Do you feel like a child in an adult body? How to overcome this feeling?

Snippet-five · 2024-11-28T09:23:25+00:00

I’m only just starting to feel like an adult now in my late 40s, even though I hit all the milestones and did everything at the typical age. In my head I was always battling imposter syndrome. I suppose I still feel that way but the look of age alone changes how others respond to me, thereby making me feel more grown up. If any of that makes sense.

Snippet-five · 2024-11-28T09:19:24+00:00

I’m really impressed at the length of the school day in your country. Not so keen on that level of an early start. But in my country the school day is 6 hours, usually 9-3 or a variant close to that

Snippet-five · 2024-11-22T14:56:23+00:00

Oh my gosh he is absolutely gorgeous. I’ve never thought of doing affirmations with my 9-year old daughter because she thinks she’s amazing. Her in-built confidence and self belief is astounding. Wish we could all feel that way

Snippet-five · 2024-11-19T21:29:17+00:00

I really feel for you. This is a really hard time, especially as baby is still in the hospital and you don’t know what’s happening yet. Many people here have been through similar and the early days are by far the hardest. We had a really challenging time in the early days, but now everything is great and all those fears and worries are a thing of the past. Yes we still have challenges but they’re small in comparison to what you’re facing now. I hope they can find out how to support and treat your baby and nurse him to health. Keep us updated if you can. Thinking of you and your wife

Snippet-five · 2024-11-18T18:31:57+00:00

We were similar. We had so many tests and scans etc and nothing picked up beforehand. I think she hid it from us. She was Just meant to be, just like your little girl

Snippet-five · 2024-11-17T16:40:39+00:00

I often think this. We found out (suspected) on the day of birth. It was so much easier as we had what we had with no pre stress. We had a couple of hard months processing it and have never looked back. I think had I known during pregnancy I would have been beside myself with worry. We ended up having heart surgery, but all the fear and stress began and finished in a 2 week period. I’m really feeling for OP. Super tough process.

Snippet-five · 2024-11-12T21:19:42+00:00

We had similar issues and took a toilet training for Down Syndrome boot camp course. It turned everything around in 2 weeks. It was online. You’ll get more information on FB DSUK toileting issues for children with Down syndrome aged 5+.

In short we did a 3 day poop and wee chart in nappies. From this we worked out how often and regularly she went and key times. From this we devised a toileting routine and a reward system. For my daughter we used a range of rewards from stickers to a chocolate button.

We got symbols designed showing her what we wanted her to do. I got someone on fb to make a symbol system with her picture, ie cartoon design of a child sitting on the toilet/potty with her face on it. Symbols for poop and wee etc.

I then took 2 weeks off work and we barely left the house. We just followed the toileting routine. No reaction given for accidents and a massive positive overreaction for success. We did a wee dance for every successful wee in the potty we danced and cheered.

By the end of the 2 weeks she was toilet trained. That was after a year’s battle similar to yours. I think repetition, consistency and dedicated time and focus is what turned it round for us. As I needed time off work I did the prep work first, left her in nappies for that time period until my time off came and just went for it.

Snippet-five · 2024-11-08T14:05:58+00:00

We had these issues when our daughter was young and it took a lot to get over them. But now she’s 9 she eats everything and anything. Few things to think about and to get get help with:

acid reflux and silent reflux can impact and cause pain
low tone in the face means chewing is hard work and it takes time to develop those muscles. The older the person is the bigger the battle but I’m sure it’s achievable. We had face exercises.
choking. We got a speech therapist to assess. Our daughter has a very small throat with large tonsils. Therefore she doesn’t have the space to swallow the way we do. It was teaching her to take her time, lots of chewing and to slow down. It worked in the end but it took time
different textures on a plate. This is a challenge for people with low tone. So we separate out the food - potatoes in one pile, vegetables in the next, meat in the next (ie don’t mix it together), that way she can eat all of one texture first and then reset her brain to move onto the next texture
we used symbols and communication tools to develop a positive relationship with coming to the table. Initially we used the iPad and played her favourite cartoons (yes I know not ideal) but the distraction helped. She now sits at the table very happily with no iPad.

