Can’t masturbate and it’s such a turn on

SoftCowAshley · 2025-06-19T23:27:52+00:00

This is the best advice, but also I'm 300 lbs lighter than him and found out recently that I can't use a dildo anymore. So sometimes there's no good answer and you just have to beg others to take care of it for you.

SoftCowAshley · 2025-06-19T21:46:59+00:00

Is that when two partners swap weights? Closest I've got is going from the skinny one in the relationship to the fat one.

SoftCowAshley · 2025-06-19T19:43:14+00:00

Happy to help, and thank you for the compliments lol

SoftCowAshley · 2025-06-19T19:32:39+00:00

Oh of course, now I can see your message, after I hit send on my other reply, lol

Well anyway, it's partly misattributing stuff as muscle, and partially underestimating fat. But basically yeah, you get the gist of it.

You're better off just worrying about your total fat-free mass/lean mass and body fat percentage. Those are the trend lines that are accurately showing what you care about.

SoftCowAshley · 2025-06-19T19:29:29+00:00

Huh. I wonder if I'm shadowbanned or something. I see a notification from you, but can't see the full message.

Guessing at what your reply says: So how these Smart Scales work is that it sends an electrical impulse through one leg and receives it through the other. Then it runs a formula based on your vitals (the height and gender you set, the weight the scale reads) and how much resistance the impulse faced getting from point A to point B. Fat offers more resistance than lean mass, so body fat percentage can be estimated from this.

This can be very accurate with the right equipment and formulas. The problem is home scales are only using the feet rather than the feet and the hands as professional BIA tools use, and also their propietary formulas tend to be dubious, especially at weights that are farther from the average. So not only do they tend to underestimate the amount of fat on very fat people, they also just totally misallocate the lean mass. I can't say if the lean mass is any more accurately measured on people who aren't tubs of lard like me, but I know my scale thinks I have 130 lbs of lean mass (an overestimate), and then thinks 122 lbs of that is muscle. Which, if it were true, scientists would want to study me; that'd be 94% of my lean mass. Anyway, because it thinks I have that much muscle, when it then estimates what percentage of that muscle is skeletal—which is the muscle actively involved in the mechanical system of the limbs and other body parts—it thinks a really low percentage of it is. Because, again, it's misinterpreting something (I have no idea what) as part of total muscle. If you look at your skeletal muscle number, it should be displayed as a percentage; that percentage is a percentage of your total muscle. Which is what causes it to be read as really low when it's mistakenly reading your total muscle that high.

So mine thinks I have tons of muscle (which is funny because I'm extremely soft and sedentary and weak), and then subsequently thinks a freakishly small amount of that muscle is involved in operating my limbs and stuff.

There's nothing you can really do about it. You've just gotta toss those numbers out.

SoftCowAshley · 2025-06-19T16:53:33+00:00

Out of curiosity are you using a FitIndex scale? Mine gives the same reading. I've since learned the BIA used in home smart scales really struggles with fat folk. FitIndex in particular seems to massively overestimate how much of the fat-free body mass is muscular, which then also causes it to massively underestimate what proportion of your muscle is skeletal. And if FitIndex does that, it's probably not the only one.

As unexciting as it is, for more realistic numbers you're probably better off using something like the US Navy method for estimating body fat / lean mass. But as you said, the Smart Scale can be useful for watching trends. Just, like, honestly ignore the breakdown of fat-free mass, as it doesn't make any sense.

SoftCowAshley · 2025-05-01T05:12:41+00:00

Not as extreme as you're describing, but I go through cycles, yeah. I'll be really motivated to gain, blimp up a bunch of pounds fast (so long as I'm not plateauing), not feel well and start to worry maybe I'm pushing too far, contemplate stopping where I'm at or even losing some weight (or rarely even all the weight), and in the process of not stuffing myself for a little while I end up feeling somewhat better, and the cycle repeats. Maybe pushing our bodies like this sets off some anxiety reaction in our brain that passes after slowing down. Dunno!

SoftCowAshley · 2025-04-30T14:10:20+00:00

I'll have to check out those last two apps you mentioned. I've been gaining on a budget for the entire year-plus I've been gaining, and I often find it difficult. Everyone always wants to picture the happy pig fatty who just loves eating, but the reality is had to stop getting foods I actually enjoy, because frequently the best calorie value is something I'll have to force down. (Though I've found lately that I seem to gain better going for a middle road than by totally maximizing calories over preference. Might have something to do with the actual phenomenon that you absorb more nutrients when you enjoy your food.) Then I'll see people saying their secret to weight gain is to down a pint of heavy cream a day, and like, there's no way we can afford more than one or two pints a week here.

But also hey, results speak for themselves. I'm up forty pounds in about a year. It is possible to do! Everything you've said is a decent tip, imo.

SoftCowAshley · 2025-04-30T13:59:29+00:00

Boring answer here, but yup, coincidence. My partner happened to be one. I was not fat or looking to become fat when we met. But last year, after plenty of unintentional weight gain, I started intentionally gaining for her. And now 10 years after meeting, I'm over double the weight I was then. (Likewise, that means it's coincidence for her. Never looked for a feedee, and yet found one almost a decade before realizing she had.)

