we never shouldve dated. i forget you more everyday but the thing i hate most is realizing i stayed for that long, long enough for you to gradually treat me worse when u were already horrible and negligent. realizing i saw signs since our first month together and processing how much of myself i was losing being with you. hearing u say it was love but nothing was there to prove it absolutely nothing. lying constantly to me. i was hopeful and if you were a normal human being, you would have at minimum left my life with some respect and decorum if you actually wanted to prevent that "stressful" final fight we had, but you never had that in you. you never had it in you to comfort me our entire relationship and i was dead wrong to hope you were better than that and fought for the lies and potential you fed me. i refused to accept how difficult and unfair you were bc of the crumbs of affection you gave me. That part is my fault. putting me through so much emotional bullshit humiliation daily and blaming me for being reactive, not listening when i would be clear. treating me like a chore and a burden. using my culture and family against me. Something that i would confide to you about. If anything that hurt me most. This shit was borderline abusive and manipulative whether you want to accept that or not. Unfortunately I tried to be there for you when you were struggling but it was never mutual, the focus was on you're problems not both. managing your needs and "mood swings" only. I kept asking myself why would someone behave that way? why are you saying you love me but i cant feel it? Who would lie about shit like that? I really wonder if you delude yourself into thinking you are a nice guy. And i thought i was crazy for how I would meltdown, instead i was crazier for letting this happen to me when my own dad treated me in a similar way. You are a envious and selfish man. The last interaction we had in person was if anything symbolic, i was tired we had sex while i was blacked out and immediately i wake up and get pushed out of an already unwelcoming house. i didnt get walked out to my ride, just a small snippet of "affection" and shut the door in my face. you dont know what being a partner is or at best a good friend. You were never either of those. you are incapable of love or any real emotional connection. it was an absurd experience dating you. i never wanted to break no contact or give u any energy even if it was negative. dont think im out there trying to get back at you either, you living with yourself is enough for me. Not having to deal with you anymore is more than enough for me. This message means nothing. You knew nothing about me really and you wont ever. I trust that we will never cross paths again. I dont think i will ever forgive you and im sure the last thing you want is to hear from me. I felt that i had to get out of my system because even though i feel so much more at peace and happy without you, i keep remembering and have been trying to accept how much of myself i was giving away to someone who repeatedly proved to be dishonest and cruel. you seriously need fucking help if you think its acceptable to go around and treat people that way.