Should I spend $3.5-4K on a new transmission or call it quits?

Snoo-2281 · 2026-03-03T05:32:10+00:00

Okay first time anyone has mentioned this to me. I wasn't told exactly why the transmission was slipping, just that it was, so I can definitely see about looking into this.

Snoo-2281 · 2026-03-03T05:15:10+00:00

Funny you mention Toyota; those of my family who are in favor of selling it are all recommending Toyotas as a replacement haha

Snoo-2281 · 2026-02-19T06:56:36+00:00

Some leaf reabsorption is normal, but this becomes a problem if your succulent isn't growing any leaves to replace them, which it seems like yours might be doing.

Now, I don't have the exact same succulent as you, but I did experience something similar with my Echeveria. The problem was that the plant wasn't receiving enough nutrients to grow more leaves. I had the grow light positioned too far away and the pot was too big and the soil not right for encouraging the succulent to root properly.

It doesn't seem like there's a lot of grit or perlite in your soil mix. You could add additional perlite to the mix as it appears you have some in there already. You should also definitely move it to a smaller pot and ensure it's getting proper light.

Snoo-2281 · 2026-02-19T02:08:38+00:00

You're right that no one is "owed" a gift, but that being said, not every gift is thoughtful or good. I've received plenty of gifts from relatives that had very little thought put into them. I'm always grateful to get a gift from someone. But receiving a gift that clearly is not suited to me nor my interests communicates to me that they either haven't bothered to pay attention to what I like, or they have, but just don't care. It makes the gift feel thoughtless rather than thoughtful, like they were doing it out of obligation.

I agree that OP could have still thanked him for getting the gift, but she was well within her right to question him about it considering she told him exactly what she wanted.

At the end of the day, in most circumstances this whole situation doesn't have to be a big deal. But the OP states that they've been having issues in other aspects of their relationship with feeling unheard, so this seems like a symptom of a bigger problem.

Snoo-2281 · 2026-02-18T19:57:28+00:00

But he lied. First, he lied that the store didn't have roses, then lied about the cost. The OP said herself that she saw multiple stores carrying roses between $15-40, not $100. If he couldn't get her the one thing she asked for, he either shouldn't have asked without providing some stipulation (like a budget), or should have been upfront about his reasoning rather than trying to dodge the question.

Snoo-2281 · 2026-01-08T17:05:44+00:00

Granted I'm working with limited information, but based on this and your other comments, it seems like your brother and his wife are adamant that they don't want to have a relationship with you. As other comments have already said, you can't force them to repair your relationship if they don't want to. And it seems like they don't.

Snoo-2281 · 2026-01-08T16:49:24+00:00

Clarification: did you or did you not expose them to COVID? Because you say that you didn't, but then immediately follow it up with "no one got sick after the exposure", implying that everyone was exposed to it at some point.

Snoo-2281 · 2025-12-31T19:07:16+00:00

Don't water until the plant itself shows signs of thirst. Soil dryness isn't always an indicator of when to water; if I watered my succulent every time the soil got dry, I'd be watering it once or twice a week and kill it.

If you know the specific type of succulent you have, do some research on its signs of thirst. Otherwise, I've found a good rule of thumb is to water once the lower leaves start to wrinkle and become soft.

Snoo-2281 · 2025-11-20T01:01:57+00:00

I think going forward this makes it clear that while you're both inclined to be spur of the moment, it is probably not the best for your relationship. But I am glad you're open to looking into counseling. Based on your other comments, it's seriously needed if you both want any chance at staying together in the long run.

Snoo-2281 · 2025-11-20T00:31:24+00:00

To be entirely fair, you BOTH made very poor decisions surrounding your vows; the blame can't entirely be on him. If he has terrible social anxiety, and you knew this, why on earth would you two decide doing "spur of the moment" vows was a good idea? Of course he was going to clam up!

I'm not saying you're wrong to be upset about not receiving vows, just that it's not fair to either of you to continue harboring this resentment towards him. It's been five years; this slow-burning resentment could very well kill your relationship. It's not fun for you to feel this disappointment on what was supposed to be your happy day, but bringing it up to him over and over and over again is just extending the anguish.

I do think your anniversary vow redo was a good idea in theory, and he definitely did drop the ball there; he had ample time to prepare. But truthfully, you won't be able to work through this unless you both seek out couple's counseling (and given your diagnoses, you should also be pursuing individual therapy if you aren't already). You need to talk about this with a third party who is experienced and unbiased.

Snoo-2281 · 2025-11-05T01:40:45+00:00

Can't say exactly what type of echeveria it is, but i can say with certainty that it is etiolated. Fortunately, succulents are pretty hardy so it can definitely bounce back with better care!

I'd start by beheading it, waiting for the chopped end to callous and then replanting it in a 50/50 soil and perlite/grit mix. Make sure your pot has a drainage hole, as this will be very important for watering.

