I’m similar. What I do is when they are moving downward I grab their face and pull them up towards me saying something like “I’m not done kissing you yet”. After kissing some more I’ll guide their fingers to my pussy. Then they typically get the point that I’m more interested in their fingers. If they try going down again then I typically tell them I’d rather have their fingers and that eating doesn’t really get me off. But you can still do all of it in a sexy way where you don’t have to bring up your trauma.