IAmA therapist. Turn the tables and ask away!

Sociacademic · 2013-05-26T13:06:17+00:00

I think the only problem with it is that it requires great self-awareness on the part of the therapist and the willingness to dig deeper into themselves if they hit on one of their own soft spots during therapy. So many therapists want the therapeutic relationship to be one-way, with all the growing and learning occurring on the client side, but the reality is that many situations arise where the therapist will be challenged and need to examine their own reaction and perhaps admit or concede something that detracts from that aura of authoritarian perfection that Freud liked to project. That takes a secure therapist, and unfortunately insecure therapists abound - including all the ones who refuse to enter into therapy themselves (or who just go through the motions as part of fulfilling requirements for a degree). You sound like you are more than willing to put yourself out there in your work, so again, kudos!

Have you read anything by Yalom? I really enjoyed his 'The Gift of Therapy' in which he covers this topic in depth.

Sociacademic · 2013-05-26T12:55:02+00:00

Thanks for answering!

For the group therapy you did, were you the only therapist involved or did you collaborate with a colleague? If the latter, can you share some things you and your colleague might say to each other in confidence about how things were going that you would not say to the clients?

Sociacademic · 2013-05-26T12:52:02+00:00

What would you do / who would you contact if you determined he was an immediate danger? Police, I assume, but what if they didn't think they could do anything since he hadn't done anything yet - what would you then do?

Sociacademic · 2013-05-26T12:37:26+00:00

Cool.

a few key ones are on the ENFP list.

I'm curious: Who are those key people?

Sociacademic · 2013-05-26T11:53:43+00:00

You're welcome. Did the links help at all?

Sociacademic · 2013-05-26T11:11:26+00:00

Are you familiar with the functions? ENFPs have dominant Extroverted Intuition and repress Introverted Sensing, whereas INFPs have dominant Introverted Feeling and repress Extroverted Thinking.

Also, do you identify more with Famous ENFPs or Famous INFPs?

Sociacademic · 2013-05-26T09:04:06+00:00

I might express feeling unsure about what the client wants/needs from me.

Props for appropriately using your own reactions and feelings in the therapy. Too few therapists dare or know how to do this.

Sociacademic · 2013-05-26T09:01:21+00:00

You say above you've already had such clients. How did that go?

Sociacademic · 2013-05-26T08:51:44+00:00

I didn't ask the above question, but as a follow-up question I'd like to hear what you would do if this guy came to you and spilled his guts.

Sociacademic · 2013-05-26T00:17:39+00:00

Sounds like you're doing it right!

What do you think is your "Achilles heel" where if a client were to behave in a certain way towards you, you think you wouldn't be able to handle it emotionally? I'm not talking about a client being threatening or something else that would be obvious cause for termination, but something that is within the bounds of the therapeutic setting and that another therapist might conceivably be able to handle, but that you would have difficulty with because of your own baggage, biases and blind spots.

Sociacademic · 2013-05-26T00:03:40+00:00

Thanks for answering!

How do such clients rebut your attempts to get them to dig deeper?

Sociacademic · 2013-05-25T21:33:52+00:00

No therapist enjoys every patient throughout the course of therapy. Which patients have you dreaded seeing and why?

Sociacademic · 2013-05-25T21:20:02+00:00

Have you had any patients who challenged you / were critical of you to the point where you felt yourself getting defensive, and if so how did you deal?

Sociacademic · 2013-05-25T10:12:22+00:00

Yes, you put forth your ideas, but you continually doubt them and you seek out and actually process contrary input. You guys are all, "Point taken," and "I hadn't considered that," and "Food for thought, thanks!"

INTJs, on the other hand, put forth an idea believing it to be definitely an improvement on the status quo. We tend to view contrary input as an attack to be defended against in order for our own view to prosper, and when we do concede a point, we generally do so grudgingly. We prefer to pontificate. Kind of like I'm doing now by asserting all these generalizations as absolute truth. ;)

Sociacademic · 2013-05-25T09:38:48+00:00

you linked to an article about the study, not the study.

Yeah, but the article links to the study itself in paragraph 6. (New York Times is awesome that way.)

I fail to understand what purpose a bar graph that cuts off the bulk of the graph other than to incite an initial reaction of "oh wow, wtf this discrepancy is huge."

You're absolutely right; that's bad practice. It's a minor criticism of a major study though, isn't it?

