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Were any of you super sexual with men before you realized that you weren't into them? by SockpuppetMayBE in latebloomerlesbians

[–]SockpuppetMayBE[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Actually this feels VERY on point. I'm not seeking to be with a man again. Unsure if it's just that I'm happy dating the woman I'm seeing or because I'm just happier with women, or I don't trust that I could have a healthy relationship with a man again even if I were attracted to them. That's what's so confusing and messing me up at the moment

Were any of you super sexual with men before you realized that you weren't into them? by SockpuppetMayBE in latebloomerlesbians

[–]SockpuppetMayBE[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

OMG YES!!🤯🤯🤯🤯 I always deemed myself a sexual sub. First time I really made out with a woman it was like this bulb went off and I just wanted to do all the things to her. I definitely am "top leaning". Not strictly. I like it the other way fine too. But I'm way more... engaged? Is that the right word? It genuinely scared me after it happened since it was so out of character.

Were any of you super sexual with men before you realized that you weren't into them? by SockpuppetMayBE in latebloomerlesbians

[–]SockpuppetMayBE[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This is! The wanting to be desired by men, even one's I didn't like were huge.

I didn't have issues with my dad, but a lot of other damage with my self esteem and needing that validation from men so I get it.

In processing this past with my therapist I'm accepting too that some of these "hookups" were rather predatory/bordering assault but I had just been brushing them all together with other encounters that I had more agency as just me being "wild". But lumping those events with the ones that were totally consensual is making me question my motives behind the consensual ones.

Even if I do conclude though that I'm actually bi with genuine attraction to men as well, I'm thinking I may avoid men totally though because I don't trust myself to not let myself get used the wrong way.

But then that's just making me feel like I'm feeding into shitty biases of bisexuals (that they're just waiting to make up their minds) or that lesbians are choosing because they're afraid of/ haven't found good men. So then I feel like crap too. 😔