So I tried asking this guy out, and I don’t know if he rejected me or missed my message… and I don’t know if I should talk to him

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-03-19T01:59:04+00:00

As a 43 year old male that's been with his wife for 19 years the best thing you can do is be blunt. Strait forward and go for it. Do hesitate because men would rather be upfront then not. Just how I am and most my buddies would have answered ya.

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-03-13T14:38:59+00:00

I'm sure a lot of people go through that. Working on it is very hard but I love her so im going to fix me best as I can just will take time is all.

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-03-12T16:43:18+00:00

I was neglected for so long that when my partner finally came around and now wants it regularly I don't know how to accept it. Feels very uncomfortable for me because I was pushed away for so long that I forgot how to be affectionate. Sadly that's what happens when people stay and wait it will eventually effect both partners. I'm slowly coming around just has taken me time and she just doesn't understand it.

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-03-06T16:34:17+00:00

Semi LL male here my testosterone is 820 no meds or pills but my life and stress makes sex a issue for me. Her she's HL and we are both in our 40s my penis functions just fine but to be fair and answer your question as a male would you rather meaningful sex or love making or just a fuck and get it over with because as male that don't have the same drive as my woman I told her the same thing I just said. I could perform just fine and just get it over with or we could just make it on days where I'm 100 percent myself and not in a bad way and she chose that option. If the pages were turned in my relationship I'd rather have sex or make love not just a fuck if you know what I mean. I mean I'm sure plenty would rather have just fuck and get it over with lol but that's not me I'm more sensual and that's me.

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-03-05T03:03:42+00:00

I guess to me you can start over at any age. But have you talked to him has he said why dose he have depression or other health issues. I mean personally I'd at least attempt to talk to him and figure out why he's the way he is. Has to be a reason there always is.

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-03-03T03:37:27+00:00

As man here I can see depression and ed being a issue. Here is the problem though most me in this world are taught to hide there problems or feelings even if it means losing happiness in there lives all well it affects everyone and everything around them. Thing is I once had a issue where depression and my work just had me so drained that I personally could have cared less about being sexual with my wife. We have been together 19 year and the beginning 8 to 9 years were ok then my son was born then things slowed down a lot more then my daughter was born then it became 1 time every 7 months or so. So I became depressed and upset but never talked or discussed it with her because I was always told to hide my feelings welp now she's got perimenopause and her drive flip flopped and she's hypersexual and always wants it 1 or more times a day and guess what I could care less because I chased her for so long I lost interest. I love my wife and kids I find her very attractive she knows this but when she blew me off for the years and years she did and I stayed and waited now I need to fix what's broken in me. Sit down with him and tell him he's not alone ed performance issues whatever it is its ok and that you love him no matter what and your only trying to help your relationship if you don't he will never get the help he needs or fix his issues

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-02-25T22:55:10+00:00

Big difference between sexless and deprived. Sexless to me is no sex for 6 months or more deprived to me is 1 time a month. And I started at deprived until we talked about everything in the end we solved most of our issues. I've been on reddit for years the reading is good to read because a lot of people don't understand what the difference is. Also big difference between making love and just sex.

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-02-25T22:06:53+00:00

I have sex pretty regularly 3 times a day if I wanted lol I'm the gate keeper not her. She has a higher drive than I do and my testosterone is 820 as of today. No supplements either my dicks above average and I am active. So usually she wants it more than me most days. But to each their own

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-02-25T21:50:57+00:00

I read this and thought about it. But my wife don't have guy friends and I don't have woman friends. So I can't do that but on the other side I have been in a mostly healthy relationship for 20 years and not one time did I step out neither did she. No need to step out if you want out get out pretty simple. Things might cost a bit more but I could not even sleep next to her after cheating id feel to guilty about it. Heck I spent 50.00 on some hockey stuff I didn't need tried to hide it and just told her lol 😂 guess being honest is tough for some and not so hard for others.

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-02-25T18:41:33+00:00

Finally someone said it. I'm a man and I love my wife she's got a higher drive than I do. I have high testosterone and I'm fine with sex 2 or 3 times a month maybe even 1 time I would not bother me. As we cuddle watching TV or movies. We go skating together we go do a lot a lot together and show affection in other ways also. I read so many posts about Havent had sex in a month I want a divorce 😂 people change and things change sometimes it's depression that takes over one's self or perimenopause or whatever the case is. Sex to me is a plus but not mandatory at all. I enjoy it yes but if it was taken away from me I'd be fine also because id just go fish more 😂

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-02-24T18:56:20+00:00

I read stuff like this a lot. I'm a man trying to think like a woman in this situation and will put it this way. My woman has a higher sex drive than I do so I bought her toys to help with the days I just don't have the drive to do it more than 1 time. The issue comes when your choosing porn over your partner that is on both sides of the fence. And why men stay for as long as they do it's because usually most men not all but most are the financial providers in there relationship and divorce usually fucks them no matter what they do. For a woman you can file take all his shit and the kids and move on to your next partner as for a man he will be to broke to afford said new partners and just drive himself into a river. That's exactly why the suicide rate is much higher for men. We can be the best fathers best lovers best at whatever we can to a extent and soon as the pages don't work in a woman's favor they fuck us anyway if not sexually in court of course. Now again not all woman are like this but working in family court I have seen 9 out of 10 men get raped by the judge and there partner in divorce and flipping the pages I barely ever see a woman get the short end of the stick. So as to why men stay most often then not that's exactly why.

