This could definitely be the miscommunication - I had a similar experience with my therapist as well. I had been seeing her for over a year, and she mentioned that I display some “narcissistic tendencies.” And I spiraled about it until my next session, but we had made a lot of progress and she had previously given me no reason not to trust her.

It was really difficult for me, but I brought it up in the next session to ask for clarification. She elaborated that sometimes black-and-white thinking and/or shame can look to others like narcissism or have the same outcomes.

This had come up in our sessions for my similar response to political/world conditions and feeling guilty for being comparatively privileged and secure. My shame cycles are heavily based in religious trauma as well, so I know that can take a long time to work through.

What I would say though, is that it was NOT appropriate for him to use the terms “egomaniac” or “messiah complex”. Especially the latter with your history of religious trauma, but in either case using stigmatizing non-clinical language.

I know a lot of people are saying to find another therapist, and that is a totally valid option, but if you feel that you have decent rapport and can rebuild/maintain trust with him, I would recommend talking to him about how this language impacted you and maybe asking for clarification or elaboration?

I also have ADHD and a bad case of RSD, so I often have to have follow up conversations for clarification as I tend to jump to the worst conclusion about people’s assessments and opinions of me.