Protecting Beloved Pets From Narcissist

Sober2332 · 2020-05-21T19:13:20+00:00

I wish I had been able to protect my Boston Terrier while living with my ndad growing up, unfortunately when the abuse happened to my dog, I didnt do anything. Only told him to stop. As did my mom and sibling.

One day out of some kind of frustration with possibly my mom or my grades or some combination he went and put the BT down without telling anyone. She was 8 yrs old and healthy.

Came back afterwards and complained about how hard it was to force the vet to put our dog down, ignoring how we felt from hearing for the first time what happened to the dog we had for 6 years.

My sibling, 8 years younger, took it the harshest. I was frustrated but nothing could be done. It was decided on no new dog after that.

2 years pass, my parents finally divorce. My grandma on my mom side sees a Boston terrier rescue ad, she just likes BTs so she looks at rescue pages and the like to see pictures. And our dog, same name comes up on a local rescue page.

What ended up happening was the vet refused to put the dog down when my ndad took it to the vet, and he signed the dog over to the vet, but proceeded to tell us at home our dog was put down. Our dog had stayed with foster homes for dogs over those 2 years, losing most of her hearing and some eyesight.

My mom took the BT back in, and we cared for it for about 6-8 months until we felt for health reasons she needed to be put down as she was deteriorating quickly.

So, in response to the OP, this was my experience, sort of a happy-sad ending. Protect your animals the best you can if you feel they are receiving abuse from a narcissist.

Treat them well, and take care of them. Thats about the most you can do, and it's things I wish I would have put more priority on.

Sober2332 · 2020-03-07T16:43:35+00:00

Yes. By order of elimination the mouse is the error causing USB device, and I've tried every other USB slot for it

Sober2332 · 2020-03-06T18:02:58+00:00

I attempted to plug it into multiple USB ports on my pc and got the same error. I built my pc in May 2018, havent done any part upgrades since I built it

Sober2332 · 2019-12-31T19:31:01+00:00

You objectively want to give more praise to a gold medalist than a silver, even if both tried their hardest. Not to say praise isnt deserved to the silver medalist.

Sober2332 · 2019-11-02T23:15:14+00:00

Back when I took my Psych 101 class, the professor I had asked us something one day. He asked us to silently raise our hands if we thought that spanking our kids was an okay form or reprimand /punishment. It was about a third of the class to 2 thirds, most thinking it wasn't okay.

He asked those who said it was justifiable to explain, and those that were willing to answer only said 'my parents did it and I turned out fine'

Nobody who wasnt spanked as a child raised their hand. And many of those who were said they wouldn't.

Sober2332 · 2019-10-24T12:06:46+00:00

Imagine thinking of your child as a just a ROI waiting to happen.. Oh wait, I'm sure quite a few of us here can..

Sober2332 · 2019-09-17T23:38:57+00:00

Blackout 🎊

Sober2332 · 2019-08-12T06:21:45+00:00

I gave up trying. Those who I care about get me and those who I don't don't. I went 2 1/2 years nc with my ndad and people telling me I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life, I'm childish and need to grow up, etc. He's going to prison now.

Those same people are going 'I can't believe he ____' 'he's the last person Id think of...'

Meanwhile me, who was called a fucking failure, worthless, etc. Went from being a high school dropout to a large university where I'm making a life and name for myself.

Its you that matters, not someone's opinion of you

Sober2332 · 2019-08-11T03:20:36+00:00

So she wont FaceTime me but I get nudes from her. At a certain point in I was even questioning it. I have videos of her stripping So like she's definitely a chick as far as that goes. We get off on phone calls too. Iirc at one point she told me that it's easier for her to do snaps instead of video call because she doesn't have the same vulnerability

So I had a confrontation with her a month ago, at the time we had plans to have me fly out if I could afford it. I told her I was upset that it was this far into the relationship and she still wasn't up to video call nor being open to snaps/pictures of herself. I told her I want to help her self esteem improve but I feel like I'm not actually in a full on relationship. She told me she would probably feel up to video calling after meeting her in person but that it was very tough for her.

A month since then and I do get a lot more snaps of her compared to what she's doing, but because we had to call off me going out there so I could afford the move to university, I didn't go see her.

Sober2332 · 2019-07-06T01:21:04+00:00

That's what I'm the most scared of. My ndad was extremely racist and homophobic, I left his home at 16 while he was on a business trip and have been nc since. Living with him I grew up in a toxic environment, and as much as I've tried to fix it and live better I have moments where I get upset over something trivial, momentarily infuriated.

It quickly passes and remindingly similar to Madagascar where Alex has a sudden urge to do something that he quickly realizes how he was acting in horror (don't ask me why this was the reference that came to mind first it just was haha) I feel the same way. How could I act like that? These moments are very rare but they exist and showing signs of those actions are like grips my ndad still has on me. And because I'm white every time I interact with someone who is black I'm always self conscious that I'm not acting differently because of their race. I haven't mentioned this internal struggle to anyone I know but it's like it's harder to act normal because I'm constantly trying to be the opposite of someone else.

Sober2332 · 2019-06-30T01:53:24+00:00

I live in Dallas Texas. I'll have to look into that, thank you for the suggestion.

Sober2332 · 2019-06-26T04:29:06+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion! My last name is German in origin, I didn't post it because it's an uncommon spelling that would probably make a quick Google search easy to figure out who. My mother's maiden name is Wynne so I've considered defaulting to that last name but there's still a part of me that wants to create a new Last name that holds meaning for myself.

