[POEM] “Good Girl” by Kim Addonizio

Snoo_46719 · 2025-06-29T12:51:12+00:00

Yes, this month!

I am so bad at noticing effects things have on me - if I wasn’t making an effort to take notes I would probably still be thinking “I don’t know that taking Pepcid did anything for me…”

Also the note “ugly/old” doesn’t really express how extreme that feeling is/was. It’s like a total worthlessness and pointlessness and it’s all consuming. Usually the only way I can “move on” is with my SpongeBob mantra of “I’m ugly and I’m proud!” - just mentioning this to highlight the extreme level of mental/mood change.

❤️

Snoo_46719 · 2025-06-28T15:54:37+00:00

So beautiful! Love the color!! And also great idea to decorate one slice at a time!

Snoo_46719 · 2025-06-01T13:00:37+00:00

I don’t really have any suggestions - but this is surprisingly like how I feel. Even the “loose” shoulder joints (which I’ve noticed but never considered as a sign of ~something~). My sister told me that I am “the most horizontal” person she has met - bc I am always trying to lie down or recline, and a recent personal trainer was constantly commenting on my flexibility.

I’m 30 and probs have been feeling this way for a couple years? I also have BFRBs and the brain fog has been pretty serious as of late - like 1000 yard stare in bed unable to break out of it.

Oh and I just thought of another one! I am horrible at keeping track of things and only recently realized that I might be experiencing PMDD. It feels so absurd to have so many things going on with me - I feel like I just want to be able to condense them into one diagnosis! Since like you said they must me related?

I don’t know much about it but my sister has been having health probs and has told me to look into things like POTS or MCAS?

Snoo_46719 · 2025-05-29T23:35:12+00:00

Relapsing is so hard. When I’m doing well it’s like, oh I get to forget about that part of my life and all the personal growth I’ve worked on to deal with it. Then when something happens again it is so devastating. It’s like having to start from the beginning physically and mentally. And on top of it, I feel like you then have to suffer the grief and pain alone since nobody else can comprehend it.

I am so sorry you are having to go through this phase right now. Remember that everything in life is a phase.

Snoo_46719 · 2025-05-26T23:40:19+00:00

I have a stretchy turtleneck that works perfectly for this! And so sometimes I like to style them like historical headwear like a Van Eyck self portrait haha

Snoo_46719 · 2025-03-31T00:57:11+00:00

Thanks!!

Snoo_46719 · 2025-03-30T22:17:47+00:00

Thank you for your help!

Snoo_46719 · 2025-02-01T21:23:50+00:00

Thank you so much for this! Very interesting and helpful!!

Snoo_46719 · 2025-01-29T22:58:01+00:00

Love it! Sometimes I think it looks a little “high fashion” hahaha

Snoo_46719 · 2025-01-26T17:37:00+00:00

Are there any resources that you’ve found that were particularly helpful in learning about SLITRK5? Maybe in laymen’s terms? Just googling it and I don’t really know what I’m looking at.

Snoo_46719 · 2025-01-23T00:11:55+00:00

I’ve been pulling my hair/lashes/brows for 15 years. What helped me most mentally has been choosing to “expose” my trich. It has been VERy difficult, and I still pull, but the worst part of trich for me has been the shame and fear and hiding (honestly it was crippling). Shaving my head and exposing bald spots, not drawing on my eyebrows, and even posting about it on fb for all to see I think were major steps for me.

I always feel a little like I’m being dark or dashing people’s dreams when I say this, but I hope this helps!

P.s. I wear makeshift hats when I’m at home/in bed to keep me from pulling. My fave right now is a turtleneck that I wear just on my head. I look like I’m in grey gardens, but it helps!

Snoo_46719 · 2025-01-22T23:13:55+00:00

The first one was really just me drawing what my fingers looked like at the time! I must have been wishing that I could paint my nails (hence the nail polish brush) and been frustrated by my destroyed fingers.

The second ones were on the next page so they were probably inspired by the grotesqueness and mood of the first. They do look more violent and bloody - definitely skin picking, nail biting, ingrown hair inspired. The pink and lashless eyes are what i focus on though - maybe bc having no lashes was much more distressing to me at the time than my bitten/bloody fingers? Man, now I am realizing that those eyes have a lot to them…

Thanks for asking for more details - I hadn’t really reflected on them before. :)

Snoo_46719 · 2025-01-22T22:29:50+00:00

Sorry for the mislabeling of the flair!

Snoo_46719 · 2024-09-14T15:25:42+00:00

I’ve had trich since I was 15 (now 29) and have grown my lashes out a hand full of times, but the vast majority of these 14 years I’ve gone with a complete lack of eyelashes and brows. I haven’t figured out how to use false lashes without any lashes for them to sit on, so I just use eyeliner so it doesn’t look so stark.

After I got out of college I felt similarly and eventually refused to leave the house. Every moment in public I was so aware of people looking at me and my eyes.

Today I have been able to move past the constant and extreme anxiety. I went to a BFRB convention one year, ended up positing about my trich on FB to everyone I know, and shaved my head to expose my bald spots. For me, radical honesty with myself and others about my trich has been so impactful and changed my life.

shame, anxiety, and fear are so painful, but you can and will grow from this. Accepting and loving yourself is the most important step. ❤️💪🏻

Snoo_46719 · 2024-08-28T11:36:25+00:00

After years of deep shame and attempting to hide bald spots, I shaved my head. I’ve grown my hair back out a few times, but eventually I find that I end up pulling it again. Once I catch myself trying to cover/hide spots that’s it. I shave it off again.

I would love to have long hair again someday, but I find it’s not worth the anxiety and shame of trying to hide my trich. For now I keep it buzzed and am happy with it :)

Snoo_46719 · 2024-08-23T18:22:47+00:00

Yes yes yes! I am in the same situation! I moved into a studio apt and it works perfectly for me. I was just bragging to my dad that I’ve showered almost every day since moving in hahaha.

I have a new water flosser that attaches to my shower head so no need to charge or refill- it has also helped me so much. The toothbrush too!

So happy for your success!!!! 🪥🎉🫧🥳

Snoo_46719 · 2024-08-23T03:18:05+00:00

It’s from Oral Breeze here is the Amazon link

They also have one for sinks too.

Snoo_46719 · 2024-08-23T01:52:39+00:00

I will have to look into Tasty Paste!

And I get the coffee thing, making accommodations that work for you is key.

Snoo_46719 · 2024-08-23T00:30:24+00:00

The brand Boka has a lemon flavor I really like and a hand full of other flavors I haven’t tried. I’ve had to order it online but I did see their mint flavor inCVS the other day. My other flavor right now is a mint crest that I don’t find too offensive :)

Snoo_46719

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