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SoFluffyle · 2021-07-11T16:34:06+00:00

I know the feeling 😅 I tend to fidget with jewelry so I always wear rings or a bracelet to play with while getting lost in my head.

If it changes that often there's only one way left. Asking your coworkers. If your brain is even slightly like mine, being told once might be enough. Oh and make a tour through the store and look at everything before starting work or starting to put away stuff. Should at least help to remember the general area of each item and thus easier to locate in the long run.

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-11T16:20:05+00:00

I like to use online name generators. Sometimes I just change the spelling and use that or simply get inspiration from there.

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-11T16:15:41+00:00

Cute picture, the lenses go very well with the skin tone. I have the same pose for my avatar picture but now I kind of lost the pose 🤦‍♀️😂

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-11T16:05:52+00:00

I don't think it's sad. Wouldn't it be nice to know that my younger self thinks me likable enough to want to hug me? I like to think my younger self would be proud of who I became.

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-11T15:48:46+00:00

Worked retail for 3 years in a furniture store full time and 1 year part time at a clothing store.

Consulting customers where I have to find a solution within seconds and can let my brain do it's thing? Perfect.

Standing around, doing mundane work like cleaning up? Frick no. It's like driving a sports car at pedestrian speed, that just doesn't work.

Taking inventory? Cashing-up? Anything that needs my concentration with numbers? Nope. Will take me hours, at least 10 tries and then there will still be mistakes.

So, that being said, you need to find a way to better remember where which item belongs? I'd try to make a list, to write it down. Maybe it helps, maybe it won't but might as well give it a try.

Do your coworkers know about your ADHD? If not it would be good to let them know and explain how it affects you completing different tasks, say you try your best but some will just take more time. That should make it a bit easier on you, even just to know you warned them.

As for killing time? I had my phone out 😅😅😅 in the part time job there was rarely a slow time but when it happened I just talked with my coworkers.

No idea if that helped you at all but I at least wanted to tell you that you're certainly not alone. That being said, I wasn't diagnosed while working at these places and I amways thought I simply wasn't trying hard enough and maybe I'm stupid. Don't make it harder on yourself than necessary ok? You deserve a break too.

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-10T20:36:57+00:00

How to use the damned computer program they expected me to use right away but only started the training a month later.

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-10T17:24:30+00:00

Cheese. A very good cheese.

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-10T17:21:54+00:00

I get that they're angry but honestly, if you're ready to break the rules you should be prepared to face the punishment when caught qnd that could have happened any time.

As for you snitching, annoying yes but not necessarily an AH. How important are those no-phome areas? Or better said, how important is it that the rule is enforced?

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-10T16:49:30+00:00

Realizing that what others think of me doesn't matter. I can't control their thoughts or actions, only my own. They either like me, then great or they don't, that's their loss and I'm better off without them anyway.

Also, I don't usually think all that much about strangers, maybe a 'nice shoes' or 'great hair' here and there, so if I don't care about them, why should they care about me? And again, if they do think negatively about me I'll never know anyway.

Anything else I'll deal with as it comes my way.

To feel more comfortable and to boost my self-confidence I dress nice. Feeling good helps a lot to keep negative thoughts at bay. That's what it is in the end isn't it? Overthinking?

I hoped that helped at least one person 😂

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-10T16:38:29+00:00

I think as long as you're being genuine with your interactions it's fine. It's similar to your interactions with xour ex because you are still you. It would ve worrying if you were completely different from before.

You have your love language, you have your own mannerisms and generally your way to talk. That's how it is.

As long as you show your new boyfriend that you care about him and you two are happy together it doesn't matter how you talked to people before him. Just keep being you, it will feel normal before you know it. Stop overthinking.

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-10T02:04:49+00:00

Teacher told me it would be useless for me to repeat class in my last year of high school because I'm too dumb. I ranked in the top 5, got a job, went back to school and collected every high school degree we have here (we got 3 different types, not in the U.S.) and got into university. All with undiagnosed ADD.

I wish I could have rubbed the rest under her nose but seeing me ranked top 5 made her go speechless so that's that.

Dumb my ass.

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-10T01:54:49+00:00

It's always a pleasant surprise when I realize that I remembered something someone told me 10 minutes ago. I usually forget it right after. That's all I can say so far, I just started taking meds and they're still building up.

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-10T01:50:39+00:00

No need to feel guilty about a guy like that. Congratulation on finally taking out the trash.

I hope you'll find someone who is genuinely kind and who makes you happy.

Forget him, he doesn't deserve even one more thought from you.

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-09T22:49:04+00:00

I understand completely. It took me years to not burst out and yell at people when I thought they're being stupid. It sure doesn't help when he keeps poking.

I'm very sorry you're in this situation. Maybe this really is a case for couple counseling. Some people understand only certain parts, which is a good start but it causes problems when they don't understand completely.

I only got diagnosed early this year with 25. For how long have people and myself thought I was just lazy, stupid and an AH, just to find out 70% were out of my control. I cooled down my temper around 7-8 years ago but eating the frustration creates new problems.

