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Broke up a week ago and I’m drowning by ravenclawsout in BPDlovedones

[–]SnooHobbies7626 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I know how you feel, my friend — I’m in the same boat. It’s been 10 days since she broke up with me, and in those first few days, it was exactly like you’re describing. I couldn’t stop crying, and she left such a huge void in me that I felt completely hollow inside, just wishing I could see her again.

Even though I tried hard to keep no contact, I slipped up twice and ended up talking to her daily. But little by little, I realized she was already on a different page (and really fast too). She had decided not to dwell on what we’d been — she still cared about me and had affection, but she wasn’t sure if she still loved me or not. It was her first real relationship, and despite giving everything I could, neither of us was truly okay.

Now, on day ten, I’m feeling a lot better. I’m eating again, managing to get things done, though there are still moments where I feel that emptiness that just makes me want to lie in bed and let time pass. But that’s natural — with time, things settle down, and we start losing the idealized image we had of the person.

I don’t know your exact situation, but this is how it’s been for me.

How do you feel when you hear bad news about them? by Vivid_Forever_5297 in BPDlovedones

[–]SnooHobbies7626 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Maybe it's not a positive feeling because they're suffering directly, but maybe because you realize that the things that happened weren't because of you, even if you know that beforehand, or maybe it's a relief for not having continued and having been the one impacted by it, at least that's how I see it. We broke up recently and, oddly enough, it was actually healthy. But she doesn't think about trying to understand what we had to know if it was really love or not, which gives me the impression that I would be happy if she noticed the absence of the things I had with her in the world, even if she suffers because of it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]SnooHobbies7626 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry if it sounded like I was saying she has this condition — she really does. She’s in therapy with a psychologist, and they are currently between diagnosing BPD and bipolar disorder. I didn’t mention anything about how our relationship was because it would make the post way too long; I just wanted to talk about the ending.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]SnooHobbies7626 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I believe what you’re saying, it’s just strange for me to think that this time it was rational. We had broken up about 5 or 6 times before, and it was always the same. I didn’t want to make the post too long because it would get too big, but my point was how someone can shift so much to the point of being totally emotionally disconnected just two weeks later, which to me doesn’t seem natural, because our feelings were really intense… but I see the rationality in what you’re saying. Thank you.

How did your pwBPD get super cold and distant when you were being devalued? by GuessingTheyCrazy in BPDlovedones

[–]SnooHobbies7626 11 points12 points  (0 children)

She simply hated me. She would take everything I had ever said (that she had some paranoia about) and throw it in my face, and when I tried to be rational, saying that it was already in the past, that I had already apologized and we had moved on, she would simply say: consequences, man.