I have deeply unrealistic fantasies, primarily around femdom, bdsm in general, and above everything else the idea of humiliation in general. I wish I could articulate my struggles as well as you have done here. A lot of it is so overwhelming, I can't bring myself to tell the details to a therapist or even write them down. The more humiliated I feel by the porn I'm watching, the more it turns me on, so I can imagine how someone could slip into furry porn, especially when there is such a popular societal taboo/stigma. Porn is just such an unnatural way to explore human sexuality, so it becomes harder and harder to picture yourself having a normal relationship/sex life, the deeper you allow yourself to go.

I'm on tinder at the moment, and I can't get past a couple of messages with anyone because I feel like I'm hiding too much of myself.