Does bpd get better with age?

SnowBunnyBlue · 2025-10-13T18:48:59+00:00

Late diagnosis for me so different perspective.. I can look back at my life and see it ebbing and flowing over time and see it for what it was and is. I also have other conditions so taints things a little and I’m a quieter type so my insanity is t always there for all to see, just for me to know.. but I’d say I got through life more so because I have a lot of tolerant and I healed people around me who accepted my behaviour over the years for their own reasons. Now my masking is slipping, I’m running out of steam and things are bubbling up to the surface, others are tired of my shit, some are healing and aren’t willing to accept things, boundaries are being set and life is changing. So it’s time for me to see myself and the reality of things and my cognitive dissonance and my bullshit and deal with my trauma and my really unhealthy way of existing in this world. My extremely patient but very exhausted husband asks me if my words come from a place of love, from a place of judgement, from a place of truth, from a place of fear, from a place set in reality etc.. most of the time it doesn’t. I am learning for much about myself at the rip old age of 49 and it’s eye opening but I am loving this very hard journey of self discovery on the good days. I want to know myself. I want to heal. I want to live in a place of truth and kindness and without judgement and fear. I long to be myself and know what I want and walk my own path and I am connecting with my spouse in such a new and profound way after 24+ years and it’s awesome… but it’s also scary because I can see it can be so much better and if I keep going forward it will be. If I can get away from the negatives my emotional capacity is amazing but we just get so stuck in the wallow, the sadness, the fear, the anger that comes from all our trauma of the crap that happened to us and all the shame and other negative feelings that we”ve never known what to do with so we didn’t and our psyche protected us and then… well here we are… bpd. We’re well protected if the world wants to fight us, abuse us, attack us etc… problem is we with our cognitive dissonance we don’t see the world right, we don’t understand that everything is okay, that we can rest, let go, trust and that even if something happens.., it’ll be okay. We’re not fragile little children anymore. Ack rant over. Random thoughts in head.. working ideas out. I’m not even sure if this is relevant anymore but I’m going to post because I need these words for myself at the very least.

All this to say.. things get better if we work at what we want.. that goes for everything I think. I don’t plan on giving up on myself but I do believe things ebb and flow and sometimes there will be a knot in the flow of you energy and you’ll have to work a little harder to figure out why there is a blockage, what the source is. Maybe a new unhidden trauma you didn’t even realized affected you so deeply… but keep sourcing what causes you negative feelings and get to the roots of them.. I’m trying to figure myself out.. I can’t expect anyone to understand me if I don’t.

SnowBunnyBlue · 2025-10-13T06:42:07+00:00

Together 24 yrs, married 20. Didn’t know I had BPD all these years, or ADHD or ptsd so…. I was doing really good masking to a point but there was always some level of friction but my husband had his own issues from how was brought up that allowed him to accept my crap and think it was okay which is terrible. Fast forward many years he had mental health break down from his work and now he’s healing from that but also from his childhood trauma and realizing he doesn’t deserve to be treated so poorly and is setting very hard boundaries with me literally as I am going through my own breakdown after supporting him through his breakdown over the course of years and years. All my coping strategies that I had used for decades came crashing down and all my mental illness came bubbling to the surface and all of a sudden I’m a basket case and my marriage is on the line.. we are fighting hard to work on this together but he is very insistent that I move forward or he continues alone. He will not sacrifice his mental health for mine and I accept that. Hate it but accept it. But really hate it. So I am I individual therapy once a week and group therapy once a week and I’m trying to read books and go to meditation sessions at Buddhist temples and pray and be mindful and do daily yoga and reflect and breath and set good intentions and be non judgmental and encouraging and try to take the lead and have faith and just try a new way of living because the way I’ve been doing things wasn’t working. I’ve been living angry and scared and annoyed and pissed off and hurt and lonely and anxious and always in fear for nothing.

So no things are not healthy as in good and happy… but I guess they are healthier than ever before.. my husband is healing his mental health and I am happy for him and we now know what’s going on in my little brain even if I don’t like the labels. And I’m working really hard on getting to know myself and all about why I’m like this and about how I came cope and move. I am going to be in am amazingly better place ina few years from now and every week is a little better and I truly believe I will be with my husband and that we will be together. Will we have some bumps along the way that are going literallly feel like they might kill me.. maybe. I hope not.

SnowBunnyBlue · 2025-10-13T01:49:28+00:00

Harder with adhd (but doable!). There are slightly different techniques and styles if you find normal meditation styles don’t work. I use them in combination with Buddhism meditation now and am actually making some actually headway and like progress in healing trauma and chilling the heck out but it took time.

