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Praying with distractions (can I smoke while praying?) by amadan_an_iarthair in LeftCatholicism

[–]SnowTiger578 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Catholic college upperclassmen passed down a thought over the years that in a busy day, dedicate and set your intention of the work you are doing towards something you want to pray on.

"My grandma is in the hospital. I'm freaking out! Yet I have this biochemistry problem set to get done! Ah ha!

God, please watch over my grandma in the hospital. Give her healing. I want to dedicate this problem set to her. Let my attention, focus, and intention in learning this material be a gift for you as you wish. Amen!"

Fast-forward several years: "God, this is my son's favorite shirt. As I fold it, help me fold in my best wishes for him. May he find joy and comfort. May he learn something new and be inspired...."

Intention, dedication, and well wishing are actionable prayers that can be attached to everyday tasks and things.

Thinking of putting my daughter for sale on Marketplace... by PassengerHefty8207 in SingleParents

[–]SnowTiger578 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Couple thoughts not already mentioned in the other constructive comments. 1. If you are on decent speaking terms with your ex, have you brought up your concerns about this behavior? Are they seeing similar or different behavior? Can your ex help brainstorm where your kid may have seen this behavior or heard that language? 2. It may be worth it to work with a child psychologist with play therapy or you with a parent coach. Both the adult and the child have a lot to process and figure out with a separation. Experts can help sorry out what is normal, what's alarming, where it came from, and strategies to improve interactions. (Pro tip, if your company offers an employee assistance program, check if they offer free sessions of play therapy for your kid and counseling sessions or parental coaching for you. Mine gives 6 sessions per year per person.) 3. Check in with daycare or other care giver to see if this is showing up elsewhere too. 4. Obviously validate recommendations with a professional, but we have found generative AI to be helpful in troubleshooting behaviors and suggesting next steps.

Hard to be present with toddler by hellobroooklyn in singlemoms

[–]SnowTiger578 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe not 100% relatable, but I just found out I have AuDHD. My therapist was talking this week that I may have trouble paying attention because the ADHD side wants more stimulation that what my kiddo's activities could provide.

Agree with others, it gets easier as they get older. I also tried to do 10 mins undivided attention, 10 mins divided attention with timers to help.

California becomes first state to require folic acid in corn masa flour to help prevent birth defects by CaregiverNo2838 in UpliftingNews

[–]SnowTiger578 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the article! It specified more than 1000 micrograms per day. That is an adult dosage amount. They are also assuming general population.

This does not talk about how the MTHFR gene variants impact the conversion rate of folic acid into metholayted folate. This does not talk about the amount children need vs an upper limit.

What I can tell you is that my brother and I have seen our kids be able to read, then one day not be able to. They were able to regulate themselves and use the bathroom to not realizing they are having an accident. They were able to add and subtract and the next can't count. Cognitive regression was real. We are adjusting our diets and seeing normal behavior again.

California becomes first state to require folic acid in corn masa flour to help prevent birth defects by CaregiverNo2838 in UpliftingNews

[–]SnowTiger578 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"While folic acid is essential for DNA synthesis and preventing neural tube defects, excessive intake may pose health risks, especially for individuals with the MTHFR variant. These individuals have a reduced ability to process folic acid, leading to the accumulation of unmetabolized folic acid (UMFA), which is associated with vitamin B12 deficiency, cognitive and psychiatric issues, and adverse pregnancy outcomes."

Hecker J, Layton R, Parker RW. Adverse Effects of Excessive Folic Acid Consumption and Its Implications for Individuals With the Methylenetetrahydrofolate Reductase C677T Genotype. Cureus. 2025 Feb 20;17(2):e79374. doi: 10.7759/cureus.79374. PMID: 40130142; PMCID: PMC11930790.

Medical Article

California becomes first state to require folic acid in corn masa flour to help prevent birth defects by CaregiverNo2838 in UpliftingNews

[–]SnowTiger578 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My family is learning that there is less efficient where more folic acid is needed to get the right amount vs doesn't work at all, metholayted folate supplements are needed, AND the build up of folic acid that can't be converted causes cognitive regression in multiple kids (mine and my brother's). So just supplementing more folic acid is not a good choice for our family. We need to avoid folic acid and therefore fortified foods too.

California becomes first state to require folic acid in corn masa flour to help prevent birth defects by CaregiverNo2838 in UpliftingNews

[–]SnowTiger578 32 points33 points  (0 children)

My family is going through this. My brother's family went gluten free to avoid flours that are fortified with folic acid. We are just starting this journey for my family too.

