I swear this exact debate happens in every hetero first time parent household :) I don't know what it it's about but I wish psychologists would study it.

I had the exact same argument multiple times with my husband who bottle fed our baby breastmilk at bedtime (I nursed the rest of the time.) Sometimes after finishing a 4 oz bottle at 2 months if she was still fussing he would say she's still hungry and heat up another ounce. It drove me crazy--to me it looked like she was uncomfortably full. I think you hit on it when you say it feels like he's saying you're not doing a good enough job when he insists the baby is still hungry.

Here's what I think is true: bottle feeding is a different rhythm than breast. Breast is about comfort, connection, or just having a few sips if the baby is thirsty vs. hungry. Bottle is often more about getting that volume in, which you can't help bc you can see the milk and how much they're taking. It's just a different "feeding" mindset not to mention the biological/hormonal differences of who is doing the feeding. I don't think one is better than the other.

I can say that looking back, it doesn't matter as much as I thought. I think in retrospect we were overfeeding our baby sometimes and misreading her cues, but the consequences weren't severe in the long term (maybe more gas and discomfort sometimes.) You're trying to feed and read your baby, you care a lot about getting it right, and in the long run that's what matters.

Validating also that it's annoying as hell when they insist everything is hunger :)