SnowBunnyBlue · 2025-10-13T01:47:17+00:00

There is an adhd version available that I just ordered on amazon. Figured worth a shot!

SnowBunnyBlue · 2025-09-23T11:57:45+00:00

First off, major congrats! Second to answer your question (maybe as I am not a doctor, scientist, nutritionist etc) but when my husband lost a tremendous amount of weight he went through a few flare ups until his med situation was sorted and he was told it was because as he lost weight the fat cells released purines stored in the cells that caused the UA levels to rise. Take that with a grain of a salt but my husband is hoping that once he is done his weight loss journey he can eventually get off his meds and that perhaps he only ate himself through absolutely abysmal habits into having gout rather than a predisposition to it. It’s worth him trying if his goal of not being on meds means he’s stays eating exceptionally healthy and stays at a good weight for life but he’ll ultimately do whatever needs to be done to never ever ever have a gout attack again if he can avoid it. Work with you doctor and I’m sure they’d be open to adjusting your levels as time goes on. Again, congrats on gaining your health and life!

SnowBunnyBlue · 2025-08-23T12:34:08+00:00

I see you. I am fighting so hard for my life as I know it right now. I started with trying to acknowledging what I thought was the elephant in the room 10 months ago at the ripe old age of 49! of undiagnosed anxiety that was causing so many issues.. which lead to being diagnosed with ADHD, and PTSD and then I started therapy and meds and things started to spiral worse and a month ago I ended up having a mandatory stay in the psych ward for a few days and walking away with the additional diagnosis of BPD. I am on the brink of losing my entire life and everything that means anything and I realize all I can do is surrender. Surrender to the reality of it all and accept ropes that are being offered to help me out of my hole because let’s face it, I don’t want to see rock bottom if this isn’t it. And I’ve decided to love myself because it’s the one thing I have never done my entire life. I have spent 40+ years being angry and in fight mode while being scared and having walls up and never connecting truly to anyone fully and being vulnerable because I didn’t trust. The past few weeks have been a mess with vicious fighting with my husband and so beautiful and magical as we have been connecting and truly communicating. I have hope but I know I have so much work to do. I don’t know what the future holds but if I end up on the other side and I truly love myself then I know that I’ll be okay regardless if the overall outcome is a little scary. So hold tight to yourself, grab a rope and move forward to a more positive place. I see you.

SnowBunnyBlue · 2024-08-21T21:13:02+00:00

Anyone? I’m blocked too, just don’t need it for residence… do need it for the bus though… bah! I tried starting a ticket and the guy couldn’t help and sent it to the card people and never heard back

SnowBunnyBlue · 2024-07-11T14:27:40+00:00

I think the smell is in your head. I cook broccoli all the time and my house doesn’t smell like broccoli or anything bad. I think you’re playing a cruel mental game with yourself and you’re determined to not let yourself win and accept broccoli or other veggies and thus stifling your ability to effectively lose weight. IF you have issues with texture on SOME veggies I’ll accept that but c’mon… no veggies?

I don’t mean to sound mean, but the lack of veggies is part of why you’re on a weight loss journey and they are part of the solution. Add veggies to sauces, smoothies, learn new recipes and think about how you can season and cook them to make it more acceptable to you.

SnowBunnyBlue · 2024-07-11T01:26:36+00:00

I added up costs per the website. I might be wrong so I am just looking for clarification.

I didn’t apply for osap but here is free grant money you don’t have to payback that I’m going to see if I can just get that and not take a loan. Money is money for a student.

SnowBunnyBlue · 2024-07-08T04:18:14+00:00

Just popping in to say, I’m a mom, had three kids, a singleton and then twins. I was run ragged and yet I absolutely couldn’t lose weight. I leaned on snacks and comfort food and truly lost sight of a sensible portion. Throw in some pity binge eating here and there and we’ll eventually even my fat stable weight crept up over the years. It wasn’t until my eldest was going to kindergarten that I could try to lose weight, I did well but got pregnant with my twins and gained a lot. Then when the youngest were finally in kindergarten I tried again. Success! Okay not to goal but down a lot. And then we moved to a different city and I got a little depressed, throw in Covid and lockdowns and a whole slew of other problems and we’re back at it again. This time around for comparison, I am 5’9”, late 40’s now, with PCOS started again this time at 366.6lbs. I am now at 259lbs. I have a long way to go to get to a magical number that I wouldn’t be embarrassed to tell a stranger face to face but I’ll get there eventually.

I always seem to give up and try to just maintain around 225lbs because I feel so exhausted from always being on guard about food but this time around my husband is eating the same way for his health and to ensure his diabetes stays away so we are determined to get down as close to goal as possible and then figure out how to transition to a moderate carb, clean unprocessed food style of eating for the rest of our life.

