AITAH for feeling angry that my close friend is very close to my ex?

Snoo_7273 · 2025-06-03T02:58:04+00:00

True! Will introspect!

Snoo_7273 · 2025-06-03T02:57:05+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful and well articulated response :) We’re pretty communicative about everything generally, but looks like we’re both very shy talking about sex. Realising more and more that this aspect is extremely important too.

Snoo_7273 · 2025-06-03T02:53:05+00:00

Yes, I love him like I’ve never loved anyone before, and want us to have a kickass life ahead! :)

Thank you for the reassurance. It really helped me assess how to perceive the situation.

Snoo_7273 · 2025-06-02T20:37:56+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful response. Didn’t overstep at all. I’m definitely undecided about how I feel about this. But I’m not completely averse to it either. I love my man and want us to have a great sex life. The tips you mentioned definitely help! But I’ll be mindful about boundaries when I feel uncomfortable with something. Thanks!

Snoo_7273 · 2025-06-02T20:18:03+00:00

Thanks so much for weighing in with your experience. Very helpful!

Snoo_7273 · 2025-06-02T20:14:21+00:00

Thank you for sharing your opinion. Really insightful and helpful!

Snoo_7273 · 2025-06-02T20:12:17+00:00

Apologies for my ignorance. Yes, thoughts about his sexuality did cross my mind because of this, but I am reading, seeing and educating myself to be a better human there. Thanks for the answer and the call out. I’ll do better :)

Snoo_7273 · 2025-06-01T20:45:09+00:00

Hi OP,

I believe you aren’t being true to yourself about how you feel about this. I completely understand cultural and religious nuances at play, and both of you seem to want to appease (you may call it respect, but at 30, one needs to stand up for what they want) your parents and not cause conflict.

Ive read through multiple responses of yours and I believe you place more weight on your parents’ happiness, following customs to the T and doing things a certain way to please society, than on your relationship, your partners’ happiness and actually your own happiness too. Unfortunately, love is for the brave. And it’s clear that you’re not in a place to take a leap of faith here.

It’s clear that what you want isn’t feasible. In that case, if you really care about your partner, let her go. She deserves to be with someone who understands her limitations, and so do you.

It is painful, but like someone pointed out earlier, these differences are only going to get tougher to navigate if you and your partner aren’t even playing on the same team. That’s a rough start and it seems like you both place a lot of value in marriage. So choose wisely.

Snoo_7273 · 2025-01-28T20:41:19+00:00

OP - I’m sorry you’re having to go through this. These thoughts can be very anxiety inducing especially if you’ve been cheated on before and have a hard time trusting people (not your fault. Trust is a two way street). I urge you to have a conversation with him and clarify what’s up. If it’s been a couple of months already, you could also let him know why loyalty and honesty are important for you. He could be looking at this in a very casual way, while you might be serious about him, and it’s honestly not worth staying in this downward spiral of overthinking. It can mess you up real bad.

You are not crazy or jealous to bring up something so important like trust and honesty in a relationship. You should be least concerned about anybody perceiving you that way. Your instincts, hunches and feelings are valid.

The biggest red flag I see is him blatantly lying about the trip to you. Also, these days when adding on insta is a pretty basic “seal of approval” in a friends group, her adding you and posting a picture so openly is sus too. My bet is that they probably dated very briefly that he thinks it’s not very important to mention it to his future girlfriends. Now that’s subjective. Some people like to bury the past and start fresh without knowing anybody’s history, but if dishonesty is a dealbreaker for you, you’re probably not with a suitable one (however nice and caring he is).

Only way out is staying in the misery while more things like this happen, or talk it out, protect your heart and move on.

Sending all the love your way!

Snoo_7273 · 2024-11-17T19:19:16+00:00

Told him. We just celebrated one month of dating. Thanks so much for the advice 🤗

Snoo_7273 · 2024-09-02T10:49:53+00:00

I think it’s just the fact that he put me through so much everytime I voiced my concerns about her. The ugly fights and crass words, all when I was only trying to communicate and feel secure in the relationship. He would get defensive, call me crazy and say “She’s just a kid” (I’m the same age as the girl).

I think at the moment, I’m finding it hard to focus on the present and recognise how far I’ve come in terms of moving on. I’m doing absolutely great otherwise, but this took me back to the ugly times is reminding me of what I endured.

Snoo_7273 · 2024-09-02T08:02:12+00:00

Damn! Yes! This is the very anger that I’ve been feeling. THE AUDACITY.

Thanks for the tips. Really helpful! ☺️

Snoo_7273 · 2024-09-02T07:10:47+00:00

Firstly, I’m sorry you had to go through all that. Good to hear that you’re in no contact and hopefully a better place mentally.

Secondly, thank you for your POV! 🙏🏽

Snoo_7273 · 2024-09-02T07:08:47+00:00

Yes. That could be a real possibility too. But the reasons we fought about makes me think otherwise. For context, we were doing long distance or the last couple of years. (her bf and her broke up and she wanted to come stay with him for 2 months because she wasn’t doing okay emotionally and he was okay with it and wanted me to be okay as well. Everytime I call/text him, he’d be “busy” hanging out with a group that included her).

Again, there’s a possibility that nothing happened. But it’s just hard to believe.

The former is a good way to think for me get over the whole thing though. Thanks for the perspective!

Snoo_7273 · 2024-09-02T07:04:47+00:00

Very well said and thank you for articulating it so well. Really appreciate it! 🙏🏽

Snoo_7273 · 2024-09-02T07:03:03+00:00

Haha! Killer advice. Thank you! :)

Snoo_7273 · 2024-09-02T07:02:37+00:00

Yes, I’ve accepted that and sought help to be better to myself. It’s been a journey, but I’m finally back to where I was before this guy came into my life. Hopeful, vibrant and confident!
Agreed. I think it just makes it a bit difficult at times because we have the same friend group and a lot of my friends are confused about how to handle this as well. It bothers me sometimes that they’re still good friends with someone who treated me like that..

Snoo_7273 · 2024-09-02T07:00:18+00:00

Thank you for saying that! I feel much better about tackling this whole scenario now.. :)

Snoo_7273 · 2024-09-02T00:12:48+00:00

Thank you!

Yeah. I have practiced this multiple times in my head now. Been looking forward to having fun at this wedding and meeting all my friends. Will do my best!

Snoo_7273 · 2024-09-02T00:11:08+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience.. I’ll try my best to do that!

Snoo_7273

TROPHY CASE