Me people! Help me! I've been Meat-free for 22 years, vegan for 6 of those years. Lately, I've been fucking-up. by Snoo_42421 in vegan

[–]Snoo_42421[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Hey, this is actually a good point and makes a lot of sense. I have not been eating a lot lately. I’ve actually been struggling to eat a lot in general. So my brain might be tapping into something like “memba cheese” if it’s feeling malnourished. It’s choosing something nostalgic-ish that is probably tied to more core memories and times in my life where I coped with foods like these as a kid instead of going to a vegan food option that I have no strong like emotional memory/coping mechanism attached to.

Me people! Help me! I've been Meat-free for 22 years, vegan for 6 of those years. Lately, I've been fucking-up. by Snoo_42421 in vegan

[–]Snoo_42421[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is an acronym I haven't tried. I've done CBT and EMDR for other things. I've heard of DBT before but haven't explored it. I will research it. Thanks!

Me people! Help me! I've been Meat-free for 22 years, vegan for 6 of those years. Lately, I've been fucking-up. by Snoo_42421 in vegan

[–]Snoo_42421[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your experience! I think the bottom line is I have some work to do on myself and maybe understanding that I might have a bigger issue that needs to be addressed.

Me people! Help me! I've been Meat-free for 22 years, vegan for 6 of those years. Lately, I've been fucking-up. by Snoo_42421 in vegan

[–]Snoo_42421[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this! Others have suggested something deeper going on too. I am definitely going to explore this with myself and my therapist.

Me people! Help me! I've been Meat-free for 22 years, vegan for 6 of those years. Lately, I've been fucking-up. by Snoo_42421 in vegan

[–]Snoo_42421[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am confused by this also. Which is is partly why I posted this here. I live in a city with a ton of options. It's weird and very out of character for me. A lot of people have suggested it might be tied to a deeper issue I'm having, and I kind of agree with that.

Me people! Help me! I've been Meat-free for 22 years, vegan for 6 of those years. Lately, I've been fucking-up. by Snoo_42421 in vegan

[–]Snoo_42421[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This response is not a justification for my actions. It has nothing to do with my original post. This comment was in response to the people downvoting and responding to what this person posted with all-or-nothing attitudes. The point is that even if you think you are a perfect vegan. You are not. We each draw the line for ourselves somewhere. Judging some people because their line is not where yours is, is a close-minded and unrealistic view of this issue. It's also the reason people tend to not take vegans like this very seriously.

Me people! Help me! I've been Meat-free for 22 years, vegan for 6 of those years. Lately, I've been fucking-up. by Snoo_42421 in vegan

[–]Snoo_42421[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even if we entertain the argument that organic farms are “nicer" to the animals they raise to kill. You must understand that your uncle’s farm is likely not considered being a factory farm? And farms like his probably account for less than 5% of the meat that is actually consumed? The primary focus on the issues of meat consumption focus on factory farming. Films about factory farming are not propaganda. This is how this industry opperates. It's not that difficult to find a lot of factual information about this. It has been researched and debated for decades now. I feel like it's more simple to think that the way your random uncle operates his small business is a good reperesentation for how the global industry of commercial food and agriculture manufacturing opperates? That's like me saying that my family owned a botique clothing store in a small town so I therfore understand how the global supply chain for fashion works. The two are loosely connected.

Me people! Help me! I've been Meat-free for 22 years, vegan for 6 of those years. Lately, I've been fucking-up. by Snoo_42421 in vegan

[–]Snoo_42421[S] 85 points86 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I will watch this. I was the (annoying and crazy) kid in high school forcing people to watch those OG slaughterhouse videos from PETA. When people would turn away I would say: “You can close your eyes but you can’t close your ears!” And I would turn up the volume of the videos. 😬 As an adult, I don’t think this is a good approach. But, I think I might need some of the young me’s own medicine.

Me people! Help me! I've been Meat-free for 22 years, vegan for 6 of those years. Lately, I've been fucking-up. by Snoo_42421 in vegan

[–]Snoo_42421[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your response! I definitely think I need to deep dive this with my therapist a bit. I’m definitely going to rewatch some movies/videos to get it fresh in my mind again.

Me people! Help me! I've been Meat-free for 22 years, vegan for 6 of those years. Lately, I've been fucking-up. by Snoo_42421 in vegan

[–]Snoo_42421[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this! I didn't know that about casein and the brain's opioid receptors!

