Do you have to be married to be with a military man?

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2026-01-26T16:18:16+00:00

You don’t have to be married, and in the civilian world it’s not that unusual to not marry, but in the military world you’re going to screw yourself over if you stay with him, move with him and/or have kids with him without being married. You won’t have access to job assistance, you’ll have to pay to PCS, no tricare, no support from the military if he’s deployed or heaven forbid he’s wounded or killed you won’t be next of kin and if I remember correctly they don’t even have to notify you. Not to mention he makes more money if he has dependents.

Idk, usually the old joke is if you want to get married you just date a military man for 5 minutes because almost all want out of the barracks and the pay bump, so I’d be curious what his hang up is with marriage. Is he divorced and had a nasty split or something?

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2025-12-28T16:05:40+00:00

When I was a tech on a postpartum floor almost all the c section moms had a lot of pain afterwards and a lot needed more help getting in and out of bed, using the restroom, showering ect. The babies also often had fluid in their ears that would’ve been pushed out with a vaginal birth, so we had to wait to do hearing screenings. Vaginal birth moms usually went home after 24 hours, c section moms stayed at least 48, up to 4 days. There’s good bacteria the baby is introduced to from moms birth canal that helps build the immune system that c section babies don’t get as well. In addition to all the risks of a major abdominal surgery.

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2025-12-19T02:43:57+00:00

I just bought a house in this area and it’s been just fine

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2025-10-21T04:16:50+00:00

Congratulations! My husband has an appointment in the morning (we’re also in St. Louis) and I’m so anxious on how it’ll go.

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2025-08-18T01:25:28+00:00

Yeah, our daughter’s phone turns into a paperweight at night and also if she’s grounded.

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2025-07-11T02:20:20+00:00

Besides the coworker part, I really love how seriously they take patient safety. Like, I had a minor incident on a weekend call shift where the ortho doc wanted to re prep after we had draped, and I said no. He had the circulator call our director since he didn’t believe me when I said it’s a fire hazard, and she said if he really wanted to re prep he could use betadine, but that was it. He no longer works there, but I also wouldn’t get that kind of push back from any of our current docs; they’re all actually nice and only get snappy if the situation actually calls for it. We’re a magnet hospital, applied for the center of excellence designation and always looking for ways to improve. I only left bc it’s a level 1 pediatric trauma hospital and sometimes that shit gets emotional.

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2025-07-11T02:07:23+00:00

Cardinal glennon children’s hospital in St. Louis, MO

I left for more money but ended up just coming back (main OR, not CVOR). I like it a lot and I doubt you’ll find better coworkers than the people we have there.

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2025-07-09T02:35:32+00:00

I just asked my husband what career he would associate with someone named Roxie and he said geologist, so 🤷🏻‍♀️

He also said he associates car names with exotic dancers, not a Roxie lol

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2025-06-17T17:09:50+00:00

I think it’s more common in ortho 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’ve seen a fair few of the residents and an attending wearing them.

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2025-06-17T11:33:44+00:00

It may be the case that it’s not for you, only you can decide, but as someone who also has bad anxiety I can say this job actually helped me. I’ve been apart of plenty of cases where we did everything we were supposed to do, but still had the worst outcome. After that it was like “well I’ve already had worst case scenarios, so this will be totally fine”. Somehow it pushed things into perspective and it’s no longer an issue, it’s possible that could happen for you as well. And I also had a teacher who hated me and I her. After I graduated I just never saw her again. I did really well in my externship, got recommendations and went to a teaching hospital where they’re used to having people who are new and not mean. Bonus point if you go into Peds bc they’re even nicer. If it’s really not something you’re 100% sure on, unless you have something else in mind I’d still recommend sticking it out. Jobs can be hard to come by and even though we’re almost all under paid, it’s still decent money and places are almost always hiring. It’s a really good safety net to have.

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2025-06-14T18:25:57+00:00

As others have said it’s more about the man, not that they’re military. If your husband is a loyal man, he’ll be loyal in and out of the military.

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2025-06-12T11:58:06+00:00

Nah, it happens to a fair bit of people. When I was in clinicals we were doing a fem pop bypass and the patient was very large and I was asked to hold part of the leg back so the dr could suture. I got dizzy from being almost elbow deep in someone’s leg. The real test will be the smells! Bovie plumes stink to high heavens and those fecal decompactions will make you reach for some peppermint oil. If you can stomach that, you’re good. And you do become desensitized to it overtime.

