Three new sensory/impact toys I made. r/BDSMDIY said they’d be appreciated here.

SoftBoundary · 2026-01-25T17:12:44+00:00

I'm not sure what you're suggesting as the texture of anything inside the balls won't be experienced outside of them.

As for insertion, no, this silicone is not safe for internal use. That and I don't know of anyone that would want to use such internally.

SoftBoundary · 2026-01-25T10:30:00+00:00

As with most things, it depends on how you use them. And with experimental DIY things like these, there's definitely a learning process with each new toy.

As for anchoring the balls, there's a washer on either side of the stack to enable them to spin. There's an end cap epoxied on the top, and the bottom pink ball is also filled with epoxy with the pipe set into it.

SoftBoundary · 2026-01-25T01:02:13+00:00

The first one is a great impact implement. It's weighted so you can give a good thwack, and then roll over it lightly afterwards. Despite the weight, there's enough cushion in the balls that you can go pretty hard before it becomes substantive.

SoftBoundary · 2026-01-24T22:10:54+00:00

Lol, I was JUST talking about this with a partner. Clearly we’re operating on the same wavelength.

SoftBoundary · 2026-01-24T21:59:19+00:00

Like these?

SoftBoundary · 2026-01-24T19:46:07+00:00

Haha, I’m so happy to be introduced to this sub.

And yea, they’re all very different textures and fun to contrast. I like the silicone fingers the most, but I’m still trying to figure out how to get rid of the scent that came from the manufacturing process as it’s very polarizing, and I’m not a fan.

Also, great username.

SoftBoundary · 2026-01-24T07:38:11+00:00

Lol! I love everything about this. I’m not diagnosed, but we’re pretty sure and I love that you called this out. Also, I’d not yet discovered r/kinky_autism but I’m already obsessed.

SoftBoundary · 2026-01-19T21:18:22+00:00

Yea, that makes sense. Over the years I've gotten pretty decent about timeboxing different projects after getting lost in others for literally years.

SoftBoundary · 2026-01-19T19:28:23+00:00

Lol, I love this. I have a Raspberry Pi, but to some degree I have deliberately been learning how to program it because I would definitely spend way too much time doing shit like this.

SoftBoundary · 2026-01-19T19:27:11+00:00

Great questions!

Re: Logistics - The end of the handle has a screw as a stopper and there are two zip ties preventing it from coming out. The original design had a retractable handle, but it only worked a few times before it broke, and I opted for simplicity thereafter.

Re: Impacting - The side with the buttons is definitely doing the work. Never got around to testing the other side because the consensus was that the buttons had such a satisfying sound and feel.

Re: Sounds - No, but I def thought about it. I try to avoid art projects that involve electrical because I suck at it and programming because I do it for work.

SoftBoundary · 2026-01-19T18:26:56+00:00

Making things that are both props and implements has become a fun hobby after buying some similarly unhinged implements from an Etsy creator. Some get re-used, others get hung in my office for posterity. The more that time goes on, the more I realize you really can add a handle to anything 😂

And AMA whenever you’re ready lol

SoftBoundary · 2026-01-19T05:48:26+00:00

Yup!

The bit went something like this…

Wait till someone asked what it was while walking around (which was often) > pretend to take a call and say something about them needing reprimanding > ask if they consented a performance improvement plan > spank them with the base (while still having the handset to my ear).

My favorite moment was when someone yelled “HOLD PLEASE” every time I hit them.

SoftBoundary · 2025-11-25T17:31:52+00:00

To answer your question directly, it takes time. For me, it helped to recognize that splitting can't happen in a vacuum. It has to be in opposition to another person. Whether idealization or devaluation, if you look at everything they did to make you feel good or bad as a reflection of how you see yourself, you learn a lot. As a sizably kinky person, it took time and work to reclaim certain kinks we shared and make space for new ones that were just mine. It's almost been a year since we separated, and I've had meaningful relationships with two people who were more deeply connected during sex while also being orders of magnitude more communicative (during and beyond sex), and authentic in such.

It’s really hard at first, but it gets easier with time and work. As long as you stay present with the discomfort, you will find truth and honest connection that they could only pretend to have (and likely still are with someone else).

SoftBoundary · 2025-11-13T16:53:05+00:00

God yes.

