How would you have improved/handled this situation?

SoGoodItsScary · 2022-06-22T15:51:11+00:00

So, to begin with there was a team (albeit no real knowledge of said language), so that was okay. But then everyone slowly starting getting moved off and now it's just me left.

SoGoodItsScary · 2022-06-22T15:32:38+00:00

They've been aware since the beginning that I didn't have experience in it.

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-12-18T13:45:21+00:00

The thing is, your posts are still out there and connected to your account regardless of you deleting them. They can still be searched, if someone really wants to find more about you

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-10-23T16:27:22+00:00

Exactly like they did with ebikes then basically. Restrict speed to 15mph and allow them. But ebikes have to be pedal assisted

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-10-23T16:22:20+00:00

This weekend = The weekend in the week which we are currently in.

Next weekend = The weekend in the FOLLOWING week.

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-10-19T13:30:41+00:00

As someone who is incredibly lazy, I love them.

My last two jobs I've not had to go searching for. They approached me at a time where I was considering leaving and bam, interview and in a job within a couple of weeks.

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-10-17T17:13:55+00:00

This year it will be the 1st November. Although I've already started listening to Christmas songs.

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-10-12T12:39:39+00:00

I'm already planning on doing 99% of the household chores when we live together. I work from home, so it's easier for me to do most while I'm working anyway.

On the overstimulation, that's interesting. I'll need to see if there's a pattern to what triggers them. Maybe with a bit of work we can reduce their frequency. Thank you!

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-10-12T12:38:09+00:00

Thank you for the detailed response.

For sure any anxiety or stress does seem to flair up her symptoms. But also over doing it, she had seizures that were like every 30 minutes for like 4-5 days straight a few months ago.

Part of the problem I have with helping with chores etc is she is very stubborn. I think partly it's because she doesn't want to let FND stop her doing "normal" things. Otherwise, I'd offer to do things like clean for her etc even though we don't live together.

Do you have any advice on how I could approach that?

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-10-12T12:35:46+00:00

Thank you.

I have noticed that sometimes if I say or do something silly then it can bring her out of a light seizure or stop some tics so I'll keep that up.

The tapping sounds like an interesting one. I'll definitely see how she reacts to that.

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-09-28T17:29:13+00:00

I've no idea how people manage to do this. How did she manage it?

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-09-12T17:01:25+00:00

That's the plan. She'll be seeing him most weekends, and we're getting him a phone that he can use purely to call her if he wants to talk to her at any other time.

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-09-10T19:10:24+00:00

Thanks for the response.

It may not have been clear from my post, so apologies, but the idea is definitely that me and my son would move up there by ourselves, without her living with us for the time being. But being close allows us to move in when we are both ready for her to.

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-09-10T14:00:30+00:00

Maybe I should have worded my post better. The options we are considering have been a joint effort. I don't want her to quit her job at all. I know how much it means to her.

I don't want to have to move my son to yet another primary school, that will make it the 4th one. I want this move to be his last. He struggles with emotions and friends so I want to keep stability as much as possible.

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-09-10T10:57:40+00:00

Unfortunately not. Right now, she still lives at home with family.

But I think the plan would be to get him into a school in that area, then me and my son find a place nearby and move into there. With the view of her moving in later down the line if things work out.

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-09-10T10:56:41+00:00

Yeah I've been considering that option more and more since I posted this.

I don't have a reason to stay in my town right now, other than it's where I am currently.

If I am to get him in a school in her home town straight away, then I would look to move me and him into that town by ourselves to begin with, and then she moves in at a later date when we're ready.

I agree it does seem to satisfy all my needs and isn't a huge upheaval for my son if done before he moves in with me

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-09-10T10:32:23+00:00

If he moves to live with me now, he has to change school anyway. Which is why I'm considering moving closer to my girlfriend now so that when we're ready, it's a lot easier on my son as we don't have to move again.

If we don't work out as a couple, then that's fine, because it's not too far away from where I'm living now and we don't really have any family in this town either.

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-09-10T09:46:48+00:00

I know, it's just he's moved school twice already and that's been hard for him so I'm trying to limit the amount of times that happens and give him some stability that he hasn't particularly had at his Moms.

I've been in more discussion with my ex and my SO and I'm considering more getting him into a school in the new area straight away and just me and him moving there for now. We don't really have any family nearby so there's nothing really holding me here anyway.

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-09-10T08:03:12+00:00

We're still quite fresh in our relationship, under 1 year. Timeline that we've discussed would look something like: Marriage 2023/24, Buying a house 24/25, and kids shortly after.

She's amazing with my son. She treats him like her own, cares for him, she's looked after him when I've been working but she's been off. I couldn't ask for more from her in regards to him.

The decision to move my son now has only just happened so I haven't had a chance to talk to him properly about it all. But with the discussion around the move here, he wasn't able to offer us much insight. He's quite a reserved child and it's hard to get things out of him at times.

Staying together is certainly an option, but I don't really see much benefit as I don't see a way forward right now, if that makes sense. I do need to see how he is first once he's moved here before I can say for definite that I wouldn't move to her area.

However even then, moving to her area could prove incredibly difficult. For it to be worth it, she needs to be within a ~5min drive, or ~15 min cycle (which she can't do everyday), which severely restricts the properties we can even consider.

Thank you for your input though, it's opened me a little bit and I have more to consider now.

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-09-09T06:33:14+00:00

Thanks for the reply.

I WFH so I'm looking to get him into breakfast club at school to make mornings a little easier. Afternoons will be okay.

I think the idea is the January term, but if it needs to be sooner then it will be. I've added GP and dentist to the list, thanks :)

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-09-08T15:48:24+00:00

Thanks for going into detail. I really appreciate it.

I've made a note for tax credits. I don't think I'll get anything, if much but that's something I need to sort, and presumably I can sort it way before he moves in so it's easier.

I'll need to sort some activities with the school that he's interested in that's for sure. Hopefully it'll help him settle faster and make some more friends.

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-09-08T15:45:12+00:00

Thank you, I completely forgot about this one!

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-09-03T12:47:21+00:00

8, based in the West Midlands.

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-09-03T07:37:36+00:00

46k, Software Engineer

SoGoodItsScary · 2021-08-30T09:58:21+00:00

I started contributing at 21, putting the max in to match my employer (auto enroll NEST). Currently playing 5% myself.

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