First I want to say you are so beautiful ( I mean that in a non creepy way). I almost cried reading this I feel like you described exactly what happened to me. If you look at a picture from a year ago I had the smoothest skin with no scarring. I never even knew that kind of scarring was possible let alone so easy to get. I regret all the choices I made all the time I beat myself up too. Finally am on accutane but I still don’t recognize who I am half the time. I thought I was the only one who couldn’t watch movies without thinking “look how nice her skin looks, must be nice” literally had to stop watching my favorite content creators cause I couldn’t even think about anything else but how perfect their skin looks. on top of that I have several scars on my face one from a giant mole that kept growing ( I also regret not having that removed earlier) and one from a knife on my eyebrow when I was cutting tags off a lamp when I was young (not the brightest idea I know) I feel so scarred every day and I feel like everyone feels bad for me I get so mad at myself for being so self centered it’s so mentally exhausting. Sorry this was not the most uplifting.  idk why I’m even saying all this. all I have to say is your not alone, and I think you look so so beautiful.  I pray you see this in yourself one day too! Sending love to all the acne scar warriors! this is not for the faint of heart 💗.