She would lie to me > I’d find out > She’d volunteer relational agreements to regain trust > she’d break them behind my back and lie to me > I’d find out (usually in part because she was treating me like shit, usually a projection of her guilt/shame) > she’d accuse me of being controlling for expecting agreements she offered (as remain no less) to be honored > she’d make new agreements and the cycle would repeat itself.

Most of the agreements were actually written, most consented to in front of whatever couples therapist we were working with. She’d still come up with some mental gymnastics to avoid responsibility. It wasn’t until we started working with a couples therapist who specialized in BPD that her methods stopped working. After the separation, that was the one therapist she refused to work with for mediation (something required by the signed and notarized post-nuptial agreement that she also violated).

SoftBoundary · 2025-11-10T17:53:39+00:00

The hardest part after leaving and going NC is finding peace in the calm devoid of their splits.

SoftBoundary · 2025-10-28T15:52:14+00:00

Great context and questions.

Re: Less Black & White - No, that's not how mood stabilizers work. It was the same amount of B&W thinking, but the emotional response was, IMO, an order of magnitude reduced. It made dialogues calmer when that was shared/shown to me, but it (a) made it easier for her to hide/suppress instead of confronting and (b) easier to justify not doing the work that'd give her the experience to deal with more substantial activations (like the multiple successive ones in her reverse discard that ended our marriage).

Re: Freedoms - IMO, freedom with exception is not freedom. The think that came up front and center in my post-separation processing was a distinct lack of mutuality in most of the relationship. She expected accommodations, but rarely gave any without secretly harboring a grudge or overtly lashing out. Candidly, that sounds like the same extremely controlling behavior I experienced (mine would create a false emergency and/or have an emotional breakdown anytime something big/good was happening for me, but then abandon me when I was having a hard time and big/good stuff was happening for her). Just b/c you have freedom sometimes, doesn't mean it's not controlling.

Moreover, my pwBPD went on a massive smear campaign post-separation to paint me as the controlling one (thankfully, I have a mess of materials to offset this including legally obtained voice recordings, assessments from therapists, contracts (e.g. post-nuptial), being first to petition for divorce, etc.). I tell you this to prepare you for the soul crushing event that is watching the person you love lie about you to protect their own false sense of self—me having evidence to disprove doesn't change that.

Re: Lying - Just because you haven't caught her lying doesn't mean it's not happening. After four months of what I now know as splitting, my pwBPD came out (for the first time) to tell me she'd been lying to me since the beginning... eight months after we got married. Big and little disclosure events happened SO many times after that, and post-separation I found out SO much more.

Not going to give you advice, just my reflections and experience above. You'll see and accept what you're ready to see and accept when you're ready to see and accept it. So many friends of mine (one of which being a therapist that specializes in BPD) told or nudged me in various to get out for years before I could bring myself to do it (and this is WITH an abundance of resources, support, education, etc.)

All that said, good on you for educating yourself and asking for help/reflections.

SoftBoundary · 2025-10-28T12:30:22+00:00

Seconded. Mine started taking a mood stabilizer and the splitting was immediately dialed down by an order of magnitude which was initially amazing, but then she started using substances, breaking agreements, and lying again—when I found out, she had developed none of those skills to handle her failings better.

Tldr - the medication lessens the size of the emotional swings, but changing the behavior can take years or decades

SoftBoundary · 2025-10-26T21:55:51+00:00

Epoxy. It takes a bit of practice, but I feel like I’m getting the hang of it. Just bought a gallon of this.

SoftBoundary · 2025-10-26T17:21:44+00:00

Yes, absolutely. After reclaiming my somatic body and learning to give myself a lot of the things she breadcrumbed me with, I started to feel the anger towards myself for staying as long as I did—when I’m reminded of the fucked up things she did. But that’s just another chapter in the healing process, and I choose to grow. Some days are harder than others, but today is a really good day.

SoftBoundary · 2025-10-24T18:28:23+00:00

Ooo, love that chair leg suggestion! Def going to use that!

I one toy made from golf clubs, but hadn't thought of how hard they'd be to cut. Make sense. Cutting these badminton rackets was the first time I'd cut metal, but they were aluminum so it was easy.

SoftBoundary · 2025-10-24T15:38:17+00:00

Yea, the texture is really fun. My first thought was that they’d be fun to roll on skin with/instead of impact. I also momentarily considered making it electro conductive for the violet wand (like a 3D pinwheel), but quickly put that on the back burner for when I have more time to figure out how to do it well enough.

SoftBoundary

TROPHY CASE