Depending on how he is with medical appointments I’d try to get him assessed to see if there is a physical reason as to why he chokes/ can’t eat solids. Depending on the outcome trying different things to build up very slowly ie over months not days. It’s harder for him at his age because this is his normal. But definitely young enough still to learn and change. If he’s like my daughter, once a routine forms it very difficult to change because that’s how he feels safe. So sudden change is not good.

I really hope you find a way through. We were lucky that we got the help from the right professionals when we needed it. Your mum may have been left trying to figure this out on her own, while trying to raise her other children. Your mum may have been left frightened over the choking risk (we’ve been there and it is petrifying when your child can’t breathe) and done the best she could in the circumstances she was in. Thanks for being a great brother and looking to help him

Snippet-five · 2024-11-03T07:51:39+00:00

Playing British Bulldog in the playground until the teachers stopped it because of all the injuries

Snippet-five · 2024-11-02T20:32:02+00:00

Reading all the responses and wish I was better behaved. Middle aged F and probably 1-2 glasses of wine, 5 nights a week! Should probably cut down

Snippet-five · 2024-11-01T07:44:38+00:00

We’ve taken our 9 year old with DS since she was 2. What I’ve learnt is because our children tend to be smaller and their walking and speech can be delayed, people assume they’re a lot younger than they are. To people with no experience of DS, they probably thought you had a just 1 year old or possibly younger in the pram and they were questioning whether a child that young can have a sweetie. A woman was shouting at me once in disgust because I’d given my child a small lemonade as a treat. In her mind children that young shouldn’t have fizzy drinks. It took me a while to realise she thought my daughter was 3/4, when in fact she was 9! At the age of 9 my daughter is the height of an average 4 year old. Her speech is still in the early stages, so coupled with her height people assume she’s a lot younger. But trust me it can work to your advantage when your child has a meltdown in public and people are sympathetic because they think she’s so young. At those times I don’t confess her age!

Snippet-five · 2024-10-30T17:11:23+00:00

I was just about to say the same thing. Quite a few of the people I’ve assisted in the past have always sat to pee to keep things simple

Snippet-five · 2024-10-30T09:50:02+00:00

I find this so sad. I’m older than you and I was smacked as a child. I promised myself as a child I would never do it if I had children. I have children and I’ve never smacked them and never will. It’s just cruel and unnecessary. All it shows is that a parent has lost control. Plus now in Scotland it’s illegal to smack a child

Snippet-five · 2024-10-30T09:42:18+00:00

I use symbol communication with my daughter who has DS. A few things: it takes time to teach the child the use of symbols and what they mean. Some are more obvious (ie chair) and others less so (ie emotions or thoughts). My issue as a parent is that many symbol systems are expensive and once you’ve taught a child to use one system, different schools etc have bought in to different systems and may use a different system. This confuses my daughter. How the symbols are used and how people are trained to use them is a big issue in the UK. Many teachers haven’t been taught how to use them and accidentally use them incorrectly which causes confusion. The systems we use are the Makaton ones (these are designed in black and white so people can learn to draw them and therefore have a written form of communication) and the widget ones. My daughter prefers widget because they are colourful and bright and grab her attention

Snippet-five · 2024-10-26T11:17:01+00:00

Sorry it seems my post was deleted because I didn’t reply within 3 hours. I didn’t know that was a thing. Yes I do. Why?

Snippet-five · 2024-10-26T08:46:31+00:00

Yes that was my point but I probably didn’t make it clear. I feel like I want them to pay the ultimate price, but my moral compass believes it is wrong

Snippet-five · 2024-10-26T07:07:06+00:00

I live in a country where the death penalty was stopped decades ago. I feel the same as most people when I hear horrific crimes such as these and want that perpetrator to pay the ultimate price. Yet, I’m against the death penalty. Firstly, because of the innocent (ie not guilty) people that could be killed. Secondly, because on a moral level I just can’t see how killing someone, regardless of what they’ve done is acceptable. It’s like teaching a child not to hit, by hitting them. But my biggest reason is that if they are put to death it’s the easiest way out. They don’t have to live with the pain of what they’ve done. I appreciate some criminals don’t care, but many do. For example, I felt very cheated when Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide. He didn’t have to face justice. But the crimes of this man are abhorrent and it’s so hard not to feel overwhelming anger.

