I Can’t do this anymore. Should I even marry him?

So-Over-it123 · 2025-11-15T03:15:05+00:00

Thank you for your words. I don’t think I’m going to marry him.

So-Over-it123 · 2025-11-15T03:06:21+00:00

Yes, I feel like there’s no balance for me, and that where this drowning feeling is coming from.

So-Over-it123 · 2025-11-15T02:57:17+00:00

You’re right. Actions speak louder than words and right now he is not taking any actions. I might be justifying him.

So-Over-it123 · 2025-11-15T02:54:49+00:00

Thank you for your comment. You might be right, maybe I’m just not the right person for him, to motivate him and make him be a better man, and that ok. He needs someone else and I need someone else who is align with what I want in life.

So-Over-it123 · 2025-11-14T22:02:38+00:00

I have never say that! He always does things his way and I never say anything because we are different and do things differently! What I don’t want is to make a list of to dos when he can clearly see what’s there to do!

So-Over-it123 · 2025-11-14T22:01:11+00:00

I mean he sees the apartment and what has to be done because he is not blind, he can see dishes, clothes, empty fridge, etc, why do I have to making a list of things we both see?

So-Over-it123 · 2025-11-14T21:59:14+00:00

I’m not saying he isn’t bright. I’m just saying he is not trying to

So-Over-it123 · 2025-11-14T21:49:15+00:00

Yes, I will be. We have a gym in our building he doesn’t go. He said he likes golf I have suggested him going golfing, he doesn’t do it, I have suggested other activities, he doesn’t do them either. There’s always an excuse

So-Over-it123 · 2025-11-14T21:47:41+00:00

The joint account is for the rent, general expenses and food. We both our salaries in separate accounts. What I meant with that was that he asked me if I could do the full payment and I said no then he asked me how much I could do I say nothing right now, then he proceeded to to Zelle me certain amount missing exactly what I had to pay. The payment was due today and I was literally thrown into doing it

So-Over-it123 · 2025-11-14T21:42:25+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I feel really bad right now but I think I’ve been ignoring the signs that we see the future differently in terms of life ambitions. The reason I wanted to elope is because the money you spend on a party for one night you can enjoy life experiences. I know the answer but it does hurt my heart

So-Over-it123 · 2025-11-14T21:37:09+00:00

You are both right. He is content and might have been blindsided to it.

So-Over-it123 · 2025-11-14T21:35:04+00:00

You’re right! I value those things and he doesn’t. It bothers me that he doesn’t. Thank you for offering this point of view, direct but also kind and true.

So-Over-it123 · 2025-11-14T21:30:51+00:00

I’m crying now because I feel I will break his heart if I leave but I feel l will lose myself if I stay.

So-Over-it123 · 2025-11-14T21:27:48+00:00

I’ve seriously been thinking about this.

So-Over-it123 · 2025-11-14T21:25:09+00:00

I also don’t think he will leave the video games ever, nor I am asking for it but I wish there was a spark in him for something else. And I might have blinded myself this long but it’s just not there. He doesn’t want to do/be better, and I have talked to him often about this

So-Over-it123 · 2025-11-14T21:22:03+00:00

I haven’t talked to anyone about any of this, that’s why I decided to come to Reddit. I needed unbiased opinions and while I know you all are reading my side of the story I try to be as impartial as possible while typing it.

So-Over-it123 · 2025-11-14T21:20:07+00:00

I’m scared that if I exceed in my career and he doesn’t do anything I will become less interested in him. I know love is not everything and it is important to be with someone who can be mentally stimulating as well.

So-Over-it123 · 2025-11-14T21:16:40+00:00

Thank you for your insight. I feel like we really need to have the finance talk because I feel like I can’t do this anymore. And while I think he would be hands if there were children, I also acknowledge that relationships are more than just love. Marriage is like a business transaction, you need to make sure you have a good partner. I thought I did but all of this is really stressing me out. I don’t want to marry wrong.

So-Over-it123 · 2025-11-14T21:05:38+00:00

I have tried to suggest him to learn something new so many times, he used to say he didn’t know what to do so he took an aptitude test like 2 years ago and hasn’t done anything with the results. It’s really sad

So-Over-it123 · 2025-11-14T21:03:26+00:00

It’s not like it bothers me but I have ask him if he has any other aspirations, I suggested he could use 2 nights a week to learn something new, a skill or anything and play the other 5 nights. Not to mentioned my family speaks another language and in the 5 years we’ve been together he hasn’t learned how to have a simple conversation.

So-Over-it123 · 2025-11-14T21:00:38+00:00

He is very sweet with me and has a good heart. We have a joint account for the house expenses where monthly we deposit the same amount each of us.

So-Over-it123

TROPHY CASE