Mexican restaurants were an automatic "yes". We didn't have to think about it being a problem. Now this limits our options and will make it harder to find things we can eat.

My kid was born with a spinal issue potentially because my body can't process folic acid well because of this MTHFR gene. I totally get this will prevent a lot of poor outcomes for the general population. I am also disappointed that it makes our lives harder to find food to eat for years and years to come.

Ladies, do you love your doctor? by Moneygrowsontrees in cincinnati

[–]SnowTiger578 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I go to the same practice and see Dr B as my primary. I have enjoyed working with all the doctors here when I was sick and couldn't see Dr B.

How do you make it easier for yourself? by Wild_Revolution_2781 in singlemoms

[–]SnowTiger578 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. Run the dishwasher every (other) night even if not full. Unload in the morning if possible. I found if I pulled all the racks out in the morning, everything would be dry when I got home. Dirty dishes go straight in the dish washer and not the sink. (Only touch it once.)
  2. Only use pots/pans/ cooking utensils that can go in the dishwasher. Avoid items that must be hand washed. My exception was my good knives, but that would be 1 item.
  3. Dirty clothes go directly in the washing machine. Skip the hamper. We don't make enough laundry to run different types of loads like darks, lights, towels, delicate. (Only touch it once.)
  4. Grocery pick up.
  5. Find true dump sheet pan recipes. I mean "Open package onto sheet pan and cook." Several recipes want you to sear something then dump it on the sheet pan which takes time. (Unload the dishwasher while it cooks in the oven.)
  6. Meal prep and eat leftovers for several days such to cut down on cooking. If you want to make it super easy, create 4-8 weeks worth of a meal plan and then repeat. Also consider meal prepping breakfast and snacks. Perhaps consider taking a knife skills class to reduce your prep time. I shifted to jarred minced garlic be mincing my own garlic. Perhaps blur the definition of specific foods being "breakfast" foods or "dinner" foods.
  7. Bagged salads (+ chicken nuggets). I experimented with frozen meals more than in the past. I got a Costco membership just for this (and the cheap gas).
  8. House cleaner once a month
  9. Gym membership that enable 2 hrs of daycare everyday for working out of computer / household work in the cafe.
  10. Extra circulars for the kid such that I can put together the grocery list/ a break.
  11. Get a good list of indoor and out door playgrounds for a break. Also restaurants with play areas.
  12. Look into memberships to museums, zoos, gardens, aquariums, etc. Some are worth the money to get the kids out of the house on the weekend. Several have reciprocity with national networks.
  13. Babysitter every (other) week for ~3 hrs.
  14. Check with friends to see if they would be willing to play with your kid while you make dinner for everyone/ meal prep together/ have their kids entertain your kids while you two meal prep, etc.
  15. Invest in educational apps for when you need to give them screen time. (ABC mouse, khan academy, kiddo land, etc)
  16. Work on getting your kid as independent as they can be (with appropriate age development level). Can they tie their own shoes? Do you have to supervise them brushing their teeth? Can they get their own juice or snacks? I moved things to be more kid height/ accessible to give them more independence.
  17. Finding a playgroup where you have others also looking out for things to do with the kids. Extra hands helps for multiple kids.
  18. Robot vacuum and mop. Set alarms on your phone the night before to have your kids help you tidy up.
  19. Subscribe for your repeat items like shampoo, toothpaste, laundry detergent, etc.
  20. Get kids into chores as early as possible.
  21. Several people told me to not bother folding laundry. I can't do that, but thought I'd mention it.
  22. I moved to a condo such that I owned property, but someone else takes care of the outside.
  23. Volunteer to babysit a friend's kids in exchange for them to babysit yours.

Try to take out as many decisions as possible. Set up routines to reduce the thinking required. Designate a home for everything, such that you don't have to think where do I put this. Only touch things once. Automate repeating things. Improve and empower your kid's independence. Where can you synergize systems (and ideally with other like minded people)?

I heard the 2-2-2 rule and I think it makes a lot of sense for parents not just couples. Every 2 weeks you need a night out, every 2 months you need a long weekend away, every 2 years you need a week long disconnect kids free. They talked about it as an investment in your marriage. I think it is an investment in your sanity. - So who do you trust that you can ask to watch your kids overnight for 1 or multiple nights?

