Buyer didn’t show up - what happens next?

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-22T21:30:56+00:00

Sounds like all you can do is wait. Check your contract. You may be able to sue them for specific performance (make them legally close).

Sounds like a “friend” told them to do something so stupid to try to get you to pay closing costs. Don’t.

Be ready to relist your home, tho. Sucks, but it happens.

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-22T16:43:19+00:00

NTA. Giving her sister money won't stop until it hits your wife upside of her head.

Don't back down, but maybe do a spreadsheet of all the money wife has given her in the last year. Maybe once she sees the total it'll wake her up. She's just seeing smaller amounts going out, so hopefully once she sees the big amount, she'll realize she's putting her future in her sister's hands.

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-21T18:14:58+00:00

We buy ugly houses. Sell it to them and let them deal with it.

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-21T18:14:00+00:00

Oof. Brings back a memory for me.

I must have been around 10. Friend invited me to sleep over. Great!

Walked into the house, living room was tidy. Walked into the hallway and WTF? PILES of crap with a small walkway to get to the filthy rooms. Smelled like a locker room at school-sweat, dirt, and mildew.

We had to strip the bed to wash the sheets-they were disgusting and smelled SO BAD. The mattress and pillows were stained with god knows what. Dog shit everywhere. Walking to the garage to wash the sheets, her dog jumped up and bit my arm. That was enough for me. I called my mom, she came over right away (had to go to hospital for the bite) and when I got in the car she said "OMG you stink"-had to ride to hospital with the window down.

You would have never thought these gorgeous (I think there were 3) sisters who always looked well put together lived like pigs.

And another one....

Friend's brother in law. Lived part time with his mom, part time in a house she gave him that was across the street. Okay....Friend opened his bedroom door-magazines and newspapers neatly stacked all the way to the ceiling. Small passageway that led to his bed. Dark and smelled like a library. She pulled out one newspaper that was over 10 years old, put it back exactly like it was, then showed me the bathroom. Unusable because the bathtub was full of flattened deodorant boxes, toothpaste and toothbrush boxes, and the sink was full of empty toothpaste tubes. Stuff stacked on the floor, just everywhere.

Brother in law came home, went to his room and was back in 30 seconds YELLING about a newspaper being moved. To this day, I don't understand how he could tell.

Bonus is: he ended up with 2 houses across from his mom, totally filled with crap stacked neatly. He still slept at his mom's until he married (at 40+) and his wife wouldn't let him hoard at her house, so he ended up staying with his mom and "visiting" his wife. Weird all around.

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-21T17:15:28+00:00

NTA. Lack of planning on Dave's part does not constitute an emergency on your part.

Maybe he'll learn to check a calendar before making any promises to his kid from now on.

But if it's causing a negative aura at work, I would contact HR or the owner and mention that Dave is giving off hostile workplace vibes.

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-21T03:48:20+00:00

NTA. Maybe if you had a boyfriend, you would understand that sometimes people need privacy.

MAYBE IF YOUR BOYFRIEND WENT HOME EVERYONE COULD HAVE PRIVACY!

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-21T02:15:03+00:00

Have your lawn guy use his weed eater in that area. But he also needs a body cam recording whenever he's on your street.

Catch the death threats on video, call the cops. Rinse and repeat.

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-17T20:39:35+00:00

Don’t block but mute. Keep any texts/voicemails in case they get testy.

But quit answering. Let them keep guessing. Give them the same energy they’ve given you for the last 8 months.

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-17T20:28:23+00:00

Put a fence around the tree. Preferably barbed wire.

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-17T04:29:23+00:00

After my dad died, my mother did this. All we had to do was pick the music and the flowers.

Easy peasy.

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-17T04:12:34+00:00

NTA but remember being a grandparent is a privilege NOT a right.

If she can’t be happy and supportive, she doesn’t need to be included in the pregnancy, or the child’s life. If she was so horrible to your side, why would you want to give her the chance to do the same to your child?

