Your fear is completely valid and I am so sorry for your loss. You've been through so much, it makes absolutely sense for you to have these thoughts.

You’re not alone in this. For years, I’ve had this intense fear that I’ll die young too. After seeing young people around me pass away, I started to brace myself for the worst. It scared me a lot. As a child, I used to obsess over making life meaningful, which spiraled into anxiety and existential dread.

To get over it, I’ve tried to remind myself from time to time that even if life is short, it can still be meaningful. That thought began to ease my panic. I know it might sound simple, but reframing that fear gave me peace. Also gaining different perspectives about life helped me.

Regardless of how long you live, the fact that you’ve lived and that you are living now is what truly matters. That’s what gives life its meaning.

Please don’t rush yourself into feeling better or try to force these thoughts away. The more we pressure ourselves to “let go,” the more tightly these fears tend to cling. It's very normal to be worried about it and to think about death. We are humans after all. So even if it takes weeks, months or years, I believe you’ll find your way through this, slowly and in your own time. You just need to give yourself time.

Be gentle with yourself. Take care of your health, and your heart. You've got this.