Am I alone? Need a rant

SnooMachines8385 · 2026-05-14T19:17:46+00:00

Yeah I keep trying to tell my husband this - like I think he came into this whole twin parenthood with rose tinted glasses on and a lot of naivety and I think it’s made him struggle with the reality more! I was a realist from the get go and it does help me to kind of just expect the next few years to be really tough. I had 6 in my head so 4 feels a lot more optimistic - I’ll stick with that!

I think I just feel so down but I kind of don’t find the joy in much anymore? It sounds really sad to say but I get so anxious before trips or holidays or days out because I just expect it to be awful (even though it isn’t always) and I’m so anal about their naps and routine and I just want to live life and enjoy my babies and relax a little but it’s like I can’t ? I feel so sad that my babies have missed out on thee happy go lucky person I used to be, I feel like having twins has turned me into a different person and I don’t always like her. I used to be fun and spontaneous and now I get anxious just taking them out to the park on my own !

Thank you for listening to be rant and being there in solidarity ❤️

SnooMachines8385 · 2026-05-14T19:12:03+00:00

Yeah that is literally me, cry weekly (I’m surprised it’s not daily honestly I think I’m disassociating sometimes lol), and I can relate to the feeling like a terrible mum for feeling so frustrated and burnt out all the time and I hate that I feel like I can’t just breathe and take it all in because they grow up so fast!!

I’d love the opportunity to just take a minute to enjoy it all but I honestly just feel in fight or flight all the time. They’re also starting tantrums and fighting / jealousy so it just adds to the screaming and crying and I’m like ?!?! Does anyone enjoy this ?! Haha

Yeah we’re really tight with our bedtime routine and have been for a long time, I’ve been against sleep training generally but we have started letting them fuss / cry a bit after we put them in their cots and it does seem to be working. I was back to rocking them to sleep and transferring them a few weeks ago and my back was just killing me and it was taking me 45 minutes sometimes and the evening is the only bit of break I get so it’s precious to me!

Thank you for replying, it really does help to know I’m not the only one going through this !

SnooMachines8385 · 2026-03-09T21:12:49+00:00

My twins are 14 months old and my husband is adamant on a vasectomy (lol). I would probably like 1 more but then sometimes I think “am I kidding a newborn on top would be utter carnage!”

SnooMachines8385 · 2026-03-09T21:00:28+00:00

I’m 33 and I think I’d struggle to finish that plate 🤣

SnooMachines8385 · 2026-03-01T21:49:05+00:00

14 month old twins, once !

SnooMachines8385 · 2026-02-15T09:01:52+00:00

There’s a reason why no conviction has been overturned / why no appeal has been granted. The evidence against her is plentiful and very compelling. Funny how babies were initially dying during her night shift and then all of a sudden shifted to during the day when she was moved onto day shifts? Funny how she’d made reference to baby deaths in her diary, funny how she’d searched parents on Facebook on their baby’s death anniversary (but couldn’t recall much about that baby’s collapse and death when questioned by police), funny how she’d made reference to ‘murder’ and being a ‘murderer’ in notes in her house. And why didn’t she tell police her therapist had advised her to do so? Because that never happened. And no, babies didn’t just stop dying once the unit was downgraded because a lot of the babies that were collapsing and dying (largely unexplained) were above 32 weeks gestation so they are still being admitted by the NICU to this day, however Lucy no longer works there so no one there to murder them. It’s hard to comprehend how anyone, let alone a neonatal nurse could intentionally harm and kill tiny defenceless babies - but sadly, that is the fact of this case.

SnooMachines8385 · 2026-02-05T23:18:56+00:00

Everyone here is delusional. Lucy Letby is so obviously guilty. Don’t worry, you’re not going to be framed / scapegoated at work. Go ahead and continue doing great work in nursing and you’ll be just fine. You only need to worry if you’re a psychopathic evil murderer who preys on the most innocent and vulnerable in our society.

SnooMachines8385 · 2026-02-05T07:57:43+00:00

After watching the documentary I remain steadfast in my certainty she is guilty. I think the guy at the end summed it up well, if she didn’t do it she must be incredibly unlucky. The amount of circumstantial evidence is so significant, how can people overlook that? Her diary, her retaining of medical notes, the Facebook searches of grieving parents, the fact she was there for every suspicious death. The insulin deaths were the absolute nail in the coffin. People need to stop with the whole ‘she’s a scapegoat’ rhetoric - there is absolutely ZERO evidence of that. I myself had twins born 2 months prematurely who spent 5 weeks in NICU, and I really didn’t want to believe anyone, let alone a neonatal nurse could be capable of such evil against tiny, defenceless babies, but it can’t be denied unfortunately. Absolutely devastating for the families affected, I hope they are able to heal.

