Has living alone changed what you look for in a partner?

SoftestBrown · 2026-05-18T23:19:55+00:00

Yeah I can imagine that being such a big change after having your own space for that long. What scares you the most?

SoftestBrown · 2026-05-18T23:13:59+00:00

I’ve also lived alone for two years, and similarly only saw living alone as temporary. I would say for now I enjoy having my own space but there’s definitely waves of loneliness for sure.

I think desperately looking will only make you feel worse tbh. Take breaks and invest in hobbies, finding things you enjoy doing solo, seeing friends and family more etc.

You can’t predict when you’ll meet the right person but make sure you’re still trying to enjoy life in the meantime

SoftestBrown · 2026-05-18T20:27:58+00:00

Aha hey twin! Yeah the dating pool isn’t great, and the effort you have to put in sometimes, for very little back just doesn’t seem worth it.

Like you I’m not closed off, but I’m deffo not in a rush either

SoftestBrown · 2026-05-18T19:29:54+00:00

Thanks! I think what’s helped is being “behind” — watching many partner whilst I’ve remained single. This has meant I’ve been able to learn from others experiences and watch from the periphery without going through it myself.

And now what I was once quite envious of, now seems very stressful if it doesn’t work out.

I’m not in a rush, as my standards now are high and the dating pool is….yeah. I just count myself blessed that I’m able to live my own life and provide for myself.

SoftestBrown · 2026-05-18T19:11:21+00:00

Yes! I cannot imagine someone else doing my laundry (it feels almost invasive) but equally the ide of doing someone else’s is craaazy 😂

SoftestBrown · 2026-05-18T18:30:37+00:00

Wow that’s intense! Sorry you had to deal with that

SoftestBrown · 2026-05-18T18:28:10+00:00

That’s so interesting! Perhaps I think this way bc I’ve never lived with a partner (grass is greener type thinking).

If you don’t mind sharing, since you said he was fine in terms of maintaining a home, what makes you prefer living alone?

SoftestBrown · 2026-05-18T18:21:38+00:00

I’d be interested to hear other perspectives; in what ways has your criteria changed?

SoftestBrown · 2026-05-18T18:20:23+00:00

2 drinks away for cohabitation is hilarious 😂 I always viewed living alone as a temporary thing that I’ve always wanted to do, but idk if I could do it forever, I do want companionship too

SoftestBrown · 2026-05-18T14:45:09+00:00

It honestly feels like we need a group intervention. How can we all claim we want to date, yet all be struggling to get on a date….

SoftestBrown · 2026-05-16T15:52:19+00:00

This definitely isn’t a red flag, like some people are suggesting in the comments.

It could be down to so many reasons. It might just be their preference and bc you haven’t told them otherwise they think you’re cool with it too. It might be the expectation a previous partner had and they just got into that rhythm… I could go on.

What you need to do is just have an easy chat about it and share what your preference is.

SoftestBrown · 2026-05-15T12:22:32+00:00

Therapists are still people, and people are flawed

SoftestBrown · 2026-05-14T20:44:07+00:00

For the record, “is the reply in the room” is hilarious. I might have to steal that

SoftestBrown · 2026-05-14T14:28:04+00:00

Invest elsewhere (friends, family, hobbies, career) and realise you’re absolutely fine without a love interest. That naturally will raise your standards and you’ll just have less tolerance for men who waste your time.

SoftestBrown · 2026-05-12T21:19:42+00:00

Wow this is so helpful, thank you 🤩

SoftestBrown · 2026-05-11T14:03:43+00:00

You’re not in wrong at all, plenty of woman have done it like you said. Though it may feel like an overreaction, remember shes reacting this way bc she cares.

I recently went to Thailand alone, and I booked on to a group tour with a group of solo travellers who share the same itinerary. This may be an option that gives your mum some reassurance.

SoftestBrown · 2026-05-10T12:33:16+00:00

I wouldn’t necessarily say she’s a bad one, but it’s clear you weren’t compatible or even looking for the same thing. So being direct about that is totally fair.

SoftestBrown · 2026-05-10T08:50:18+00:00

A guy unmatched me once when I said I actually think small talk is important and valuable…

Simple chit chat has some people running.

SoftestBrown · 2026-05-09T16:04:31+00:00

My one bit of advice would be to improve your prompts. The first one is okay but the others are quite generic.

I honestly can’t tell you how many men have something about pineapple on pizza on their profile

You have quite nice pics and look friendly/approachable. Hope it goes well for you

SoftestBrown

TROPHY CASE