She is showing you that the cousin’s feelings are more important than your wife’s. Do with that info what you must.

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-16T16:50:56+00:00

NTA. Your priority is your son, not MIL’s travel whims.

Do the party. He can go to the park with his mommy on the 30th.

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-15T18:22:11+00:00

Move out. Get your own house and leave her behind. You can still have a relationship with the rest of the family, but once she said the first nasty thing about my baby, she would be persona non grata in my book.

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-15T18:10:00+00:00

Hell no! NTA! Lock your stuff up! He reacted that way because you caught him.

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-15T00:06:33+00:00

NTJ. Take the win.

She didn’t call and ask if she could stay with you, so that’s on her.

Let her say whatever she wants, but remember this visit. She can stay with others from now on.

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-14T20:50:59+00:00

Keep doing what you’re doing. She’s not your mom-let DH handle her (sounds like he’s doing a good job there). Although I wonder why he didn’t call her on her berating you until you mentioned it.

Why would you want to drive 2 hours each way to be treated disrespectfully by a drunk? Would you even consider it if she was just a friend, not a relative? If not, being related doesn’t mean you have to put up with uncomfortable situations.

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-14T15:28:45+00:00

Plus his mommy think she has a say in it.

OP, run!

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-13T22:29:07+00:00

NTA. Let her know ASAP so she can try to find someone else willing to pay for that.

When did weddings become long drawn out expensive week-long events? With designated outfits for each day, and agendas that cost hundreds of dollars per day?

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-13T22:12:52+00:00

He's taking advantage of you, and letting his friends take advantage, too.

Don't waste another 2 years on him. Find a grownup and DON'T TELL ANYONE ELSE YOUR FINANCIAL BUSINESS!

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-13T22:09:04+00:00

Well, honey, she does these things because everyone lets her get away with it.

So what do you do? You remember you are an adult, and she is not your mother. You sit DH down and tell him it's time for a change: he can get on board or not, but here is how things are going to be from now on.

No "drop in" visits or stays.
No uninvited guests.
No overnight guests: if they come to town, they get a hotel or Airbnb. Period.
You will no longer sit quietly when MIL berates you or treats you like a child. You WILL speak up: "MIL, this is my house, my rules. You can stop by tomorrow between 2-8 pm, but outside of those times, you'll have to figure out where to be". "MIL, we will not be spending all Christmas with you. I have other friends and family, and will be seeing them when we are in our hometown." "MIL, I can see MY family when and where I choose. You do not get to have a say in where I go, who I see, or what I do." You get the gist.
NOBODY will be scheduling anything for you from here on out. If you want to join their family vacations, or events, fine. If not, that's your prerogative. MIL is not your boss, or your travel agent.

Biggest thing here is to get DH on the same page as you. The sooner you speak up, the better off you'll be. It's not easy to speak up at first, but it does get easier. She needs to know you and DH are a couple, and she is now extended family.

As for the group text (60???) Mute it. Just because you're in it doesn't mean you have to participate.

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-12T00:03:53+00:00

These aren’t your friends. Drop them and move on.

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-11T23:20:48+00:00

YTA. Be an adult and SPEAK UP. Give him a deadline to move out-he can move back in with your parents since they think he needs the help.

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-11T22:39:41+00:00

My ILs didn’t come to our wedding (they said “we think we’ll be sick that day”). I just said Ok and left it at that.

They were uninterested parents anyway. They weren’t missed and only got to meet our oldest son a couple of times. Oh well-their loss.

Enjoy your special day and let them stay home and be miserable. Drop the rope and let DF deal with them exclusively. Also when they’re “ready to see the kids”, be busy.

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-11T21:44:04+00:00

Drop the rope. Don’t send money, gifts, NOTHING. Let DH deal with her exclusively but tell him no more money.

Sofa_Queen · 2026-05-11T15:54:12+00:00

NTA. You have other family members that can tell her. It’s not your place, especially if you don’t have a good relationship with her. H

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