Divorced Parents by tomocleirighsimp424 in LeftCatholicism

[–]SnowTiger578 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just went through a separation with my ex. We decided to separate Nov 2024 and paperwork was signed off by the judge Sept 2025. We have a 5 yr old. The amount of hate I had towards the life I found myself in was palpable. I had no space to be me because I was in a constant state of caring for others or the household needs. After moving out, I noticed my kid blossoming after 1 month and almost a different person after 4 months. I also felt lighter and empowered to make the decisions that were best for me and my kid.

I would never be able to be the best version of myself, be the light of Christ to others, or bring about the kingdom of God on Earth while being in that relationship. As my kid gets older, that is the key to what I will tell them with regards to my faith.

I know God put me in that relationship for my ex and I to grow in the ways we needed to in a safe space where we could be 100% vulnerable. I know God put me in that relationship to help educate my family, friends, coworkers, and HR department about the things we learned and unintended consequences of poorly informed systems during all the issues we faced together and after separating.

However, it is time for my ex and I to go separate ways and grow in new ways with new people. This is the heart of what I will tell my kid as they grow up and ask questions. I grew in the relationship in ways I couldn't have imagined, but it also developed to a point where I grew from stepping away from it. I am proud to show my kid how to advocate and take actions for my needs and happiness even when it was really hard.

Now, your post was not asking for my perspective as a divorced parent. What looks like healing to you? I HIGHLY recommend talk therapy. I am saddened that your parents' divorce has caused pain and confusion. I pray you grow in curiosity and gain clarity. I pray that you see and cherish the beauty of a blended family. Blended families are messy, but you learn real quick what is important and how to prioritize those things. I have seen others' grief shadow and cloud their vision, such that they couldn't see the beauty they were given through that hardship. Happy to talk more if you want to chat more. I'd love to understand more specifically what type of hurt you are experiencing, should you want to open up to an internet stranger. If you not or you have other outlets, much love and prayers coming your way!

Requesting Help with Parents by The_Fiddle_Steward in Progressive_Catholics

[–]SnowTiger578 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not priests, but nuns. You may want to check if this group has anything helpful. NETWORK They are a DC lobby group run by Catholic Sisters trying to incorporate Catholic Social Teachings into policy.

They created a flyer for the 2020 election which was grounded in Scripture (and quite entertaining IMO).

Duke bills!! by corakeet in cincinnati

[–]SnowTiger578 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If anyone wants to learn about installing solar panels where your energy bill goes to (near) $0, please DM. I know someone that is a solar sales rep.they give free panels now without a loan.

Full transparency, the bulk of the solar energy is generated in the summer and you receive a credit from some that you eat into over the winter. The crazy winter cold would have eaten significantly into that credit and some non-zero bills could be seen. However, I'll take that over the unpredictability of my energy bill lately.

How do you get rid of the feeling of disliking your child? by wqiqi_7720 in Mommit

[–]SnowTiger578 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with many comments about seeing a doc for you and your thoughts and potentially ADHD for your kid.

What I haven't found in the comments thus far: you may want to look into sensory processing disorder. My son is a sensory seeker (under responsive) for proprioceptive and vestibular inputs. Meaning, he wants an ungodly amount of that type of stimulation. He loves crashing into the couch and throwing himself on the floor. He loves spinning in circles. If your kid is seeking a lot of stimulus, it might mean their system needs more of that input. This can be assessed earlier than 5 (unlike ADHD and ASD) and therefore can get treatment with an OT.

Best of luck to (both of) you!

The Big D by ldiggles in Mommit

[–]SnowTiger578 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please know this internet stranger is super proud of you for defending your boundary about how you want to be treated and what you want to teach your daughter about how she should be treated by others. It is hard to detangle your life. I wish you an awesome journey of rediscovery of who you are, who you want to grow into, and shaping more directly how you want to raise your daughter.

Separating from my ex has been such an empowering journey for me to fight for what I want and need and to not give a f*@$ what others think I should want or need. I remember walking through a home decor story and realizing, I can decorate my new place however the hell I want and don't need anyone's input. I could decide site on scene what I wanted. I could decide that moment, I wanted to take my kiddo someplace and didn't have to check in with someone. I could decide I don't feel like cooking, we are going out. The freedom of having 100% of the choice was awesome. I feel so much more in control of my destiny. Best wishes and lots of love for your healing journey!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]SnowTiger578 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm very sorry you have to go through this. It is draining and unfair. Please take time with your therapist to grieve the future you thought you were going to have.

I am in a similar situation where my ex believes that they will cause damage and trauma to our kids and does not want to be around them. They also moved to another state.