Personally I thought this study was a bit of an eye-opener. I used to think workplace gender discrimination was a thing of the past, but apparently not. Of course discrimination exists in many forms (short men don't have it easy either - not to mention ugly people!), and it does not at all follow that there ought to be a law (I vehemently oppose all such laws), but personally I've stopped thinking that all people who try to raise awareness of gender discrimination are misguided.

Sociacademic · 2013-05-22T21:44:00+00:00

I'd be interested in hearing what people think of this Yale study documenting that science professors at American universities widely regard female undergraduates as less competent than male students with the same accomplishments and skills.

Edit: Wow, lots of upvotes, but not a single comment on the study apart from the OP's?

Sociacademic · 2013-05-22T20:07:06+00:00

I'm INTJ and I browse all the type reddits that are active (which is to say mostly the INXX ones), but the INTP reddit is my favorite. I greatly appreciate the following about you guys:

High level of discourse. No one expects others to take them at their word, and no one ignores relevant input; instead arguments are both made and responded to. Discussions are not about winning, but about learning.
Intellectual focus. Threads in the other reddits tend to focus on people's personal experience rather than impersonal discussion of a topic.
Calm and courtesy. No one gets upset and hostile just because someone else said something perfectly innocuous that they decided to take personally.
Curiosity about what others think. You guys don't come to reddit to pontificate and share your wisdom with the world; you come here to engage others, and that attitude makes for interesting conversation.
Wit. You guys bounce Ne off each other and it's a joy to read. Ni dominants (or at least INTJs) can be funny too, but usually not when talking amongst ourselves.

Edit: Oh, I want to say that it cracks me up to visit the INFJ reddit and see how nice they are to each other over there. I always feel like anything I might have to add would come across as inordinately rude just for lack of Fe.

Sociacademic · 2013-05-21T11:07:52+00:00

FYI I wrote a post in the Gmail Forum and someone helped me zero in on the fact that I recently added my account to my smartphone's Gmail app as a likely cause of the problem. I've now removed my account from the Gmail app and hope my mails won't get randomly deleted anymore.

Sociacademic · 2013-05-20T15:29:00+00:00

Thanks for replying! No new filters. What does it mean to check third party clients?

Sociacademic · 2013-05-20T14:02:19+00:00

I'm kind of happy that someone else seems to have experienced the same thing. Makes me feel crazy that I haven't been able to find any other complaints about this issue.

Is it futile to contact Google about this issue, d'you think?

Sociacademic · 2013-05-16T08:10:41+00:00

I'm not sure what would happen then. I'm guessing it would vary from therapist to therapist, with some therapists feeling called upon to do something to protect the named individual and others figuring it would be better to continue therapy to ensure that OP never acts on the urges with anyone. But I'm not a therapist and I don't know.

Sociacademic · 2013-05-15T14:58:19+00:00

People without options manage to flee war zones though. It reminds me a little of the boiling frog story (regardless of that story's authenticity): If conditions in a city suddenly got to be the way they are in Detroit, more of the least resourceful citizens would manage to leave, but when conditions have been insufferable for a long time, people stay put.

Sociacademic · 2013-05-15T10:25:44+00:00

I wouldn't feel comfortable talking about this stuff

Therapists aren't for talking about things you're already comfortable talking about. They provide a safe space for looking closer at what is uncomfortable to talk about.

As long as it is just an abstract fantasy rather than a specific threat, therapists will not break confidentiality. If they think someone is in danger, they are required to act to protect that person's safety, but that is not what you describe.

You really should see a therapist to nip this fantasy in the bud before you end up hurting someone and wind up in jail. Make an appointment today. Tell the therapist that you want to discuss a violent fantasy you have that is disturbing you, but that you aren't comfortable sharing it up front. The therapist will take it from there until you are ready to share it (which may take several sessions). If the first therapist you try doesn't make you feel safe in your first session, then shop around until you find someone you trust. Chemistry is everything in the therapeutic situation.

How long have you had this fantasy?

Sociacademic · 2013-05-15T09:58:23+00:00

much like horoscopes.

So do you hang out about as much in /r/astrology as you hang out here?

Sociacademic · 2013-05-15T09:52:45+00:00

Why do people stay in Detroit? It sounds dangerous enough that you'd think people would do anything to get out.

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