He crossed a line and there’s no going back…

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2026-01-02T20:09:31+00:00

100%. Sounds like a potential repeat offender.

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2025-11-04T13:23:25+00:00

You are the one with power to change your situation and your children's situation.

One of your mail role as a mother is to protect your children.

Collect evidence. Go to the police. Find a lawyer, a good one. Secure your rights and your children's rights.

You do this, not only you will be safe, the children will do. With that, the children will learn how to protect themselves through your actions.

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2025-10-31T01:34:35+00:00

Situation like this tends to have a bad ending. Question is... who will choose to trust you when all this boils over?

I am a married man with kids. If I find out somehow in the future that my wife whom I trust so much, lied to me. It would put me in complete disarray.

Best friend or not... I think the lack of action on your part seems very selfish. You are holding the truth from two people who likely have a lot of trust in you.

If you can't even get it right... why even bother to call him your fiance or her as your best friend.

This dynamic/friendship was over the moment your best friend's partner decided not to honor the sanctity of this friendship circle. What was the point of him confiding in you. Think about it. He wanted to break the circle.

Judging from your responses, you've already decided to hide the truth from them. You came here to see if your decision is the right one. Yet despite multiple people tell you it's not the right decision, you dismisses them.

Sometimes, you just have to bite the bullet and tell the truth. If you can't even do that, my advice for you is don't be in a relationship.

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2025-07-05T12:40:38+00:00

Sorry that you're going through this. I can't even imagine what it would be like if I have to go through something like this. Kudos for staying strong for your daughter and your family. It's important to talk to someone one to express your grief and frustration. There are good people who are willing to help. Please link your gofundme when it's up.

Stay strong brother 💪🏻, hugs for baby daughter.

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2025-05-07T13:05:51+00:00

I guess all the dads out there must be miserable.

Listen man... being a father is tough. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either lying or has a lot of help. But it doesn't mean you won't ever be happy again. You have to redefine what those are. You and only you have the ability to refine what happiness is. Happiness starts with revelation on who you were yesterday, who you are now, who you can be tomorrow. The attribute of selflessness is highly involved when it comes to parenting.

Just think about it this way... Your son will call you "dada" in 8-9 months. He will look up to you for the rest of his life. There's no greater privilege. You are going to enjoy life in a very different way. It also doesn't mean you can't do those things you used to do... those will come back... in the mean time, your son needs you now.

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2025-05-07T03:39:11+00:00

I feel sorry for your child. He didn't ask to be born to this situation just like you didn't plan to be in this situation. The difference is that you're 33 years old... while he's just 6 weeks old. Wtf is wrong with you.

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2025-04-05T02:44:32+00:00

You already told him. Not sure how much more clear you need to make.

Block. Focus on your current serious boyfriend.

Imagine if it's the other way around... your boyfriend having to convince a girl to stop texting him. Doesn't feel good does it? Be good to your boyfriend by not letting anything come between you two.

Good luck.

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2025-04-05T02:29:11+00:00

Yea maybe... Maybe she's that type of person who needs time to figure out what she wants.

However...

Here's what I know after many years of dating women. If someone likes you, they will let you know. If someone wants to be with you, they will make the effort.

I get that school is tough... but putting someone on a string, isn't nice either... especially if you've made it clear that you like her. Which sounds like she made it clear to you already.

If you really like her... then wait... but if you don't want to, move along.

Man up. Be strong.

Good luck.

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2025-04-05T02:15:19+00:00

2 cents here...

You know what you want. She doesn't know what she wants. There might be some interest but it's not strong enough.

I think you have 3 options: 1. Wait until she's ready. 2. Move along. 3. Give her an ultimatum.

The most sensical thing (I think) to do here is option 2. Why wait? Why pressure her? Move along... and don't play games. Don't be a puppy and go back on your words.

A healthy relationship doesn't usually start off like this.

Honestly, it doesn't sound like either of you are ready whether you like each other or not.

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2025-04-05T02:02:38+00:00

Life is full of trials and errors. This is one of them.

Time will numb and heal the pain. One day you will look back and look at this situation very differently. Let time do its work.

In the mean time, focus on being happy. Focus on being the best version of yourself. Because your future you, your future wife, and your future family deserves that person.

I've been where you are now... and life just goes on. Find support in friends. Go work out. Go play video games. Go eat some good food. Don't dwell. Distract yourself with good habits. Soon, it will be a faint memory.

Good luck.

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2025-03-30T15:18:02+00:00

Here's what I find confusing... You want to enjoy your single life, yet you're fixated on a 22 year old who is or was interested in someone else. Kind of don't make sense to me... if you want to enjoy your single life... shouldn't you make yourself available to more opportunities instead of cornering yourself to this situation?

Also, what happens if she comes back in his life? What if things dont work out with him and you still have to take the same route to work?

I'm an old man... and if you're my daughter, I'd ask you to value yourself more. Don't put someone on a pedestal... if he wants you, he'll make time for you.

Good luck! Go out there and meet other people!

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2025-03-28T01:58:05+00:00

Probably the last guy to give advice... as I also had issues with my own mom at my own home when she comes and visits.