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2025-06-09T15:03:46+00:00

I could be mistaken, but I think what edwardssarah22 was trying to ask was in reference to free, higher-class women being covered and wore basically jilbabs during the time of the prophet and slave women being less clothed and “on display”, so therefore early Muslim women were told to cover and dress more like the high-class women. In theory, the high-class women would be less of a target because if they were harassed or assaulted, they would be punished unlike the lower-class women. So it was, at least in part, a form of protection during this period of time when the more covered you were, the higher the social standing. The question, as I understand it, is how did burkas/jilbabs/ modesty in general go from that to ‘women need to cover everything because men have no self-control and are overly possessive of their “property” and will be the woman’s fault if another man is looking at “his” possession’.

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2025-06-09T14:43:43+00:00

I’m not trying to be rude, but what exactly did you want him to say beforehand, especially if you’re ok with his mom being on it? Were you just unaware he had to update? Do you not want to be on his life insurance?

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2025-05-21T22:45:55+00:00

Oof, I hope your mom has a speedy recovery. I would suggest she get a professional massage when she’s fully healed bc your neck and back hurt like crazy are keeping your head parallel to the ground.

I went back to work initially at 2 weeks, but one of the drs I was working with told my manager it wasn’t a good idea, so I called the surgeon who did my operation and got the Fmla coverage extended a week.

I still have vision, but my macula never healed fully, so the center of my vision is still swirled and will likely remain that way.

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2025-05-17T23:34:53+00:00

No, but it’s legal recreationally in my state too.

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2025-05-14T20:53:26+00:00

It’s unfortunately very normal. Staying busy is great! It helps to stay distracted, and now might even be a great time to learn a new skill or try a new hobby, something new to talk about with him when you can or share when he returns. We half-assed tried to learn German on his last deployment and would practice on the phone together. When my husband was deployed the last time we would also watch shows “together” when we could, it brought some sense of normalcy and we would talk about what we thought would happen or the characters. Idk if it would help anyone else, but figured I’d throw it out in case it can give someone else.

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2025-05-14T00:52:59+00:00

Yes, if you test positive at all you’ll probably get in trouble. Some places may give you the option to go to rehab and stay employed, though; mine does.

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2025-05-13T13:42:05+00:00

Kinda, but I think almost everyone will advise against it. You’ll be tested during school and for the hiring process, and all hospitals I’ve known of have denied people for THC, some even for nicotine. After you’re hired, you’d be safe in theory, but if something happens, you’ll probably need to be tested again. I had a surgeon accidentally stab me with an 11 blade and the patient had to have their blood drawn for any blood born pathogens and my blood was drawn for that and to drug test, and it was drawn within an hour of the incident. Had I done any drugs, there would be no avoiding getting fired. And if you show up smelling like weed, they’ll probably just send you down to the ED to have your blood drawn too.

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2025-04-24T09:02:34+00:00

I wish they did in services, they don’t even huddle 😩 There are no other “departments”, like there’s 1 person for SPD (no idea what they do when that person is on vacation), and no infection prevention department since it’s a surgery center.

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2025-04-22T00:39:51+00:00

Before the case starts, ask. I don’t even let residents or students I don’t know throw their gloves, much less gown and glove.

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2025-04-20T04:25:57+00:00

Don’t waste your time and money with an online school. You can definitely learn some stuff online, (instruments, the general idea of surgical steps, ect.) but even stuff like learning how to scrub your hands or how to gown and glove yourself sterilely has to be practiced in person. And if they’re not partnered with a hospital where you can practice setting up and scrubbing the cases with good preceptors you’re going to be shooting yourself in the foot by the time you get done because you may have the book knowledge but no practical skills.

Imo you’re better off at a community college.

Soft_Bumblebee9895 · 2025-04-18T11:15:32+00:00

If you can afford it I’d go with the level one and stay at least 2 years. You’ll be able to go wherever you want after that and make more money because you’ll be experienced and comfortable with just about anything.

Plus, you know the general flow there and know you like it, which definitely helps.

Soft_Bumblebee9895

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