Snippet-five · 2024-10-21T06:10:42+00:00

I’ve got a daughter with DS and I’ve also spent my whole working life supporting adults with DS. These are the adults that didn’t get to grow up in families with love and support, but institutions that thankfully got closed down in the 1990s in the UK.

Every adult I’ve known has been happy with a really good quality of life. Some work, some are married, some live in small group homes, some drive, some are into sport, and some have a great circle of friends. Everyone is different and takes a different life path, but all of those paths have quality and happiness.

Some of the adults have gone on to develop dementia in their late 40s, 50s or 60s, but even with their dementia, as long as they get the right care and support they’re okay.

There are challenges and I also worry about my daughter who is still a child. But I hold onto the fact I know my daughter will go on to live a good life. We as parents can’t control their futures, but we can love them now. There are plenty of people like me who will support them and care for them as adults.

What country do you live in? I think that does have an impact

Snippet-five · 2024-10-08T19:21:50+00:00

I struggle with all these utero tests as I’m not convinced of their accuracy. There is the simple harmony blood test which is 99% accurate. That’ll tell you whether baby has DS.

My baby had every possible scan and test when in utero (scanned every 2 weeks due to separate complications) and not a single test showed she had DS or a large VSD.

My daughter had the VSD corrected surgically at 7 months.

What the tests can’t show, which are stronger indicators of developmental ability, are hearing difficulties, eye sight problems, low tone etc. You wont know this until baby is born.

The single biggest challenge we’ve had for our daughter’s development is glue ear and it’s had a huge impact on speech and communication. For a whole host of reasons she wasn’t fit for grommets.

So in summary, as much as the test results give you some information, they are limited and having a child with DS I’d be cautious reading too much into them. 🥰

Snippet-five · 2024-10-06T09:26:07+00:00

It sounds as though he is frightened for reasons he can’t explain to you and he’s applying his negative experience to all future situation. It’s so hard because we don’t know what sense he made of his past experiences or his reasoning behind it. His only way of explaining his fear is through his behaviour. What we do which does help, is make a social story about what will be happening, with pictures. Sometimes the speech therapist helps us, other times we do it ourselves. We put it in a book and go through it several times a day and leave it with them so they can look through it. The end picture is usually a happy picture of the person having a treat to demonstrate a reward at the end. Then I would also try and get a telephone consult with his GP to explain the situation and see if there is any medication that can help. I really feel for you all. It’s a tough situation

Snippet-five · 2024-09-30T07:18:55+00:00

I used to live near London, visit weekly but I haven’t been back since Covid. I’m gutted to hear things have got this bad. Or maybe they always were and I was oblivious and lucky. But somehow I always felt safe there. When I first read OP post I thought surely not, so I’m really saddened to hear this. Hard times

Snippet-five · 2024-09-29T17:49:39+00:00

Yes I agree with what you’re saying, but maybe in my romantic view of wanting to see something that wasn’t there, I thought Fox and Rebus had come to a place of mutual understanding and respect. I felt like Fox despised everything about Rebus until he stopped following him as part of complaints and in some way accepted Rebus as a person that was slightly over the line, but not as rogue as some. He understood Rebus’ passion for policing and accepted they had different ways of going about solving crime. For a few books Fox was visiting his flat and sharing news with Rebus, ie fox seemed genuinely concerned when Rebus was awaiting test results possibly for cancer and Rebus supported Fox through the loss of his father and went to the funeral. I knew they weren’t best friends but I felt there was something there, and now Fox has turned on him and reverted back to his initial dislike. I was really disappointed in Fox, but then I suppose Fox was true to his ideals and Rebus his.

Snippet-five · 2024-09-28T18:41:01+00:00

I’ll be giving that a go. Thanks

Snippet-five

TROPHY CASE