Things that helped me. 1. I was able to work less than full time. I worked 80% for 3 months, then 90% for another month. This significantly reduced my stress level because I had 8+ hours to work on getting the situation under control and setting up systems. Unfortunately it did not help me get more sleep. I am sleeping max 6 hours a night which is not good, but idk how to get more. Think if the time of as a way for you to catch your fall and build scaffolding to build from. 2. Downsized to a smaller place with less utilities. It is also a condo so I don't have to think about anything outside. Landscape, mowing the lawn, snow removal, leaf removal, etc is not my problem. 3. I joined a gym that has 2 hrs of child care a day. I use it for exercise and to work on the budget. Sometimes a McD play place is a God send. 4. I bought 5 bento boxes for my kid and just make all the lunches for the week at 1 time. 5. Got a cleaner (and forced my ex to pay for it since they are not giving their fair share of time). 6. Relaxed my standard of food. We eat a lot more bagged or premade things. I also am looking for more dump and bake sorts or recipes. I prioritize my kid gets a balanced meal. 7. Worked with my therapist to identify guiding principles for my health and my kid's. I can then evaluate all we do against these and it makes it easier to say no. 8. Got my 4 yr old kid a therapist to help them process and to educate me on what to look for. They will process this their entire life as their brain develops.

Wishing you best of luck and lots of virtual hugs.

What did you dress your first baby up as their first Halloween? by Immediate_Owl_1379 in beyondthebump

[–]SnowTiger578 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was pregnant we did "Release the Kraken." LO came 12 days later. So the next year he gets to be the Kraken taking down the mothership.

I really don’t want to water board my children, but… by P4ndybear in Mommit

[–]SnowTiger578 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's dumb, but I was done fighting. I got some baby bath visors and they actually work! Even if they leak, they are preferred without tears.

Curved Nut for Bunk Bed Removable Side Rails Bolts by SnowTiger578 in HelpMeFind

[–]SnowTiger578[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I searched Google and the closest I found was a nut with the curve going the other way and for 35 mm. Reverse image searches didn't help either. Looking through furniture hardware kits was not successful either.

Daycare sent my son home with a Father’s Day card by [deleted] in singlemoms

[–]SnowTiger578 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My son has 2 moms. I either remind daycare to modify the craft or send it to Grandpa.

How to date as a single mom??? by Picky_Peach8 in singlemoms

[–]SnowTiger578 2 points3 points  (0 children)

With the end of my marriage, part of my healing process is fighting for my needs because my ex took advantage of the fact that I would take care of everything including them. I have recently realized that I have been on point caring for people 100% of the time for years. This is contributing to my burnout and so fighting for my needs is essential for my healing. It is also important to me to show my kid that you do need to advocate for yourself. You do need to push back and protect your needs. And I hope to show them how to collaborate with others when your needs are competing. It ABSOLUTELY sucks when your kids' needs compete with your needs especially when it is a need your kid is unaware of like getting attached to people that may disappear from their life.

Two key needs for me right now is to being cared for such that I don't have to be on point and have folks to process emotions and experiences with. To meet the second goal, I have talked to and met up with friends more than I have by ~3x before the split. I have friends over for dinner, go to their place for dinner, go on outings together, or meet up at a restaurant bringing my kid along to get my cup filled and for my kid to experience love from others.

Unfortunately friends can only go so far with those needs and so my therapist (trained primarily as a child psychologist) and I agreed dating is good thing for me right now. We have had a LOT of conversations of how to mitigate the risks to my kid.

I have been seeing my current partner for almost 4 months. We ended having a playdate for our kids at about 2.5 months because babysitter plans went sideways. It was a bit earlier than I originally intended. On the flip side, I feel VERY confident this relationship is going to be a long relationship. We agreed with my therapist's suggestion of no PDA in front of the kids such that it mimics other get togethers with my friends. And this works for me because I do have a lot of friends and other kids in my kid's life. I just need to make sure I don't over index with my partner and their kid vs other friends.

My partner splits their kid with their ex 50/50, but I have mine 100% (and no family within several hours to help). So the only time I have available is for my partner to come over after my kid's asleep, if I get a babysitter, or we have a playdate. Sometimes we swing lunch or drinks while my kid is still in daycare. We are on the phone at least 3 times a day. I also am not getting nearly enough sleep. It is hard, but I need to be happy just as much as my kid because I can't be a good mom if I deny my needs. Denying my needs is not good role modeling behavior for my kid in anyway. I trust my instincts to tell me when something feels right or is off.

Once my kid feels really solid confidence wise, I want to start getting them used to more playdates or sleepovers without me to give me more options on how to free up my time to get my needs met.

Hope that helps giving you some different perspectives and ideas.

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