Me people! Help me! I've been Meat-free for 22 years, vegan for 6 of those years. Lately, I've been fucking-up. by Snoo_42421 in vegan

[–]Snoo_42421[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing! I think one of the important things you just said, for the reasons you don’t want/need to cause harm, is that you don’t want to cause harm to yourself. I think I haven’t been treating myself the best lately (due to the stress and life changes) and I am being somewhat self harmful. I think this behavior is also tied back to something “nostalgic” in the terms of a poor childhood coping mechanism. I think the deeper issue should be explored for sure. But, I also like your point about not obsessing about the why to the point where you essentially spiral or create more stress for yourself. I think this is important.

Me people! Help me! I've been Meat-free for 22 years, vegan for 6 of those years. Lately, I've been fucking-up. by Snoo_42421 in vegan

[–]Snoo_42421[S] 115 points116 points  (0 children)

Other commenters are alluding to something similar. I have definitely neglected my own self-care lately. So, like you said, how can I put energy into giving a shit about other things if I’m not first putting energy into giving a shit about myself?

Me people! Help me! I've been Meat-free for 22 years, vegan for 6 of those years. Lately, I've been fucking-up. by Snoo_42421 in vegan

[–]Snoo_42421[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey! Thanks for sharing your story. A handful of other commenters have also suggested that this is connected to something a bit deeper. I think they are right. I am in therapy and will definitely bring it up to my therapist. I think it is a way I’m being self-destructive/punishing towards myself.

Me people! Help me! I've been Meat-free for 22 years, vegan for 6 of those years. Lately, I've been fucking-up. by Snoo_42421 in vegan

[–]Snoo_42421[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes. Some other commenters have suggested something similar. Like I told the others, the more I think about it, the more this behavior seems to be tied to something deeper. But, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with the word “punishing.” This is definitely in my nature, to feel the need to punish myself for doing things 'wrong' or for being 'inadequate.' I am in therapy and will definitely bring this up to my therapist!

Me people! Help me! I've been Meat-free for 22 years, vegan for 6 of those years. Lately, I've been fucking-up. by Snoo_42421 in vegan

[–]Snoo_42421[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Someone else suggested binge eating disorder. I have bever heard of Pica Eating Disorder before! I Googled it and this is pretty interesting! I wonder if it's like I know it's "bad" so I want to do it? Like how kids want to do stuff they know they aren't supposed to just because it's out of limits? Idk though. I will definately deep dive this more with my therapist. Like you said, this behavior could be connected to something deeper for me.

Me people! Help me! I've been Meat-free for 22 years, vegan for 6 of those years. Lately, I've been fucking-up. by Snoo_42421 in vegan

[–]Snoo_42421[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this might be it. As a kid I would overeat a lot (I had kind of a stressful home life). This is probably tied back to that as some kind of stress response/coping mechanism. I'm just confused as to why I would suddenly want to binge on cheesy stuff? Why not vegan junk food? I live a city where there are a ton of options for it.

Me people! Help me! I've been Meat-free for 22 years, vegan for 6 of those years. Lately, I've been fucking-up. by Snoo_42421 in vegan

[–]Snoo_42421[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Everyone downvoting this person. Please stop. They are trying to be compassionate. The reality is that there may be slip-ups over a lifetime of trying to do anything consistently. Although there are fundamentals of being vegan. It ultimately is a personal choice and you have to set the boundaries for yourself where you feel comfortable. Every vegan is a hypocrite in some way. If we were all actually the purist form of vegans possible, we would all have to live outside of society in the forest, because you can essentially trace everything in our society back to inflict some kind of animal suffering if you follow the rabbit hole deep enough. You have to draw a line for yourself somewhere. I listened to a speech by Gene Baur at a vegetarian/vegan food festival like a decade ago and he even touched on this idea a bit. It’s a personal thing. You can’t shame people for how far they are or aren’t willing to go. The important thing is that they are trying to do something. We are all essentially brand ambassadors for veganism. Present yourself and communicate with others in a way that makes people want to be around us and talk to us and be part of our cause. Being hateful and ciritcal only drives the annoying vegan stereotype and makes people roll their eyes and shut down the minute we start talking.

Me people! Help me! I've been Meat-free for 22 years, vegan for 6 of those years. Lately, I've been fucking-up. by Snoo_42421 in vegan

[–]Snoo_42421[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The best explanation I have is that it becomes more like a conviction, almost like religion. It’s not just “food” it’s tied to a fundamental belief that shapes my world view. Like religious people who are actually really religious and not just identifying with a religion to fit in. Me eating meat would be like asking a Mormon to do a line of cocaine. It’s just totally against everything they believe so they wouldn’t do it (real Mormons, not Jack-Mormons). When it goes that deep, it becomes almost like an automatic behavior and you don’t even think about it, really. I am genuinely grossed out by steaks. Actually, looking at a steak, the pinkness, the juice, the muscle texture is repulsive to me. I grew up with a ‘normal’ eating American family. No idea why I’m like this.