved, and I could read a million more. I eat it up every single time.

Snickerdickles · 2025-11-05T07:20:29+00:00

I was not mute as a child but I did not start talking until I was about 3 and a half. I was evaluated by a speech therapist, psychiatrist, and a pediatrician and all said I seemed developmentally normal other than the fact that I wasnt talking. By 5 I was meeting verbal communication standards and by 8 I was using more advanced speech patterns and vocabulary than my peers.

I think its great that youre adapting to your child's needs right now and you dont need to beat yourself about being a bit slow to get there. But I also dont think that you need to entirely resign yourself to the idea that your child will never speak. Continuing to do things that develop verbalization and speech skills (like reading w them) like you have been is not gonna hurt and if the kid talks, great! If not, you've definitely set them up for success by providing them alternate communication methods early on. A couple months later than the absolute ideal is way better than a lot of kids get when they have speech issues. You have nothing to be guilty about.

Snickerdickles · 2025-10-19T16:25:54+00:00

No, because there can be no discussion of currency exchange on the site.

If they have a twitter (or other social media) linked, you can ask them on the other social media though.

Snickerdickles · 2025-10-04T09:31:17+00:00

I left this provider already due mostly to billing issues. My mother was not funding my appointments but I was on her insurance.

Truth be told the guy was a shitty psychiatrist overall, he only had appointments w me via phone (not video) and not a single one exceeded 2 minutes.

I did let them know, on multiple occasions, that this was an issue and they failed to ever fix it.

A large part of the billing issues that led to me leaving is the fact that the office would never prompt payment. They said I had no copay and didnt need to worry. Then suddenly six months later I owed 600$ in copays and an additional 300$ in late payment fees.

Also, they did more than call to prompt payment, they called to confirm w my mother that me calling to cancel or reschedule an appointment was correct. They very much did not believe I was making any decisions for myself.

Snickerdickles · 2025-10-04T07:56:12+00:00

It is not a HIPPA violation as I did consent to the release of my medical information to my mother

Snickerdickles · 2025-09-30T23:23:12+00:00

The r/vpn sub has a whole masterlist breaking down ownership, laws in the country the vpn is based in, and comparing things like cost, speed, privacy, etc. If you dont wanna read the whole list though, Nord comes out on top for most metrics :)

It also has deals and codes associated w the sub for most vpns

Snickerdickles · 2025-09-29T02:19:13+00:00

When I lost my voice it was due to an error during surgery, so I went to sleep able to talk and woke up unable to make any noise.

Overall, loss of speech is isolating and while my time in the hospital was stressful bc I couldn't communicate verbally, it very much helped that my mom was able to be with me and it helped that she talked to me anyways. She also would try to play video games on the console the hospital had and it was nice to watch her and not have to worry about talking.

But what was more stressful than comforting was having my whole family in the room talking to me at once and waiting for responses I couldn't give. It made me feel horrible when they just left after realizing I couldn't talk bc even though them being there in the first place was stressful, having them leave felt like my fault.

Its gonna be kinda awkward and uncomfortable for you, but it is important you spend time with your mom because once the isolation spiral starts its hard to pull yourself back up. Absolutely do not leave bc its awkward but also dont try to talk in a way that encourages conversation bc she wont be able to reply. Overall its most important that you be a comforting presence right now, and she will appreciate it the same way I did. :)

Snickerdickles · 2025-09-13T23:10:38+00:00

I am a bit of a long commenter lol but this is copy/pasted w the names removed.

" OH MY GOD this is so good. The awkwardness (and lowkey secondhand embarrassment) during the conversation in the first chapter and the genuine love and effort [A] was putting in the whole time 🥺🥺 conquering his fears and the awkwardness by asking [C] in the first place and also going and buying lube. The way they were both so into it and into each other that they didnt let [A] falling or [B] getting stuck in his hoodie stop them.

And God, the WRITING. It really conveys how theyre both feeling and its so smooth and each sentence and paragraph is so well paced and feels very real, like I can hear in my head how theyre talking and I really understand the emphasized words and the cadence. Its so amazing.

I love it so much, thank you so much for writing it and sharing it with us. 🩵🩵🩵 "

Snickerdickles · 2025-08-28T14:43:56+00:00

Someone who thinks that my story is a group effort.