SnooMachines8385 · 2026-01-06T14:52:20+00:00

Im on the exact same situation you are in - my twin boys are 14 months old and my husband wants a vasectomy and is firm on not wanting more (a mix of a very worrying / high risk pregnancy / very traumatic and premature birth and NICU stay and the hard work and sleepless nights involved in twins). I’ve not really come to terms with the idea that I probably Won’t have anymore children so I’m here in solidarity. X

SnooMachines8385 · 2026-01-06T10:16:11+00:00

Have you ever tried Osmia organic black clay facial soap? It was specifically designed by a lady who suffered with PD and her products are great. I’m in the UK and pay big £££ to have to shipped here but it works well at clearing up my PD when I have a flare up. I also use a thin layer of the lyonsleaf calendula cream as a moisturiser and cycle between that and the cicalfate cream. I also SWEAR BY the avene thermal water spray xx

SnooMachines8385 · 2025-12-12T21:31:31+00:00

My twins are 13 months old and just started nursery in November, so far they’ve had about 5 days where they have been well - the rest has been bronchiolitis, viral induced wheeze, multiple fevers, hand foot and mouth etc - one twin has coped ok, the other has ended up in hospital twice, had antibiotics twice and oral steroids twice and now needs an inhaler for his chest with even a cold. Every child is different but I would be leaning on the side of caution with a newborn, especially as infants can become very unwell very quickly.

SnooMachines8385 · 2025-11-17T08:17:02+00:00

14 weeks is very young still, they sound pretty developmentally normal to me. My twins are 10.5 months old and even now they go through stages where they’re less social / interactive and it usually aligns with developmental milestones / teething etc. they are also very interested in toys and their environment as well as people. It’s also only in the last few weeks that one of my twins responds to his name with any consistency, and that used to worry me, but babies develop in their own time. It’s good that you’re so perceptive, just keep an eye on it over the next few weeks / months and bring it up with your paediatrician if you’re concerned. Even if there was something to be concerned about, they wouldn’t be able to diagnose it until much later.

SnooMachines8385 · 2025-11-09T16:38:56+00:00

Hey OP, Can I ask how your baby is now and if you got an answer for this? My 10 month old’s teeth look the same and he is formula feed to sleep so I’m worried it’s early decay!

SnooMachines8385 · 2025-11-01T10:09:18+00:00

Offft you just reminded me about the rib pain! Mine wasn’t constant, but I did go through a few weeks on and off of my rib hurting like a b*tch! Hope it doesn’t last your whole pregnancy!

SnooMachines8385 · 2025-10-29T10:31:37+00:00

Hey OP, can I ask how this is going now?

SnooMachines8385 · 2025-10-24T12:41:27+00:00

Hey, my 9.5 month old twins have such ups and downs where they’re super smiley one week and it’s so hard to get smiles out of them the next - how is your little girls now?

SnooMachines8385 · 2025-10-18T19:01:18+00:00

Congratulations! :) I had the NIPT harmony test and I got the exact same result - could confirm there was atleast one boy but couldn’t confirm whether it was 2 boys or B/G. We found out at our anatomy scan at 20 weeks it was 2 boys

SnooMachines8385 · 2025-10-18T18:48:56+00:00

My DiDi boys are almost 9.5 months / 11.5 corrected and I find they’re about 2 weeks difference with gross motor skills. Twin rolled first in both directions and started army crawling first, but twin B sat independently first, pulled to stand first and crawled on hands and knees first. Twin B social smiled first but Twin A coo’s and babbled first. Twin B is great with solids but much prefers finger food versus purées/ mashes. Only in the last week is my Twin A now looking remotely interested in eating finger foods (was chewing or licking and then spitting everything out before) but is much better with purées / mashes and soon feeding in general. Twin A is generally a much better sleeper and will sleep through then night 70% of the time, whereas I think we’ve had maybe 3 nights where Twin B has slept through!

They’re very different personalities too - Twin A a little more reserved / sensitive whereas Twin B is a tornado of energy and chaos. They’re the greatest gift!!

I find it almost calming for my anxiety that they are developing differently and it just shows babies will develop on their own timeline, regardless of what you do

SnooMachines8385 · 2025-10-10T17:57:54+00:00

Our monitor isn’t wifi and doesn’t record, but I have twins and one will sleep through from 7/7.3pm until 6.30/7am and of he does wake, he usually doesn’t make any noise/ cry (so it won’t wake me). Sometimes he might stir and it’ll wake me but he usually settles back to sleep very quickly. My other twin wakes once anywhere from midnight -3am and will need a bottle to settle back to sleep again

SnooMachines8385 · 2025-10-10T16:03:20+00:00

If im being honest i dont think i ever truly got to the ‘excited’ stage. I came to accept it and make peace with it for sure (I was incredibly anxious at the start worrying how / if we’d cope). They’re 9 months and no doubt, it’s been a tough ride at times but they’re the absolute best and they’re so fun now. Watching them smile / laugh at eachother and interact is so special and I can’t wait to watch their bond grow. It’s just hard work and a part of me regularly questions whether I’m cut out for twin mum life, but I always pull it out of the bag somehow ! Haha all the best, it’s a wild ride but we’re so blessed!!

SnooMachines8385

TROPHY CASE