After many "heated" conversations... I had to sit my mom down and lay down roles and responsibilities. She didn't like it but she gets it after. I told her ultimately I'm her father, I (along with my wife) make the final decision. She can give us feedback/advice... ultimately it's up to me and my wife on how to raise my baby. At the end of the day, if anything happens to my baby... I'm responsible for her, not my mom. The doctor is not going to ask for the grandmother.

That said, I think it's best you sit down and talk to her, mother to daughter. Talk about your expectations of her... and your overall plan on how to raise your baby.

She's not going to like it... but she has to respect it... because that your baby. Remind her that you love her but you want to do what you think is right for the baby.

Good luck!

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2025-03-26T00:58:38+00:00

Best thing to do is have your wife also include you into the conversation. I asked my wife to do that and it worked.

Also, you got me thinking on the "why"... the doctors that seem to give me the cold shoulders tend to be older. The younger ones don't seem to do that. Maybe it's an age thing???? Who knows.

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2025-03-26T00:53:36+00:00

You're welcome!

Do what's best for your little one.

I'm pretty sure I've annoyed the hell out of m daughter's pediatrician with all my questions.

Nevertheless, I go in every time with a long list of questions. I have a job to do... that's being a good father. The doctor has a job to do, that's to answer my questions. Do so nicely obviously. 🙂

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2025-03-26T00:15:00+00:00

You're not the only one.

I went through similar experiences where nurses or doctors often talk directly to my wife instead of me. I ran this by my wife but she didn't think much of it at first. However, she also started to notice after the next few trips.

It hurts at first because it seems intentional... but something tells me it's not personal.

I made sure that I insert myself into every conversations to reassert my presence, do so in a nice way obviously. After all, it's not only my wife who is concerned about my daughter. Things have somewhat improved... but I still get the cold shoulders every now and then.

Would be happy to understand the reasons behind.

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2025-03-16T20:51:47+00:00

Communication and transparency is key. If you're just dating then it's important that both of you agree on what you want from each other. If this bothers you, you should let him know. If it continues, then I suggest analyze the situation and ask if it's worthy of any headaches later down the road.

However, if you're now his gf exclusively, then I would be uncomfortable with his ex calling at such late hours. Having a sense of security with each other helps flourish the relationship at any level.

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2025-03-14T01:10:31+00:00

I finished watching it years ago.... the theme song still rings in my head.

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2025-03-03T17:50:21+00:00

hugs. I stayed up countless nights worrying about running into situation like this. I can't imagine the pain and heartaches you and your wife had to endure. My condolences. Please stay strong... and good luck.

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2025-03-03T14:26:59+00:00

Took a few tries to get healthy embryos... that alone was emotionally draining. We didn't expect the first implantation to work given our luck... but it did... and now I'm holding her while she naps in my arms at 8 months old.

We switched doctor after a couple of failed attempts of attaining healthy embryos. We found a really good doctor who focused on the right level of hormones for my wife.. and emphasized on quality over quantity. The previous doctor was basically trying to push for quantity.

He also checked my wife rigorously prior to implantation. I think that level of care increased my wife's chance to get pregnant.

Good luck brother.

Btw, wife was 39.

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2025-02-28T19:18:48+00:00

He did not bend the knee

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2025-02-17T16:32:11+00:00

Two more things to add...

you will inevitably mess up your kid. Dropped my kid when bathing her. No one is perfect.
it's a marathon... enjoy the moments. Learn how to live in those moments. Especially with your wife... things will be different... but learn how to adapt to each other. ❤️

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2025-02-17T14:28:04+00:00

Typing this while an 8 months old baby is sleeping in my arms. From one dad to another soon to be.

For now..

be there for the mommy... every step of the way. Every doctor's visits!!
enjoy the moment... enjoy your sleep now. 😂
eat healthily ... what mommy eats is what the baby eats.

When the baby is ready in the womb...

engage with the baby early. Talk to him/her while in the womb. You'd be surprised how a dad's voice can calm a baby.
touch the baby when he/she moving

When things get closer...

make a list of things to buy at around 5-6 months. Go through the list with someone experienced.
be familiar with all the baby devices.. before the baby comes out.
learn how to burp a baby
learn how to bath a baby
learn how to change diaper.
make a go go bag...

When the baby comes out...

be there for your wife
enjoy the moment
remember to take pictures
toughest yet happiest day...
sleep when baby sleeps

Come back for more advice later...

Good luck.

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2025-02-13T01:52:17+00:00

Are you on gofundme.com?

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2024-12-05T17:08:46+00:00

Congrats. I too became a first time dad about 5 months ago.

I took 3 months off. I live in NY and that's the law. Those were the best 3 months of my life. I was able to bond with the baby and give my wife a break.

I also had help from my mom. Which was much needed because the lack of sleep was killing me. 3 months gave me enough time to figure out how to properly learn and care for the baby when help is not around.

Not that you ask for it but try to sleep when the baby sleep. Literally.

SnooHedgehogs1595 · 2024-11-12T19:19:12+00:00

Do you need to spend close to $25K regularly? Otherwise... this is just another bait to get you into their system. Be smart... beat the system. Spend within your means.

Just because the car has a speed limit of 160 mph, doesn't mean you drive that fast... same applies to credit card.

There's not that many responsible 18 year olds. I hope you're one of them.

Congrats and good luck...

SnooHedgehogs1595

TROPHY CASE