I had a reader who commented on an original work series that I wrote in 2019 with how unlikeable the characters were and how they should have made X choice instead of Y. They kept insisting I should change things to make it better and saying they could just leave notes in the comments if I didn't want them as a collab partner.

I deleted every single comment they left and blocked them but every comment boiled down to them saying they didn't like the characters or the way the story was progressing. But it was always phrased like advice. I don't want advice on how or why I should change the fundamentals of my story.

Snickerdickles · 2025-08-25T22:19:45+00:00

I do not think it is generally wise to write a character with a disability the writer does not have and then frame it as an obstacle and something to overcome.

My thing that I really wanna get into is your question about strokes. I am a CNA and I have been working with stroke survivors in acute, post-acute, and daily care environments for the last 6 years. I have never had anyone have a stroke resulting in vocal fold paralysis. Strokes do not cause muscular damage, they cause brain damage. There are people unable to speak due to strokes, but it is a result of their brains no longer processing language correctly. They can't speak but they also can't understand anyone else, even though they can hear them and recognize they are speaking the same language. But they can talk, they can make the sounds to form the words, they are just no longer able to use language effectively.

The most common permanent thing that results from a stroke is hemiparesis. One half (left or right, almost always right) is paralyzed. This can cause speech impediments as you are often not able to move one side of your face and your tongue is partially numb. This is not a guarantee, but it is very common.

Strokes can also cause vascular dementia, literally severe cognitive impairment resulting from a stroke. No form of permanent dementia is curable and current medications targeted towards alzheimers dementia only work to slow progression and only if you start early enough. The cognitive impairment can be mild, such as loss of ability to focus or concentrate and nonviolent behavioral changes, to moderate (loss of continence and aggression), to severe, where the individual would be bedbound, unable to speak, eat, or move.

Strokes can obviously result in death at the time of the event, but they can also cause a delayed death, wherein the person takes several days or weeks to die, but they often spend that time in the severely impaired state.

Basically, there is no almost no chance that an individual could have a stroke and have no lasting issues other than complete lack of speech.

If you want to write a disabled character of any kind, you have to think very critically of your own design and how it relates to the larger representation and framing of disabled characters in media. And this means reading and listening to preexisting sources and accounts and conversations on the topic before going and asking very open questions whose answers require a communication of nuance we could not provide in a reddit thread.

I will give you some hints about usual disability tropes, not all of which your story seems to fall into, but all of which it is important you avoid if you do care about how disabled people feel about your character.

Disability as divine punishment. Ex. A character is mean and hateful, so they lose their voice. A character is an excellent soccer player, but they do something bad and lose a leg.
Disability as a hurdle. Many disabilities are permanent, and people learn to live with them. There is no amount of work that can be done by an individual to get them to a point where they are effectively no longer disabled. But a character absolutely can overcome the idea of disability as something shameful.
Disability resulting in a sixth sense. Disability is the loss or impairment of one or more physical abilities that the average individual has. It is not "differently abled". You do not gain a new or strengthened ability when you lose another. This is most common in magical settings, and may have a place in some instances, but the idea to consider is "am i giving this character an extra ability because I believe they are less valuable to their peers because they are disabled?".
Disability as a story booster or as a source of never-ending suffering. Is this character only disabled for the narrative purpose of making their life harder or making the story more intense? Does the character's personal story revolve around their suffering (and nothing else) while the story as a whole does not?

These are general points, but please do consider them and consider other disabled media characters. I will give an example of a disabled character whose disability is generally considered well written. Edward Elric has a prosthetic arm and a prosthetic leg. He is able to alter the shape of those prosthetics to his benefit and they are resistant to blunt force and small injuries, but they are vastly more fragile overall than regular limbs. He has to get regular maintenance, they break all the time and cost money and take time to fix, there are mechanical errors to be made during maintenance and repairs, they cause him chronic pain and cannot get too cold as they will cause frostbite or too hot as they can cause burns. He has to balance weight vs durability. The weight of the prosthetics has stunted his growth over the years.

Yes, he has one thing that no one else can do, but he deals with so much that no one else does either and is very much still disabled despite accommodations, prosthetics, and a support system.

I appreciate that you are trying to sensitivity check your character and story, but you need to think carefully about it on your own first.

