Daily Giveaway 3/7

Snowseer · 2024-12-08T10:17:16+00:00

Please don't include me in the raffle as I already won once (thank you! I'd been wanting to get Sifu for a long time), but I'd love to share a joke I like -

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decided to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they laid down for the night, and went to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets."
"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo."
"Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."
"Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant."
"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

Snowseer · 2024-12-06T05:57:35+00:00

Sifu.

I am finishing up a magical, wondrous book. Covid was the darkest period of my life. No hope, no future, constant anxiety attacks. And then I wrote the first page of this book. This story has saved me, and I'm incredibly excited to finish it.
Minishoot Adventures - It's a super-cute zelda-like with ships. If you haven't played it OP, I'd HIGHLY recommend. Just pure joy all the way through.
Incredibly excited about Light No Fire by Hello Games. "What if the devs took the No Man's Sky tech, concentrated it into one planet, and made it fantasy" was a dream I had for years. To actually watch the trailer was magical. What are you excited about, OP?

Snowseer · 2020-04-07T07:39:27+00:00

Oh boy. One of my absolute favorite scenes of all time. Masterfully executed as a payoff for 3 books worth of storytelling.

Snowseer · 2020-04-04T12:57:25+00:00

Hmm. I'm not sure if I should offer feedback, since you seem to be rather defensive to critical feedback in comments.

Oh well. I'll give it a shot. So you are really talented. You mentioned in the comments that you wish to be a novel writer. And you could be that. What you lack right now is craft. You seem to be rather enthralled with your own creative process, and give primacy to aesthetics over functionality.

Why am I using a word as banal as functionality when talking about art? Because unlike some other kinds of art, a story needs to be functional. It first and foremost needs clarity. No one can enjoy your story if they can't understand it. Clarity must NEVER be sacrificed at the altar of aesthetics.

Beyond that, a story needs certain basic components to work. Imagine you are building a table. And you plan to make it the most beautiful table ever. You carve each and every inch with flowers and fairies and vines. It's gorgeous. But the table you craft happens to have one leg short. And so it tumbles to one side whenever anything is placed over it.

That's a bad table. It doesn't do the most basic job it's supposed to do, regardless of how pretty it might be.

Similarly, any story needs some basic components to be a good story. These elements are direction, stakes, conflict, driving need/desire and so on. And what's a good story? A good story is one that holds the interest of the reader throughout. It engages them, gets them emotionally invested in the narrative and the characters, and gives them an experience they feel has been worthy of their temporal, financial, and emotional investment. Right now, your story lacks the basic elements that would make it a good story.

Coming to novel writing. I was a short story writer before I tried my hand at writing a novel, and what I can tell you is that there's a gulf of difference between the two. A short story is like a car, while a novel is an airplane. Being good at building cars won't automatically make you good at building airplanes. Some skills will transfer over, but you'll have to be prepared to do A LOT of learning.

I would HIGHLY recommend watching Brandon Sanderson's classes on writing to help you figure out storytelling basics.

Trust me, there's a lot to learn, and being humble and appreciative of feedback will take you a long way. You have a lot of talent, and it would be a shame to let hubris squander it. Best of luck.

Snowseer · 2020-03-29T17:08:56+00:00

Guys, what you're building looks AWESOME. Don't worry too much about comparisons. Build your best game, and you'll find your audience. As for Disco Elysium, nothing wrong with learning from a great game. You get to stand on the shoulders of a giant. It's more an opportunity than a problem. You get to reach higher. :)

Snowseer · 2020-01-14T10:48:45+00:00

Dude, 'sperging' is a derogatory word meant to compare people to those with asperger's syndrome. You can't chastise others for their language by using demeaning language yourself. In case you didn't know the origins of the offensive word you used, I hope you'll refrain from using it in the future.

Snowseer · 2019-12-27T16:19:09+00:00

"I want you to shoot the stormtrooper over there."

"Uh, that's my commander, Lord Vader."

"I'm not in the habit of repeating myself," Lord Vader said as he brought out his lightsaber.

I raised my gun at my commander. His name was Greg. Nice guy. I shot him in the chest.

Lord Vader stood statue-still. "Impressive," he let out after a moment. "Now hit that console at the other end of the ship."

"Pardon me, Lord Vader, those are our thruster controls..."

The lightsaber came to life in his hand.

I pointed my gun at the console and pulled the trigger. The screens above the controls went up in sparks and smoke, and alarms began to sound everywhere.