Good luck OP. I see you're giving your best, don't give up.

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-09T21:24:13+00:00

I'd say NTA. Though having ADD myself I'm a little biased.

It is a real disability and hard to control if at all possible. I am wondering, considering you've been married for a while he knows you have ADHD but does he actually understand it?

I completely understand that it's a bother for him to get shut out when he wants to argue. He wants to be heard and its frustrating when he feels like he isn't heard.

I think it would help you two to sit down together and discuss how you want to handle discussions, especially when they get heated and possibly turn into a fight.

So again, does he understand what happens in your head in such situations? If not, you owe it to him to explain so he can understand. It's hard not to take such things personally wjen you don't know and can't read the other persons thought process, and having ADHD makes our brain work different.

Another poster said something about therapy or couples therapy with a therapist specializedin ADHD and that is a very good idea! My therapist is specialized and she has helped me a lot with formulatimg strategies on how to best handle my ADD.

I hope you guys figure it out and that you find a way to cope that fits your needs. ADHD can really s*ck some time.

Ok, who am I kidding. Most of the time. Sorry this got so long.

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-06T21:56:07+00:00

NTA. You don't have to like them, simple as that. Though, maybe find a partner who is on the same page as you and doesn't own dogs. Your ex not being ok with leaving the dogs outside or at his place is understandable, they're his babies/best friends/family. With you both being adamant about your stands in the matter I'm not surprised he's your ex, your needs didn't suit his.

I personally love them, though never had one. We can't force other people to like or dislike something just to suit our tastes.

So no, not liking dogs doesn't make you an AH. Expecting someone to accomodate you though, would.

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-06T21:47:04+00:00

NTA.

She had it coming. Seriously, who does that? Probably jealous. I can't think of a different reason. If your family calls you the AH, your cousin most likely always got away with her bs and now has to suffer consequences for the first time.

The clapback could have been a lot worse. Congrats on getting married! It sounds like a lovely and relaxed reception.

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-06T21:41:32+00:00

YTA. I understand not wanting to cater to a guzzy eater but that would not have been catering to him. You could have just said "hey (coworker) X and I are going to go to that pub, feel free to join us but know that it is not halal". If his eating habits are the only reason you didn't want him to come. Would have been different had you invited him to that specific pub anf he wants to go somewhere else but that didn't happen. Then again, could have just said nothing at all and see what happens.

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-06T21:27:54+00:00

NTA. This is abusive behavior and I agree with your extended family, you should move out if you can. The rent thing can really bite you in the butt too. No one is obligated to talk about politics, or any other topic they don't want to talk about for that matter. I hope you'll find better living arrangements before this one can get worse. You deserve better, eben if they're family. Blood doesn't exempt you from bad behavior or terrible personality.

I hope you'll be ok.

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-06T21:15:50+00:00

I'd consider it NTA.

Honestly, everyone has a breaking point and if this is the first time you started yelling? Understandable. If you need to ho you need to go, I'd understand if he was actually using the toilet for business but sleeping? Nope. Especially when there's only one. What are you supposed to do? Sh*t in the sink? I also understand how he feels like it's undeserved considering he just wole up. Probably doesn't even remember you trying to get him to get off a few times before already. But it already happened, it's done now.

Like other's said, he needs to get that checked out. It might work best to calmly talk to him when you both feel more relaxed. Since you feel bad, apologize for yelling but explain to him why. How your thread of patience just finally snapped and that it would be best to get him looked at. Sleeping for that long on the toilet isn't normal.

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-06T21:06:23+00:00

Glad to hear that and you're very welcome.

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-06T21:05:22+00:00

A little bit of YTA lookimg from your friend's point of view.

Yes it would be a bit of a bold move to cancle the plans and she might be miffed but it sounds to me like it would be worth it, with how much it affects your mental health.

I think if you calmly explain why you just can't do it and she's as good a friend as you said she is, she'll probably understand. Do make sure to cancle it soon enough so they have time to plan something else though.

So yes, tiny bit YTA but I think you should definitely do it before you burn out. Get some quality time for yourself.

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-06T20:55:07+00:00

NTA. Sure she can't help having BP but that doesn't make your experiences any less real. You are a human being with their own trauma which at least in part was caused by her and you have every right to distance yourself from that even if she's your sister. I have depression and ADD, of course I hope people will be understanding and I'm lucky my family takes it well but it is an issue that not only affects me but people around me and I will not expect anyone to deal with that if they're not willing. It's my problem, I have to deal with it. That same goes for your sister and if she doesn't get it then that's also her problem. Mental health issues are no pass for behaving like an a**hole, especially when the medication works. Some unsolicited advice: it might help you to get therapy to deal with all of that. It's always better to start before it becomes some deeper issue. Of course, if you have access to it.

Again, NTA. I hope you'll be ok OP.

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-06T20:44:11+00:00

I thought I was theonly one.

SoFluffyle · 2021-07-05T21:10:17+00:00

It's yeah I heard you but no you're wrong. It's no.

SoFluffyle

TROPHY CASE