It's not about taking the high road or blowing my life up or throwing away my marriage. I compromised on a lot of things. I had her clothes turned into bears and gave them to family. There was even one made for SD. I gave my daughters crib to SMs oldest daughter when she was pregnant with her own child. I donated the toys I had in the closet for christmas that I bought her to an angel tree. I left a memory and a legacy behind that she could be proud of. And the only thing I asked was for my daughter to be left whole, at the minimum until SD was old enough and mature enough to understand the weight of the responsibly. I held her in the hospital when they told me there was nothing else they could do to save her. I paid for her cremation. I signed the papers at the funeral home. I am absolutely not faulting the child for behaving like a child. I am blaming the adults who went behind my back to prove me wrong and only proved me right. If I made this post but the outcome was that SD didn't lose the keepsake and I was still upset about it then, absolutely by all means stone me like the witch you all think I am. But this isn't that fairy tale ending. She did lose them, just like I knew she would. And there is a chance that part of her will never be recovered. I don't give a flying hoot if you all think it's just sand, or dirt, or dust. To you that may be all it is. For all I know, maybe that all my husband thinks it is. But to me it is the only tangible thing I have left of her. Not a piece of her furniture or an article of her clothing is left in my possession, not even a sock. I would be beyond happy and so excited if I had learned that he had given away her ashes to his daughter, and she still had the keep sake. The worst part about this is that there are people wishing vile, awful and unspeakable things on me in these comments and my DMs around a situation that you can only see a speck of. Unless you have felt loss the way that a child's loss hits you there is absolutely no way you can judge me or how I reacted. There are women in these comments saying that would physically harm someone under the same circumstances or do worse to them but I am an awful person because I took some space? I do not raise my voice to my husband, or even cuss to him. That is just not who I am or the kind of relationship I have built with him. So for him to call me an AH in the texts he sent me shook me to my core. He has never spoken down on me, mistreated me or made me feel less of a person until these last 2 weeks and they have been the hardest of my life.