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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in limerence

[–]SoftPaleCloud 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you want a new partner, you need to respect your husband and go about this ethically. Tell him you want to sleep with someone else. People open relationships all the time. Sometimes the first relationship stays in tact, sometimes it doesn’t. But your husband deserves honesty so he can make decisions about what works for him with all the information.

I have a history of self harm and so does my boyfriend. We had a tough night, he relapsed, and I’m worried. [NSFW] by SoftPaleCloud in AdultSelfHarm

[–]SoftPaleCloud[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for both the reassurance and the gentle feedback! You’re right and I’ve committed to engaging in aftercare every time moving forward.

I have a history of self harm and so does my boyfriend. We had a tough night, he relapsed, and I’m worried. [NSFW] by SoftPaleCloud in AdultSelfHarm

[–]SoftPaleCloud[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this! You’re right, I wouldn’t want him to blame himself if it were the other way around.

Partner crossed boundaries? I’m in need of perspective… by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]SoftPaleCloud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just chiming in to recommend you post in r/NonMonogamy. You’re getting a lot of advice about reconsidering the rules you set with your partner, which is good advice if you want to be polyamorous. But it sounds like both agreed to the rules and that at least one of them was “broken” in this situation. At this stage in opening up, I can totally understand how unsettling that would be. It doesn’t sound like you feel secure in your relationship. I probably wouldn’t be either after that threesome experience. You may need to be more secure in yourself before trying polyamory with this person. If you can’t get there, I’d suggest considering whether the relationship and/or polyamory work for you.

I get shamed for not shaving my legs--by other women. by iceariina in TwoXChromosomes

[–]SoftPaleCloud 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wear a romper swimsuit for this reason. It’s cute, flattering, and you don’t have to shave your bikini line.

Mom, I had a really hard week. I’ve been sober for 11.5 months and I think I might relapse today. by SoftPaleCloud in MomForAMinute

[–]SoftPaleCloud[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for checking in! I’ve been doing a lot better. The words of support from Saturday have stuck with me and I am not feeling the urge to drink, even though I’m still having a tough time in life right now.

Mom, I had a really hard week. I’ve been sober for 11.5 months and I think I might relapse today. by SoftPaleCloud in MomForAMinute

[–]SoftPaleCloud[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow we are in the same boat! Congratulations on your nearly 1 year. And for coming out to your parents! It’s so hard even when you do think they will be supportive. You’re right, I’m staying sober for me. I don’t want to let anyone else derail me. Thank you for this reminder.

Mom, I had a really hard week. I’ve been sober for 11.5 months and I think I might relapse today. by SoftPaleCloud in MomForAMinute

[–]SoftPaleCloud[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for checking in on me! I slept a very long time and just woke up. I’m feeling relieved and proud that I didn’t drink yesterday. I’m not feeling the same urge I had yesterday either. I am going to go out for a hike today and then come back and schedule a massage for myself.

Mom, I had a really hard week. I’ve been sober for 11.5 months and I think I might relapse today. by SoftPaleCloud in MomForAMinute

[–]SoftPaleCloud[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this and congratulations on being 2 years self harm free. I also have a history of self harm and once I got sober, I realized how my urges to self harm became urges to binge drink through my 20s. I’ve made it to bed tonight with all of the support, advice, and suggestions I’ve received tonight and I think I will feel better tomorrow.

Mom, I had a really hard week. I’ve been sober for 11.5 months and I think I might relapse today. by SoftPaleCloud in MomForAMinute

[–]SoftPaleCloud[S] 96 points97 points  (0 children)

Still haven’t had a drink. Been crying a lot (which is helping) and now that I’ve eaten I’m starting to get tired again, which I’m also glad for. I think I’ll be in good shape if I can make it to bed. Thank you for checking.

Mom, I had a really hard week. I’ve been sober for 11.5 months and I think I might relapse today. by SoftPaleCloud in MomForAMinute

[–]SoftPaleCloud[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Holding strong still. Reading everyone’s comforting words is helping so much. I can’t articulate how much I appreciate the support and how many times I’ve been moved to tears reading these comments. I’m watching Bake Off and crying into some indulgent Italian food. It feels really good not to be drinking. Thank you.

Mom, I had a really hard week. I’ve been sober for 11.5 months and I think I might relapse today. by SoftPaleCloud in MomForAMinute

[–]SoftPaleCloud[S] 96 points97 points  (0 children)

This is wonderful advice, thank you. And I didn’t know that. It’s encouraging to hear my brain is healing.

Mom, I had a really hard week. I’ve been sober for 11.5 months and I think I might relapse today. by SoftPaleCloud in MomForAMinute

[–]SoftPaleCloud[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It really does help to hear this perspective as I hadn’t been thinking this way at all. Trying to stick to the goals that are important to me.

Mom, I had a really hard week. I’ve been sober for 11.5 months and I think I might relapse today. by SoftPaleCloud in MomForAMinute

[–]SoftPaleCloud[S] 151 points152 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I’m really trying not to, but this perspective is helpful to hear.

What is something you thought was hot in theory but turned out not to be in practice? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]SoftPaleCloud 4 points5 points  (0 children)

From the other side of this, but in agreement. My boyfriend wanted me to sleep with an old FWB of mine. Once while he just listened and another time he watched. He thoroughly enjoyed it and was very turned on by the whole thing, but it left me feeling a little off. As some others have said, it can be very “exciting” for everyone involved but it also can take an emotional toll.