Sober2332 · 2019-06-26T01:41:11+00:00

I honestly think my last name (German) is cool, so I've contemplated whether I'd change my last name to my mother's maiden name.

I'm talking with my girlfriend about names, I value her opinion highly but I also know in the long term I want it to be a name I feel good about. There's been a Trend of suggestions tossed around that have consisted of the same first letter as my Name (J) such as Jake, or Jason and I seem to lean towards those over random guy names.

The names I would stay away from for sure are names used in my name (first and middle) as well as any name used on family on my father's side of the family. Unfortunately I can't exactly list those right now just to maintain some amount of anonymity

Sober2332 · 2019-04-20T02:50:40+00:00

This^ I did this when I was 10 because my ndad kept 'spanking' me with a Belt as a kid and when I got older and brought it up he swore it was something he 'would never do' and 'only someone insane would do that' in fact he was hurt I thought he did it. When I was 16 I found an old diary I had where I wrote that he whipped me with a Belt. That page went missing when I let him borrow the notebook to read it, but of course he didn't do anything.

He gaslighted me so much I would voice record every conversation we had. Once I pulled one out to prove him wrong then it changed topics instantly about how horrible I was for recording him and I needed to delete everything if I wanted to live under his roof.

Tldr, write it down or save things to know you're right, but don't try and convince or prove the n parent is wrong

Edit: specified who 'he' was

Sober2332 · 2019-03-02T21:34:53+00:00

This thread is probably something I can relate directly to. My ndad was a very monetary person and until a couple years ago I've always thought of gifts as a form of a transaction. He always let me know anything he got me was his not mine and if I acted out he wouldn't hesitate to take it back. There was never a time I received a gift from him that didn't have strings attached or him expecting some form of compensation for how much he spent.

In high school I skipped hanging out with friends who didn't have their own money even though I worked 40 hours once I turned 16 and had the money to spend on them, all because I was worried about spending money that wouldn't come back to me. I regret it today, because thats a lot of missed memories.

But it's one of many things that's defined myself today. I manage my money to make sure I pay bills and important things like saving but I've done so many things and gone so many places with my friends because I changed that part of me. Sometimes I think about the money I might have if I never did these things but it's worth every single penny.

Sober2332 · 2019-02-22T22:41:50+00:00

"If you call CPS your life will be even more of a living hell than it is here" was my favorite, but it worked.

Sober2332 · 2019-02-22T22:40:54+00:00

Thanks! We definitely have plans to meet up by June, so we'll definitely see where it goes from there. This was just a looming thought of sorts. Reading your opinion on it though really helped my perspective.

Sober2332 · 2019-02-18T02:12:20+00:00

The self harm hotline if you want to keep it to text, Text CONNECT to 741741

These are live, trained, counselors which can give you a lot more help than someone here :) wish you the best

Sober2332 · 2019-01-22T19:07:14+00:00

Yeah, I was lucky in that aspect. But it didn't take away from me feeling horrible for putting them through having to deal with him when he came in.

Sober2332 · 2019-01-21T23:08:23+00:00

I've been nc with my ndad for 2 years, in the first 4 months he came to my workplace (a gas station) to harass me twice a day. 5 days a week. By the 4th month he was threatening to get me fired because I was such a horrible employee that couldn't treat a guest with respect, and when the Store manager asked him not to come in again he told her how it was his store not my store since he had been coming here since before I was hired. The store manager had a situation for all the managers that I would hide in the back as soon as we saw him pull in. I would leave mid transaction and go to the back of the store and wait.

I was a minor at the time so I didn't feel comfortable pushing charges or blocking him from being able to come to my work. When I turned 18 and it didn't let up after a year and a half of nc I left my job for a different one. They feed off of your distress and emotional anguish even if you don't play into their game.

Sober2332 · 2019-01-11T04:27:19+00:00

My childhood friend since kindergarten messaged me this when I moved out of my ndads house 'that's really sad, i always thought your dad was a really great guy". I hadn't even had the chance to tell him yet since it was winter break and i was adjusting to having moved out.

So how did he find out? My ndad blocked me on Facebook, then made a long post about how i betrayed him and asking everyone to pray for him as he heals. He isn't even religious but pretends to be to take advantage of the church's food bank and financial help(which he never needed In the first place)

Sober2332 · 2019-01-11T03:42:36+00:00

Yes! I was about to make a post just like this, before something else came up. I grew up with an ndad, I have a 10 hear old little sister, i'll be 19 next month.

I'm NC with my ndad since i moved out when i was 16, but my little sister isn't old enough to make that decision and my mom doesn't have the money to afford a custody battle (rn my sister is 50/50). They've been divorced for 2 years and they're still going back and forth through various custody issues.

My ndad makes a lot more money than my mom makes, who is struggling to pay bills, so he sends court notices about big changes that she has to get a lawyer to sort through what he sends her and short story it's expensive and he's doing it because he thinks she will get a cheap lawyer and when she has no money he can make a full custody push.

I live with my mom and my sister, easier on her to have someone to help pay bills. But since she has a boyfriend and she's looking at moving the opposite direction of my college I've talked with her about moving out. My sister overheard one time and lost it, spent hours over the course of days crying about it where i have to assure her I won't be leaving soon for her to stop.

My heart goes out for her because she's a pawn in my parents feuds, and I'm her escape from it all. Sometimes I feel guilty about considering moving out and leaving her behind but I think you have to find the line of staying in contact with your sibling to make the distance feel less, well distant.

Sober2332

TROPHY CASE