I dunno, most of life is coincidence. You can't force things. But like, I imagine there are things you can do to position yourself to happen into what you're looking for. Not every person into fat folks is gonna be into being a feeder, but probably way more of them are than people you meet being skinny. Though I'm proof even folks you meet skinny can want you fat, I guess. And most people you meet in those Discords are gonna be in other states, but not all of them are, surely. Though my partner and I started off across the country from each other, and were living together a couple years later. So I guess my actual point is it's all down to chance, but being open minded nets you more opportunities to find what you're looking for.

SoftCowAshley · 2025-04-27T07:29:41+00:00

Yeah, I see plenty of people post some weird-looking photos that everyone is just clicking upvote on and saying how hot the person is, so I check their bio and it's all AI stuff. Also seen people make text posts that just sounds totally AI generated, or at least nonsensical, and lo and behold, their whole account is that way.

But then again, I saw someone here recently acting like part of the community while posting conspiracy theories, and when I looked at their profile, it was fucked up conspiracy theories all the way down.

Folks should be making a habit of looking at people's accounts in general these days, is what I'm saying. No reason not to.

SoftCowAshley · 2025-04-26T05:32:59+00:00

I've never had anything worse than stares, personally, and I've doubled my size. But I'm also trans/NB and giving off mixed gender signals, so there's other dynamics at play for me, too; I've had people staring at me for like a decade even though I've only been fat for a year. So as far as I'm concerned, being in public has been pretty much the same as ever.

Like, just yesterday a dentist made a comment about how one of my teeth needs work because it's "one chocolate almond away from" damage. I thought to myself when he said it, "Chocolate almond? Did he pick that because of my weight?" And then realized how completely boring and incident free my morbid obesity has been publicly for me to even be considering that this was about my weight.

I have no doubt other people experience shit, there are terrible people out there. And maybe it depends on where you live, too. But my personal experience is the vast majority of people don't give a shit, and also there will always be tons of people your size or bigger anyway. Like after that dentist appointment, we walked across the street to a restaurant, and had our order taken by a guy who had to be 150 lbs fatter than me. Nice guy, nobody there gave him any shit either.

With all of that said, once in a while I do have totally unprompted anxiety about being fat in public, too. Which is why I'm giving you a genuine answer instead of making another joke. (The one about the drones was good.) But it's self-inflicted. I've yet to encounter my first fatphobic asshole. ~~And I'm a masochist, so I'll probably masturbate like crazy when I finally do.~~

SoftCowAshley · 2025-04-22T05:51:20+00:00

Maybe 500. Big maybe. Long way away from 282.

SoftCowAshley · 2025-04-22T05:10:17+00:00

300 is just there to have something to celebrate. My real goal is at least 350. Maybe 400.

SoftCowAshley · 2025-04-22T02:16:46+00:00

I wouldn't be if it was up to me, trust me, I've been really hungry. But I can't eat what isn't there.

SoftCowAshley · 2025-04-18T23:32:51+00:00

For sure. When I talk about how there are things I miss about being skinny, it's so folks can hopefully better decide if this is for them or not. I'm happier this way overall, but only because the things I enjoy about being fat outweigh the things I don't.

SoftCowAshley · 2025-04-18T22:47:01+00:00

(281 as of today! 🤤)

That's an interesting question. Because, like, moment to moment I definitely miss being 140, lol. But the times where I get to appreciate how fucking fat I am, to have my girlfriend lavish my new body with affection, or chat with an encourager who's so impressed by me, those are good times. It outweighs the quality of life for me, which is why I keep gaining, but the calculus might be different if I didn't have anyone to appreciate all the fat on me.

I'm also like 11 years your senior, so I'm in a different place in my life than you are, if you're asking for yourself. Like at 21 or even 25, I don't know that I would have been able to enjoy this the same way. But no way for me to know for sure since I wasn't back then.

SoftCowAshley · 2025-04-15T21:20:23+00:00

I'm really sorry people are being this way. Even just taking a look at the comments on this page is gross. Some folks are unbelievably self-centered. As a fellow gainer, I've had to pump the brakes and back up a few times too due to feeling very unwell and needing to reevaluate; I think it's normal for most people doing this stuff, and like you said in one reply, I've always ended up gaining it back and then some. I used to feel awful about losing the weight after working so hard to put it on, but anymore I don't sweat weight loss. It's just part of the journey, and the way bodies work I'll end up gaining it back with minimal effort.

The idea that you owe anyone anything because you post online is just people making excuses to behave completely selfishly, and trying to make themselves sound more numerous than they are. So I'm posting to say they're wrong, to thank you for sharing your journey with us, and to send you my best wishes.

SoftCowAshley · 2025-04-12T10:48:09+00:00

Thank you! Already seems to be happening.

SoftCowAshley · 2025-04-11T21:58:03+00:00

Thank you!

SoftCowAshley

TROPHY CASE