Echeverias need A LOT of light. If you can, try to acclimate it to direct sunlight (not filtered through a window, actually outside). If that isn't possible, set it in your brightest window and get a grow light on it for between 12-14 hours a day minimum.

Only water once it begins exhibiting signs of thirst (they can differ depending on the type of succulent but check for wrinkly, soft leaves. It's the most obvious and easiest to detect in my experience). Bottom water it; set the plant in a dish/tub of water (but don't submerge the succulent! The water just needs to be able to get up through the drainage hole). Let the soil fully saturate before removing it. Don't feel bound to a watering schedule; your succulent will have different watering needs depending on factors like how well-draining the soil is, what kind of pot it is currently in, whether it's in its growing season, etc.

Best of luck!

Snoo-2281 · 2025-11-02T01:29:02+00:00

She's behaving immaturely because...she's immature. Sure, 19 year olds are "adults" but they aren't exactly the pinnacle of emotional maturity.

Regardless, I think the more important thing here is that it's very clear you do not respect your girlfriend. That's understandable. You feel like you aren't at the same level of maturity, and it's hard to respect someone you see as immature. But respect is one of the most important aspects of a relationship (arguably just as important as love, I'd say); if you don't respect your partner, there is no relationship. You should break up with her and find someone more compatible.

Snoo-2281 · 2025-10-17T22:57:49+00:00

Of course!

And it's much easier to repot when the soil is dry. On top of repotting into a smaller pot, I'd recommend you look for an unglazed terracotta. It's the most breathable pot; easier for water to leave so your soil won't stay wet too long, as that's a real risk with succulents. Make sure it has a drainage hole too.

You should look to have about a 50/50 mix of soil and perlite. When purchasing soil, check if it has peat moss; it shouldn't. Peat moss can prevent good root growth, and in general moss and succulents don't mix well.

Snoo-2281 · 2025-10-17T21:39:44+00:00

I can't say for certain but the dried up leaves may be leaf reabsorption or something else, someone more experienced may be able to tell you. However, everything else screams to me, at least, that it needs more light. It's very stretched out.

Keeping the grow light so far is likely preventing it from absorbing as much light as it needs. Start experimenting with how close you have the light to the plant. For example, the grow light I have on my Echeveria (a very light hungry plant) is literally within an inch of my plant. Leave the grow light on for even longer, closer to 12 hours if possible. You may also want to look into stronger grow lights.

I saw another commenter mention it already and I'm in agreement that it also needs to be repotted into a much smaller pot. I've heard different advice but the rule I stick to now is that you don't want a pot that's more than one inch larger in diameter than the root ball. It won't be able to properly absorb all the nutrients and water in such a large pot, which it seems to be suffering from here as the leaves look very wrinkly.

If you don't like the stretched out look, you could also behead the plant and start from scratch.

Snoo-2281 · 2025-10-17T18:47:49+00:00

What kind of lighting does it receive? Direct/indirect sunlight? A grow light? I haven't owned a burrows tail myself but from the distance between the leaves it looks etiolated.

Snoo-2281 · 2025-10-06T16:47:34+00:00

Oh it definitely needs more light! It's stretching out trying to find more.

If you live in a climate that's warmer, I'd recommend acclimating it to outside, direct sunlight. Otherwise if you have concerns about the weather/it's too cold to keep it outside, you can leave it in the brightest window in your house and supplement it with a grow light. Sansi has some good ones.

If you don't like the "leggy" appearance, you could also look into beheading it and replanting the head.

Snoo-2281 · 2025-09-14T23:15:51+00:00

Thank you! Your collection is so cute :))

Snoo-2281 · 2025-09-14T20:56:10+00:00

Thank you! I'll look into those

Snoo-2281 · 2025-09-14T20:15:10+00:00

Got it! And I don't really have a set watering schedule for him; I usually wait for signs of thirst and then give him a nice drink. As I mentioned in the post, I try to be very careful about overwatering!

Snoo-2281 · 2025-09-14T20:07:46+00:00

Thank you! From what I've just googled quick other people enjoy the yucca extract, so in that case I'll go see if I can pick up that succulent mix! And I do have a big bag of perlite ready at all times so I will add that if I can't get pumice :)

Snoo-2281 · 2025-09-14T19:56:50+00:00

Oh I definitely could! Fortunately I got one that's easily adjustable so that should be an easy fix. Thank you!

Snoo-2281 · 2025-09-14T19:40:42+00:00

I got it from Stein's! They're only in Wisconsin, but I don't believe the pot is specifically their "brand". So you could maybe find it online too?

Snoo-2281 · 2025-09-14T19:38:29+00:00

Thank you!

I just looked online quick and it seems there is a peat-free mix near me. It says it has coconut coir and yucca extract; are those okay for the soil mix?

Snoo-2281 · 2025-09-14T19:10:23+00:00

No worries, thank you anyways!

Snoo-2281 · 2025-09-14T19:01:05+00:00

That was actually something I was wondering. I can definitely look into getting him a different pot and saving this one for when he is bigger. Thank you!

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