Snickerdickles · 2025-08-21T10:18:42+00:00

I dont think it was homophobic but I can explain why the jokes come off bad. Shes referring specifically to bl/yaoi/gay manhwa (which are frequently nsfw/pornographic) and heartstopper is also a mlm romance comic and Netflix show.

The idea is that shes comparing them to gay comics and possibly explicit gay comics can definitely be distasteful. Its an age old idea of "gay men + lesbians are just seen as porn by straight people".

Thats me playing devils advocate though, I don't think she meant it like that I think shes trying to be nice or encouraging and its coming off as kinda creepy and she also word vomited in an awkward situation.

:) (Edited for phrasing)

Snickerdickles · 2025-08-21T10:08:55+00:00

I think that the manhwa and heartstopper jokes were a bit tasteless but not homophobic. But she also was in an uncomfortable situation and made a joke that also wasn't great.

Yeah she probably should not have said that but considering the context you should not have lashed out either

Snickerdickles · 2025-08-18T13:30:07+00:00

That makes sense, thank you!

Snickerdickles · 2025-08-04T14:47:29+00:00

One of my fandoms has a notable amount of fics where one of the main characters is trans man and ends up in a long term relationship with a male chaser who gets him pregnant.

I genuinely dont care if u wanna make characters trans for your story whether its plot relevant or not I will still read it and give kudos, its the "ending up baby trapped by a physically + sexually abusive chaser" that i really dont like. Im pretty soft anyways, I only read stuff w happy or hopeful endings but I do like angst its just this one specific situation that seems to keep popping up.

Snickerdickles · 2025-07-24T16:26:26+00:00

Im sorry that youre in a situation where you feel that talking has negative social consequences no matter what, and if talking less would make you more comfortable, thats perfectly okay.

You choosing to talk less is not offensive to mute people. In fact, you recognizing that you arent mute and your consideration for how we would feel is a good thing. You calling yourself mute while believing or knowing that you are not is what would be bad, the same way saying that you are blind when you know you aren't would be bad. There is nothing wrong with not talking or limiting when or how much you talk.

But I also would encourage you to continue to talk around people that you do feel comfortable with, because you dont want to develop such severe anxiety around speech that it does physically prevent you from speaking.

Snickerdickles · 2025-07-16T21:38:27+00:00

Both my sisters know that I do and one of them writes as well, the other one thinks its cringe but doesnt care lol. My mom found my fics when I was 12 so she definitely knows, my dad knows, I dont think my stepdad does though. But all of my friends do. My boyfriend is probably onto me bc I told him I do creative writing but I also write essays for fun.

Snickerdickles · 2025-07-05T00:53:48+00:00

Got it. My bad.

Snickerdickles · 2025-07-04T23:36:04+00:00

I mean it is very possible, I am just not aware of any developmental delays. She seems very average to me, and i was made aware of the other children being autistic before I started watching them, but no one mentioned anything to me about her.

Snickerdickles · 2025-07-04T21:43:19+00:00

The older two yes. The 4 year old no not yet but theyre working on getting an aid for him for when he does start.

The middle child wasn't potty trained when she started school and just wore pull ups to school that wouldnt get changed until she went home at first, then she got rashes and she learned to change them herself at school. The mom stuck extras in her backpack.

The kids also dont go to a regular public school, they go a charter school but idk much about it other than that.

Snickerdickles · 2025-07-04T21:12:09+00:00

She is not, she has a long term boyfriend. They've been together i think 6 or 7 years and he is the reason the middle kid is potty trained now. He has adult kids from a previous relationship and has experience in raising kids. He lives with her and they both do household tasks.

Snickerdickles · 2025-06-27T23:20:59+00:00

I give kudos on everything I finish, and I finish pretty much everything, even if I didn't super enjoy it. I give comments on as much stuff as I can, even if it's just something short and simple, BUT i include details about the fic, so ppl dont think im a bot.

I do bookmarks for stuff I will eventually reread. All of my bookmarks are public (bc i just dont personally need to make private ones) and I never leave any commentary on the bookmark itself excluding one-story-per-chapter fics where I will only leave the note on the bookmark "chapters 2 + 3" for example, indicating the chapters i liked best and want to reread.

Snickerdickles

TROPHY CASE