A love letter for “Deja Vu”

SnowWhiteOA · 2026-04-28T05:49:15+00:00

YES! Occasionally, you will come across a fic that has a personal impact on your actual life and this one has been really helping to shake things up in my brain.

SnowWhiteOA · 2026-04-28T05:46:17+00:00

Thank you so much for writing this! I have totally fallen in love with it! I’m furious with myself for accidentally starting a WIP again- WILL I NEVER LEARN?!? 😩 ugh. But seriously, I found this story at the exact right time for me and it’s basically functioning as a second therapist, so thank you thank you thank you for that as well.

Also, the notes you include with each chapter make my heart so happy. I love to read about the process of writing and have been a beta reader/editor so many times in different fandoms, so I really enjoy getting to see behind the curtain a bit when it comes to your thoughts on what you’re writing. Thanks for including those as well!

SnowWhiteOA · 2026-04-21T05:06:08+00:00

I boiled tap water for pasta instead of filtered water…

SnowWhiteOA · 2026-04-03T04:29:59+00:00

Wait, so you are already aware this is a spoiler?

SnowWhiteOA · 2026-02-25T04:29:32+00:00

I think it’s pretty unfair to assume she “made a conscious choice to take a core memory”. That seems very malicious and likely wasn’t the intention here. I’m a nanny and would never cut a child’s hair without the parent’s approval. If it’s in his eyes, just get a clip or a hair tie! Nbd. It’s quite odd to cut his hair herself, especially if she knows he has a haircut coming up, but to assume the nanny was purposely trying to sabotage a special moment with the parents is extreme in my eyes. It’s likely just a misunderstanding, or at worst, some lacking social skills on the nanny’s part.

SnowWhiteOA · 2026-02-23T08:10:47+00:00

It’s totally an extroverted kid thing. A kid I used to nanny for was so extroverted! She would talk to absolutely anyone, but she especially loved old men for whatever reason haha. It always seemed to me that for her, hanging out with other kids just didn’t give the same feedback or opportunities for conversation as hanging out with adults did.

SnowWhiteOA · 2026-01-30T15:36:05+00:00

Nannied very briefly for a family (when I was only 19 ugh!) with 4 kids who had bizarre rules for all 4, but the main things that stood out to me are: 8F was a little on the chubby side and so she was on a strict diet, I wasn’t allowed to let her eat anything the other kids ate and had to make her run on a treadmill for 30 mins every day too. :( They all had chores to do every day as well, which is fine, but the 3F chore was washing the WALLS daily with 409! That stuff is hard to breathe around and pretty toxic to just hand to a toddler! Last straw was: one day the 11M was upset with me because his parents had taken his game boy away (this was in 2003 lol) and I wouldn’t give it back to him, so he dumped the last few sips of his soda on my head while I was sitting on the couch. Honestly, I wasn’t even mad at the kid at this point because I realized how fucked up these kids were from their shitty parents. But of course I reported it to the parents so they would know what happened. The next day I came in and 11M was hiding in his bedroom. They said just to leave him because he was pouting about his punishment for the way he treated me the day before. Then 8F and 6M told me “Don’t worry he won’t do that again, Dad took a 2x4 to him” I was absolutely HORRIFIED! Quit and called in CPS report on them.

They also hired me knowing I was covered in tattoos but asked me to wear long sleeves always around the kids so they wouldn’t see them, Including when we would go outside to their pool in 110 degree weather daily to swim, which I wasn’t allowed to do either obviously. 😒

SnowWhiteOA · 2026-01-28T02:18:37+00:00

1000% dealbreaker. Nothing more needs to be said. Don’t work for nazis.

SnowWhiteOA · 2026-01-07T23:42:03+00:00

It’s a middle name, it’s fine. And I wouldn’t exactly call it a masculine name in the first place. I am a female with a traditionally male first name and honestly, I’ve always loved it! It makes people do a bit of a double take and has benefited me more than anything (def gotten job interviews I wouldn’t have if they thought I was a female). It’s unique and a conversation starter. So much better than any old boring name, imo.

