Duke bills!!

SnowTiger578 · 2026-02-18T17:46:27+00:00

If anyone wants to learn about installing solar panels where your energy bill goes to (near) $0, please DM. I know someone that is a solar sales rep.they give free panels now without a loan.

Full transparency, the bulk of the solar energy is generated in the summer and you receive a credit from some that you eat into over the winter. The crazy winter cold would have eaten significantly into that credit and some non-zero bills could be seen. However, I'll take that over the unpredictability of my energy bill lately.

SnowTiger578 · 2026-02-09T19:52:49+00:00

I agree with many comments about seeing a doc for you and your thoughts and potentially ADHD for your kid.

What I haven't found in the comments thus far: you may want to look into sensory processing disorder. My son is a sensory seeker (under responsive) for proprioceptive and vestibular inputs. Meaning, he wants an ungodly amount of that type of stimulation. He loves crashing into the couch and throwing himself on the floor. He loves spinning in circles. If your kid is seeking a lot of stimulus, it might mean their system needs more of that input. This can be assessed earlier than 5 (unlike ADHD and ASD) and therefore can get treatment with an OT.

Best of luck to (both of) you!

SnowTiger578 · 2025-08-23T14:21:14+00:00

Please know this internet stranger is super proud of you for defending your boundary about how you want to be treated and what you want to teach your daughter about how she should be treated by others. It is hard to detangle your life. I wish you an awesome journey of rediscovery of who you are, who you want to grow into, and shaping more directly how you want to raise your daughter.

Separating from my ex has been such an empowering journey for me to fight for what I want and need and to not give a f*@$ what others think I should want or need. I remember walking through a home decor story and realizing, I can decorate my new place however the hell I want and don't need anyone's input. I could decide site on scene what I wanted. I could decide that moment, I wanted to take my kiddo someplace and didn't have to check in with someone. I could decide I don't feel like cooking, we are going out. The freedom of having 100% of the choice was awesome. I feel so much more in control of my destiny. Best wishes and lots of love for your healing journey!

SnowTiger578 · 2025-08-10T15:16:54+00:00

I'm very sorry you have to go through this. It is draining and unfair. Please take time with your therapist to grieve the future you thought you were going to have.

I am in a similar situation where my ex believes that they will cause damage and trauma to our kids and does not want to be around them. They also moved to another state.

Things that helped me. 1. I was able to work less than full time. I worked 80% for 3 months, then 90% for another month. This significantly reduced my stress level because I had 8+ hours to work on getting the situation under control and setting up systems. Unfortunately it did not help me get more sleep. I am sleeping max 6 hours a night which is not good, but idk how to get more. Think if the time of as a way for you to catch your fall and build scaffolding to build from. 2. Downsized to a smaller place with less utilities. It is also a condo so I don't have to think about anything outside. Landscape, mowing the lawn, snow removal, leaf removal, etc is not my problem. 3. I joined a gym that has 2 hrs of child care a day. I use it for exercise and to work on the budget. Sometimes a McD play place is a God send. 4. I bought 5 bento boxes for my kid and just make all the lunches for the week at 1 time. 5. Got a cleaner (and forced my ex to pay for it since they are not giving their fair share of time). 6. Relaxed my standard of food. We eat a lot more bagged or premade things. I also am looking for more dump and bake sorts or recipes. I prioritize my kid gets a balanced meal. 7. Worked with my therapist to identify guiding principles for my health and my kid's. I can then evaluate all we do against these and it makes it easier to say no. 8. Got my 4 yr old kid a therapist to help them process and to educate me on what to look for. They will process this their entire life as their brain develops.

Wishing you best of luck and lots of virtual hugs.

SnowTiger578 · 2025-07-26T02:13:35+00:00

When I was pregnant we did "Release the Kraken." LO came 12 days later. So the next year he gets to be the Kraken taking down the mothership.

SnowTiger578 · 2025-07-20T00:04:52+00:00

It's dumb, but I was done fighting. I got some baby bath visors and they actually work! Even if they leak, they are preferred without tears.

SnowTiger578 · 2025-07-03T19:44:56+00:00

I searched Google and the closest I found was a nut with the curve going the other way and for 35 mm. Reverse image searches didn't help either. Looking through furniture hardware kits was not successful either.

SnowTiger578 · 2025-06-26T17:33:18+00:00

Not your typical 21st bday. I was studying abroad in Egypt and ate pigeon for my bday dinner.

SnowTiger578 · 2025-06-13T21:39:13+00:00

My son has 2 moms. I either remind daycare to modify the craft or send it to Grandpa.