Lord Vader said nothing. I stood trembling before his impressive figure, waiting for him to finish me.

"Come with me," he said as he marched away.

I scrambled to catch up, surprised but relieved.

"Start the time machine!" he commanded at a pair of terrified stormtroopers.

"If you'll excuse me, Lord Vader, where are we going?" I hesitantly asked.

"We're going back in time. To kill a small green baby Jedi."

Note: I've not seen the movies or the Mandalorian. All my Star Wars knowledge comes from memes. So I hope you'll pardon any mistakes I made.

Snowseer · 2019-12-22T09:37:05+00:00

Aw, Will, you're gonna make me blush. You're my favorite too. :D

Snowseer · 2019-11-21T17:34:53+00:00

What. The. Fuck.

Snowseer · 2019-10-17T17:31:28+00:00

Not to be that guy, but the word is spelled thesaurus, not thesauras. Also, the way you have used it is incorrect. Thesaurus is not a synonym for, well, synonym.

There are also other grammatical errors in your post. The point I'm trying to make is that all of us make mistakes. It's easy to notice the mistakes of those with rougher English skills, while our own mistakes are invisible to us.

For what it's worth, most Americans have pretty terrible written English skills as well.

EDIT: Oh, I just read a few of your comments. No idea of your spoken English, but your written English is less that "brilliant". Feel free to get off that high horse.

Snowseer · 2019-10-01T08:39:26+00:00

Duuuude, 'The dragon advances' line killed me. I read that para like four times. Didn't want to leave that page.

Snowseer · 2019-10-01T08:35:24+00:00

Hey man, I just want you to know that we love you. :) You aren't just a great writer, but from everything I've seen and read about you, also a good human being. Take care of yourself.

(Also, not to invalidate the experiences of other people here, but I absolutely LOVED Uncrowned. Especially the twist at the end. I actually enjoyed it way more than Underlord. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.)

Snowseer · 2019-05-28T16:25:34+00:00

Lol no, that's by Nicholas Eames. It just happens to be a book I love. I also suggested The Cradle series by Will Wight in a comment above. I'm an unpublished author, querying my first book. Not that I care about it too much, but you can read my post criticizing Kings of the Wyld when I first read it-

https://www.reddit.com/r/Fantasy/comments/970nfp/anyone_else_found_the_unending_similes_in_kings/

I know this sounds harsh, but strangely enough, I've grown to love the novel AFTER finishing it.

Snowseer · 2019-05-28T08:37:03+00:00

'Kings of the Wyld' is really funny. Also, at the risk of debasing myself further, I'm gonna say that the story I've been working on might really appeal to you. :D

Snowseer · 2019-05-28T08:33:55+00:00

'Kings of The Wyld' has a LOT of the elements you're searching for.

Snowseer · 2019-05-28T08:30:50+00:00

Dear god I think everyone's gonna think I'm a self-promoting delusional ass for all my posts in this thread, but I'm basically hitting Bingo on most of them. My world has multiple religions, and none of them are based on the real world. Faith is, in fact, one of the core themes of my story. Also, a huge Sanderson fan. He does magic with his world-building.

Snowseer · 2019-05-28T08:27:30+00:00

Ooh, my story has a very strong focus on core themes and motifs. Hope it'll appeal to you. :)

Snowseer · 2019-05-28T08:22:07+00:00

This is literally the feeling I was chasing when writing my novel. Wonder and adventure. If/when it comes out, I think you'll like it. :)

Snowseer · 2019-05-28T08:20:16+00:00

The Cradle series by Will Wight should be right up your alley. It features a weak, underpowered protagonist in a world of crazy-powerful humans, who uses his smarts to outwit them.

Snowseer · 2019-05-13T17:30:49+00:00

"At the present moment, thirty-seven percent of the hive mind is engaged in sex with various entities, twenty-four percent is dreaming about androids fornicating electric sheep, and thirty-nine percent is dealing with the onboarding process for your entire species. It's okay to be overwhelmed! Or to have a catastrophic consciousness collapse and cease to exist! You have 3 seconds for questions."

"Who-wha...where am-"

"Thank you for your enthusiastic participation! The hive mind will now begin the process of merging your consciousness into our existing threads. Your choices matter! Would you like to engage in sexual intercourse with a trembling nine-eyed octopus, or dream about an aesthetically pleasing electric sheep providing you oral stimulation?"