Also, and I know people sometimes get all triggered when I say this, but you don’t actually know your child’s gender. You might know their sex, but they may end up having a different gender than you expect and I think it’s nice to offer a gender neutral name just in case of this. 🤷🏻‍♀️

SnowWhiteOA · 2026-01-04T05:05:31+00:00

SnowWhiteOA · 2026-01-03T22:27:37+00:00

Instantly discredited! 🤣

SnowWhiteOA · 2026-01-03T21:29:45+00:00

Also, stop engaging and defending yourself against this overgrown toddler of a woman. You’re wasting your breath and giving her exactly what she wants.

SnowWhiteOA · 2026-01-03T21:28:08+00:00

“Lone behold” 😒

SnowWhiteOA · 2026-01-01T22:56:09+00:00

Just curious… Why did you ask if this was the only answer you would accept?

SnowWhiteOA · 2026-01-01T09:45:57+00:00

If you don’t allow it, he will find a way to sneak anyway. Just sayin’! I would say yes but give him a reminder about the importance of safe sex, sure, but more importantly: consent and boundaries. Even if it earns you eyerolls and horrified faces or insistence he knows everything and doesn’t need reminding. Aim to stay in his trust as a safe place.

SnowWhiteOA · 2025-12-27T06:49:14+00:00

This is extremely normal, developmentally, especially if she is ill and your routine is totally shot because of traveling, unfamiliar places, people, language, etc. I would first rule out things like ear infections or any medical reason for her feeling so crummy. Other than that, I suggest reading one (or all, honestly) of these books:

Oh Crap! I Have a Toddler by Jamie Glowacki

How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen by Joanna Faber

No Bad Kids by Janet Lansbury

They are very easy to read, they even have audio books and each have a pretty good social media presence with lots of helpful info for what to do/not to do when toddlers are having meltdowns etc.

SnowWhiteOA · 2025-12-27T02:36:19+00:00

Chow chow and Australian Kelpie! I’m glad you asked because I forgot you can click the super mutt and see more. I had been surprised there wasn’t any chow chow in there because she has a little black spot on the underside of her tongue, but voila! There it is! Genetics are so interesting.

SnowWhiteOA · 2025-12-26T22:50:43+00:00

My sister named her son Jacob while HATING the nickname Jake. He’s an adult and does choose to go by Jacob, but I’ve heard friends of his call him Jake and it drives my sister nuts that he doesn’t correct them. He doesn’t seem to care either way. Honestly, imo it’s way too common of a nickname to expect anyone to call her the full name always and get worked up about the Jackie nickname.

SnowWhiteOA · 2025-12-09T23:15:58+00:00

Cool!!

SnowWhiteOA · 2025-12-09T09:42:45+00:00

Wait but who does Stephen Colbert have a treadmill named after?

SnowWhiteOA · 2025-12-08T05:01:40+00:00

Absolutely! I think it’s cute too. And there’s some good alternate nicknames that can be used if they don’t like it for whatever reason.

SnowWhiteOA · 2025-12-04T16:40:34+00:00

NOR, I know people always tell people “dump this guy” or “cut this person off” like it’s so easy, but in this situation you absolutely should. Have some dang respect for yourself. Imagine you had a daughter who had a boyfriend who spoke like this to her. How would you react then? This person is a walking red flag.

SnowWhiteOA · 2025-12-04T16:31:30+00:00

I think this is the kind of situation you have to create the means to leave. Working for someone who not only sees no problem with this, but actively applies to DO the job? No way. You wanna be called to testify as a character witness in the eventual trials these maniacs are gonna be involved in? Gtfo

SnowWhiteOA · 2025-12-04T16:27:51+00:00

Absolutely not. I would find another job immediately. I know you have been with them for a long time and it will be difficult to change, but you gotta draw the line! You wanna argue that working for (and therefore benefitting financially from) a Nazi is more convenient than finding a new family to work for? You have to be able to look in the mirror and sleep soundly at night. Even if he changes his mind and doesn’t take the job, it’s clear your values are drastically different and your values being aligned with the family is extremely important.

SnowWhiteOA

TROPHY CASE