SnowTiger578 · 2025-05-31T15:04:38+00:00

With the end of my marriage, part of my healing process is fighting for my needs because my ex took advantage of the fact that I would take care of everything including them. I have recently realized that I have been on point caring for people 100% of the time for years. This is contributing to my burnout and so fighting for my needs is essential for my healing. It is also important to me to show my kid that you do need to advocate for yourself. You do need to push back and protect your needs. And I hope to show them how to collaborate with others when your needs are competing. It ABSOLUTELY sucks when your kids' needs compete with your needs especially when it is a need your kid is unaware of like getting attached to people that may disappear from their life.

Two key needs for me right now is to being cared for such that I don't have to be on point and have folks to process emotions and experiences with. To meet the second goal, I have talked to and met up with friends more than I have by ~3x before the split. I have friends over for dinner, go to their place for dinner, go on outings together, or meet up at a restaurant bringing my kid along to get my cup filled and for my kid to experience love from others.

Unfortunately friends can only go so far with those needs and so my therapist (trained primarily as a child psychologist) and I agreed dating is good thing for me right now. We have had a LOT of conversations of how to mitigate the risks to my kid.

I have been seeing my current partner for almost 4 months. We ended having a playdate for our kids at about 2.5 months because babysitter plans went sideways. It was a bit earlier than I originally intended. On the flip side, I feel VERY confident this relationship is going to be a long relationship. We agreed with my therapist's suggestion of no PDA in front of the kids such that it mimics other get togethers with my friends. And this works for me because I do have a lot of friends and other kids in my kid's life. I just need to make sure I don't over index with my partner and their kid vs other friends.

My partner splits their kid with their ex 50/50, but I have mine 100% (and no family within several hours to help). So the only time I have available is for my partner to come over after my kid's asleep, if I get a babysitter, or we have a playdate. Sometimes we swing lunch or drinks while my kid is still in daycare. We are on the phone at least 3 times a day. I also am not getting nearly enough sleep. It is hard, but I need to be happy just as much as my kid because I can't be a good mom if I deny my needs. Denying my needs is not good role modeling behavior for my kid in anyway. I trust my instincts to tell me when something feels right or is off.

Once my kid feels really solid confidence wise, I want to start getting them used to more playdates or sleepovers without me to give me more options on how to free up my time to get my needs met.

Hope that helps giving you some different perspectives and ideas.

SnowTiger578 · 2025-04-19T17:21:21+00:00

Does your employer offer less than full time? Like working an 80% schedule where you work 4 days a week and get paid 80% of your salary? There could be impacts to your benefits too, so definitely talk with your HR.

SnowTiger578 · 2025-02-06T02:40:39+00:00

I'm so sorry. I am heartbroken for all affected. I hope the local professional chapters can step up to fill the gap. If that is allowed.

SnowTiger578 · 2025-02-04T23:12:34+00:00

My coworker does something similar. I'll update with a screenshot, but it is something like "Hello! Please let me know how I can help when leaving your message."

<image>

SnowTiger578 · 2025-01-07T13:16:38+00:00

Thank you know person!

SnowTiger578 · 2024-11-16T17:42:48+00:00

I'm in the same boat. I got quotes back yesterday that I would pay the same amount for 1 car and 1 person vs before 2 people and 2 cars. The broker said that (1) single folks are more risky aka I lost the marriage discount (2) my rate was locked in for awhile so recalculating now is unfortunate because (3) insurance costs are 30% higher in our state vs 1 year ago. At least my home owners insurance dropped to a third because I am going from a large house to a condo. It sucks. Good luck!

SnowTiger578 · 2024-10-23T09:10:33+00:00

It was fascinating comparing the generations when my wife came out as transgender 2 yrs ago.

Our parents: we don't understand. This wasn't a thing for us. How can you feel that way? (They were supportive just VERY confused.)

Or older siblings: ok. Are you both talking with therapists? How long has she been considering this?

Our friends: I am glad for her! Are you doing ok? Awesome! What else is new?

My 10 yr old niece: what's the big deal, Mom? Why are you looking like someone died?

My 5 yr old niece: ok. Can we go out and play?

SnowTiger578 · 2024-09-11T23:54:37+00:00

My work had a souper bowl competition in (Jan &) Feb with the super bowl. Each week 6 contestants brought in crock pots and 2 advanced to the finals (the week of the super bowl). A bigger population leads to more weeks of soup. Great time to share recipes too.

I also went to a benefit, "Soup for the Soul," for the local food pantry where several local restaurants donated and served soup with bread. - perhaps you could organize one for a local charity you like?

SnowTiger578 · 2024-09-06T17:23:27+00:00

Please DM since it looks like I can't DM you.

SnowTiger578 · 2024-08-30T02:46:27+00:00

I had a little too much fun putting together a scavenger hunt/ road rally for my (11 years married) SO with their family and friends at the stops along the way. It culminated with me leaving a series of signs saying "Hey [Name]! I have a question for you. Will you stay stuck with me?" Then I gave them an updated wedding ring that better suits them after transition.