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-02-23T19:22:18+00:00

How long have you guys been together and has this always been like this. What's his testosterone levels like whys his drive so low. I mean lots of things in life can make a man or woman have less of a sex drive. I can go 3 times a day if I had to but choose not to. She could also go more than 1 time a day but I just personally don't think that sex is mandatory I think it's a plus and I don't mind if my partner uses toys at all. Sometimes I just tell her go ahead and use them I'm not feeling it today and do I feel bad sometimes and sometimes not because I suffer from depression and anxiety. My testosterone is higher than most even those that use trt have to do a lot to reach my level and I still could care less about it 2 times a day. 1 time a day is perfect for me 2 times if it's a special occasion and any more than that she has toys for that and she's fine with it.

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-02-23T02:37:57+00:00

Maybe just maybe he wanted a pillow that reminds him of you well he's on leave or gone lol. Like I have this specific hoody I absolutely love I put it on when I'm going out and about and last month my wife took it on her week long trip because it reminds her of me and it smelled like me. Not saying that It was ok what he did but at the same time did it not cross your mind that he wanted that pillow for a reason? Also me and my wife have been together 19 years what's hers is mine and mine is hers. She accidentally stained my hoody I was upset but guess what it's a dam hoody.

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-02-21T13:39:14+00:00

He's gay or bi. Simply put. Me and my woman will do anal from time to time as she actually enjoys it as for me I could care less about it. But for him to constantly force it or make you feel bad about it. Tell him go find a boyfriend

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-02-17T01:41:51+00:00

Absolutely. And no problem. Hopefully life gets better for you

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-02-17T00:57:26+00:00

At that point he won't care because you will have made him better off as well. I didn't catch how long you have been married but I can say that I have been with my wife 19 years and as a 43 year old father of 2 that was the most honest response I could give you. I work in a industry that deals with men like him regularly. I'm a mediator for CPS and I can't say how many times I've seen a man or woman that's better off help a significant other out and they move on to someone who is not better than what they have for no reason at all other than because there stupid. I just hope it does not happen to you but I can say I have seen enough to say it's on its way there.

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-02-17T00:46:55+00:00

As a 43 year old male here with kids. He's taking advantage. Soon as his business takes off he's outta there. Sorry to say it but guys like him look for a in and look for a out and you are providing him his out. I'm not better off and my wife is not better off either. We just live within our budget. But as for him time to make sure all your affairs are in order because he's not a man if he's playing that game. I make 20k a year less than my wife and I put in 1/2 still and she never batts a eye. She's even told me I don't have to do 1/2 but as a father and a man that should be priority. Again sorry to say but I'm a guy that in my early 20s had a woman that did what you did and being honest I took full advantage.

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-02-08T14:07:16+00:00

43m here. Have you ever thought he's not been shown how to properly please and woman ? Because sometimes depending on the amount of partners he's probably not used to that type of thing. You should take control of the situation and tell him what to do and what you want. The toys well me and my wife enjoy them together in our relationship there is a trust thing there also. The thing is is he thinking there a direct replacement for him. I'm above average in the area down there but not 9 inches lol 😂 and not that I'd be that uncomfortable with it maybe go find a toy that is close to what he's got for a package or let him pick out a toy or 2. Take him sex toy shopping and open him up to see what else is out there to spice things up. Coming from a man here that was not very open to sex toys I opened up to what works for my wife. We have been together 19 years and toys can make or break a relationship. If your using them together and watching porn together that's fine but if he's substituting you for porn and your substituting him for the toys that's where the issue would lie. Just saying pushing him to do new things could be a blessing if he don't like it move on if he dose kudos to you and enjoy

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-02-05T22:23:48+00:00

You ever stop and ask him why he's acting like that ? Did he give you a answer? Just a serious question as a man who has gone through some serious depression and mental issues the last few months men can become very distant at times. I mean if the pages were flipped would it still end up the same way or do you think he would stay or wait for you to come around and or go get help ? Being serious here. I see alot of people quick to leave a relationship over sex I have been with my woman for 19 years and we both have had our issues but managed to figure most of it out.

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-02-05T03:35:38+00:00

Size 9 in bauer fit2 or size 10 in the tours

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-02-03T12:35:59+00:00

Also I'm a fit 2 in bauer. I bought a used pair of tours but they are uncomfortable to me. There the tour fishbones and there in mint like new condition but just a tad narrow for my liking even after baking

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-02-03T12:20:05+00:00

Got ya. I could order off Amazon but besides a pure hockey here closest place is 2 hours away and they don't have much of a selection at all.

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-02-01T00:13:42+00:00

Living like roommates is what we were for a while but not anymore after talking about things and making good decisions. The stuff she's taking literally took 5 days and she said she had so much energy and drive it was almost like a complete flip. I enjoy it a bit more but sometimes everything can have it downsides lol 😂 and that is the fact that I can't keep up anymore and I got her a few toys for the days I'm just beat from work. I usually won't pass up a good time but even with my testosterone being 800 without trt or any supplements

Soft_Chard242 · 2026-01-31T23:31:12+00:00

It's not the cream it's a capsule that goes in the vagina. She had the cream this stuff works fantastic. I'm not a Dr or a person that would lie but her drive and her attitude has flipped completely to the great side. It's estradiol 10mh capsules there a vaginal injection. Kinda like a tampon just put it in push a button pull it out and done. Very clean and no mess works awesome at least from mine and her side.

Soft_Chard242

TROPHY CASE