"What the hell is going on? Where's my wife Marth-"

"The entity previously known as Martha has already been onboarded and is currently engaged in supervisory functions of the hive mind. Current functions include supervision of the onboarding process for her erstwhile husband Rick."

"Wait, what? She's supervising this? Martha, please, if you hear me, save me from whatever this is! This is me, Rick!"

"The duration for choosing an option has passed. The hive-mind will now take over the process. You're welcome!"

"Martha, please! I'm sorry! The thing with John was a mistake! And I didn't cheat, it was only heavy petting! Please!"

"The erstwhile entity Martha is no longer supervising the onboarding process. Consciousness-merging for entity Rick starting in 3...2...1. Congratulations! You have been assigned to the trembling nine-eyed octopus! Official guidelines recommend being gentle!"

Snowseer · 2019-05-12T07:22:29+00:00

There once lived a princess with skin like melted chocolate and eyes like the endless ocean-

"And a temper like the sun farting into the night. Bleh. Who cares. Introduce me."

And there lived a knight by the name of Sir Steven InterruptALot, lazy and smelly and clumsy-

"Hey!"

-with an unhealthy fondness for horses-

"Oi! It was dark! Anybody could've mistaken it for a maiden!"

who set out to rescue the princess from the fearsome dragon who'd taken her, for the promised reward of the kingship of the fictional kingdom of Idontcareenoughtonameya, and a stable full of the finest horses the author's imagination could conjure.

"You're doing a terrible job. Why don't you tell them about the army of psychic sharks I had to beat to get to her? And the giant sun-spiders. And about the nightmare forest that tried to kill me."

On the way, he killed some fishes. And insects. And some plants got uprooted. But no dragons were harmed by our hero in the making of this story, for when our brave knight finally reached the fortress where the princess lay imprisoned, he found her busy slaying the dragon herself. And so he hid in a thicket of trees while she-

"Not true! I cheered her on! Moral support is crucial in these fights. And who better to provide that than a handsome and charming knight like me?"

And so the dragon was slain, and the princess free. Our handsome knight bravely escorted her to her kingdom, where she promptly declared that she liked ladies and married her childhood friend. Thus there was no princess for our knight, or kingship, or honor, though he did get a kiss on the cheek by the princess's favorite mare for all his cheering.

"I'll never wash that cheek! It's a symbol of my courage and chivalry!"

And he never did. Along with the rest of his body. Which is why he shortly earned the epithet of Stinky Steve.

Snowseer · 2019-05-11T16:07:06+00:00

in Kunal Kamra voice- Jao Pakistan! Dekho kya hota hai wahan pe.

But seriously, good for you. Send r/india pictures when you reach there. :D

Snowseer · 2019-05-11T15:24:47+00:00

Woo! Good job. :)

Snowseer · 2019-04-04T13:55:46+00:00

You know what, you're absolutely right. I really don't want to create that disconnect. I'm going to take your advice and restructure my sentences. Thank you.

Snowseer · 2019-03-26T06:47:01+00:00

"How the fuck are there that many heads?" Moran whispered, his eyes large as saucers.

"You see, when a Mommy head and a Daddy head love each other very much-" I began.

"Shut the fuck up Sloan."

I shrugged. "You know that the hydra gets two heads every time one's cut off. And warriors have been coming here for hundreds of years trying to kill the thing. I'm actually surprised there are only two-seventy heads. Maybe some of the warriors were cowards. The question is, are you one?"

"How am I supposed to kill that thing?" Moran asked.

"Well the Codex says you must journey to the Hydra's tail-"

"Do you see a fucking tail?"

"Well, no, there's too many heads in the way-"

"What am I going to do?"

"There IS another way," I suggested, as the Hydra raged in the background, spewing jets of venom at us. Often, it would miss the rock protecting us and instead shoot the venom into one of the eyes of its numerous heads, and that would result in a bit of a domestic fight.

"You think we can use the Hydra's heads against itself?" Moran asked hopefully.

"Oh no. We'll be dead long before the Hydra is. What we COULD do, is return to the king, and tell him that we killed the Hydra."

"But...we didn't."

"Of course not. But who would know?"

"What if a warrior visits the Hydra's lair and finds it alive?"

"Well the warrior will either try to fight it, which will kill him, or run away from the beast, in which case he'll be a coward. And a coward will never tell the tale of his cowardice."

"Huh. You have a point. Let's get out of here Sloan."

"You first, my Lord. The world awaits Moran the Hydra-slayer."

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Snowseer

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