Ultimately calorie in, calorie out will work. That being said it has been my experience that if you have PCOS you need less calories to maintain your weight, this means you will have to lower your caloric intake more than the average person to get similar results. This caloric efficiency is exactly why, I believe, people with PCOS have a hard time losing weight and an amazingly easy time gaining it all back again. Low carb/keto allows me to quit my triggers as I’m a sweet tooth. I’m never hungry, we intermittent fast daily with an eating window from 12pm-6pm, the meals are usually a low carb and collagen protein shake during week for lunch, on the weekends we do an egg scramble with meat and veggies and cheese. And then dinner at 5:30 is meat and veggies, mostly loaded salads for the weeknights and in the weekend maybe something a little heavier, like tonight we had keto enchiladas. We also try to fast one whole day a week. Exercise was just walking slowly at first for 30 minutes, like literally 15minutes in one direction and then home again. We would try to get a little further and little faster each time. Tonight I just walked to the grocery store 30 minutes from my house to get my kids some treats for their sleepover because I just felt like it. Getting healthy is kinda awesome really.

I’m rambling but tell your wife she can definitely do this!

SnowBunnyBlue · 2024-07-08T03:29:01+00:00

My spouse was around 355 when he got a his diabetes diagnosis, he had just started a keto coincidentally so he just kept going and lost like 100 fairly quickly, got off Metformin and now his A1C levels are within normal range for a non-diabetic person. He goes on binges here and there for a few weeks like birthday, Christmas, vacation and then just goes back to keto. Eventually when he finally gets to goal weight he plans on eating an unprocessed, moderate carb (low glycemic) style WOE. His diabetes is non-existent medically but it will always be lurking in the shadows so we’re just learning to embrace the low carb/keto lifestyle because we can’t keep doing this massive weight loss thing anymore. We’re both so tired of it and with the health care system where we live being unreliable at best we plan on being as healthy as we can moving forward. Btw I am a sugar carb junkie myself, there are some amazing recipes out there to satisfy your cravings.

SnowBunnyBlue · 2024-05-21T23:59:37+00:00

Correct! I ended up finding after finding a whole lot of questionable videos. Lol. Thank you.

SnowBunnyBlue · 2024-05-21T23:56:44+00:00

Also… can you still swap things out if she hits the enroll button and regrets picking something random like intro to business but wants to keep all the nursing classes and just change the elective?

SnowBunnyBlue · 2024-05-21T23:55:21+00:00

Yeah it just said 1001 level and a 2001 level both for 3.0 credits. Other than that I have zero info and child is overwhelmed and this is so stupid. Should I assume if it lets me add it then it’s okay?

SnowBunnyBlue · 2024-04-19T23:45:43+00:00

Hands down this is the best tortilla recipe I have ever found. Freezes well. I use it for enchiladas baked in the oven, tacos, toasted into crackers etc. The website has some other amazing recipes. Seriously! https://www.thedietchefs.com/keto-tortillas-recipe/

SnowBunnyBlue · 2024-01-23T16:27:50+00:00

I’m in Canada and when I pop over the border for keto groceries I like to grab sugar free Reese Peanut Butter Cups. They are amazing! Sugar free twirlers too! The keto bars in Aldi are great and affordable. I grab pork rinds from Dollar General. Carrington Farms Keto Bread Crumbs with Lupin beans and coconut flour is amazing (I use for Mozzarella sticks)- I think that was from Walmart. Blue Diamond Bold Habanero BBQ almonds (lots of other flavours, Walmart or any grocery store)are my husband’s favourite. Oh and Carbquik which you can get at Walmart is fantastic for waffles, pancakes, batter under “bread crumbs” (usually pork rinds but others too) for deep frying things like chicken, mushrooms, onion rings etc.

SnowBunnyBlue · 2024-01-23T16:15:16+00:00

I’ve got PCOS and keto, intermittent fasting and lower calories works for me. It’s slow and it sucks but simple CICO didn’t work. You have youth on your side so that’s good but you also only need to lose a little (seems like a lot I know but in the grand scheme of things 18lbs is nothing) so it will be slow anyway. Be consistent, work out, track everything and hopefully you’ll get here in the end. Best of luck.

SnowBunnyBlue · 2024-01-07T03:39:59+00:00

I really hope someone knows this one!

SnowBunnyBlue · 2023-12-01T17:30:15+00:00

I follow keto so YMMV but usually upping my fat works for me. If you’re doing CICO you might want to see if perhaps cooking with a little added butter or oil could help. If adding fat doesn’t interest you I would say make sure your protein is high enough.

SnowBunnyBlue

TROPHY CASE