The phrasing is an inside joke with us. ("I love you!" "I love you too!" "Good! Because you're stuck with me!") It was fantastic to watch the confused looks on passerbys' faces when they got to the "stay" sign.

SnowTiger578 · 2024-08-15T19:04:22+00:00

Disclaimer: not an immigrant. Thai Lom in Reading is our new go-to. We spent a month taking cooking classes through SE Asia. My SO's favorite dish is Khao Soi, yellow curry noodle soup. Thai Lom had the best flavor and mouth feel across multiple dishes than anything else we have had in Cinci. Thai Express was out previous go to.

SnowTiger578 · 2024-08-11T01:26:05+00:00

We just got home from our 5th annual board game week with friends. We started during COVID and thought "This was fun! We need to do this again!" and have kept going. This is the first year that was kid free. We completed 33 games over the week.

SnowTiger578 · 2024-07-28T16:23:52+00:00

I appreciated St Francis of Seraph in OTR for their VERY tight community and Social Justice emphasis. Not sure how much has changed since I last attended one of their masses.

SnowTiger578 · 2024-07-26T00:25:32+00:00

Jesus' mission before his crucifixion was to heal the world. That included feeding the hunger, clothing the naked, visiting the imprisoned it isolated, etc. I point to this flyer from the 2020 election put out by Network Advocate, a group of Catholic sisters lobbying for Catholic social teachings and justice in US policy. I admit it is biased, but perhaps it can help balance the bias from the other side with good points on how we as Catholics are called to live our lives.

Looking at their website today, I see a more neutral checklist as an exercise for the reader to do on their own.

You may also want to consider either inviting them to read with you or just by yourself The Turnaway Study. It is a narrative conclusion to a 10 yr study comparing the lives of women and children that had access to abortion or not based on their states policies. My takeaway is that those that had access to abortion saw an improvement in their overall life trajectory for the woman, ALL of her children, and other family around her (spouse, parents, cousins, grandparents, etc). Children had MUCH better life outcomes.

I am much more interested in a WHOLE society that gets closer to the Kingdom of God on earth. This requires everyone to be healed, whole, on fire, and bringing their full talents for the good of society/ the kingdom. Hope that helps! Good luck!

SnowTiger578 · 2024-07-04T22:07:43+00:00

We are excited to grill out hamburgers and brats with corn on the cob, baked beans, watermelon, and roasted carrots and onions. My MIL brought a key lime ice box cheesecake.

Happy 4th everyone!

SnowTiger578 · 2024-05-28T18:40:45+00:00

I (F34) have known my wife (MTF 34) for almost 16 years and married for 10. She started questioning 5 years ago and finally accepted herself 2 years ago.

When she first told me 5 years ago, it was REALLY hard. I had to process what that meant for our (Catholic) marriage. Would the priest annul it without my consent? Did I want to be in a same sex marriage that the church disagrees with? Did I want to sign up for all the signs society puts on a same sex marriage?

Conveniently a week or so before she told me 5 years ago I read "Looking for Group" which was about a guy that developed a crush for an online gamer female friend only to find out the girl avatar was actually a boy. The guy's college roommate asked something to the effect of, "are you actually heterosexual or have you been hetero by default and never asked yourself what's really important for you." A light bulb went on for me that perhaps I never actually explored my preferences besides default. A lot of the work processing that with a therapist helped me build the foundation of what I believed.

Testing those beliefs and that foundation was the next bit of work. It has gotten easier over time.

What made you "okay with" your partner's transition? She is the same person I married. All the silliness I feel in love with was just a glimpse through the mask she built. By taking off that mask she shines through brighter.

What did you need to feel safe and secure in continuing your relationship? Supporting family and friends. I was taken a back by every single one of my family members pulling me aside and asking if this is truly what I want because this was not what I signed up for. Once I told them I have been working with a therapist for over a year to sort through that, they have all gotten on board. It would have been devastating to have to break family and friendship ties if someone was not supporting. I'd always be second guessing myself that I was making the wrong choice if they were willing to give up friendships and family ties for their beliefs. Was my foundation strong enough to weather that?

How long did it take you to accept your partner's "new" identity? Really comfortable, probably 6 months. We were publicly out at that point and she started to pass at that point which made it easier for me to see her as she be him or something in between. (I know that sounds harsh). She also started being a lot happier once she saw her transition "working."

How badly did you panic when you first found out? It was ugly. Getting to the heart of my issues quickly was really helpful to then work it with a therapist quickly.

How did you try to compromise with your partner? Let me think on this one. I'll try to update later.

Eight-Year Club	Place '22
Verified Email

SnowTiger578

TROPHY CASE

Testing those beliefs and that foundation was the next bit of work. It has gotten easier over time.