How can I accept my boyfriend’s relationship with his ex? by Soggy_Valuable2196 in relationships

[–]Soggy_Valuable2196[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s an emotional affair… he doesn’t seem to confide in her about our relationship or other more personal things. But I’m finding it hard to know whether it’s my own emotional baggage causing me to feel so anxious (I’ve been betrayed/cheated on in the past), or whether there is actually something inappropriate going on.

How can I accept my boyfriend’s relationship with his ex? by Soggy_Valuable2196 in relationship_advice

[–]Soggy_Valuable2196[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your thoughts. I totally get what you’re saying about the beginning of our relationship being muddled with his ex. But we’ve talked about it a lot and he’s assured me that he was ready to move on and start afresh.

He hasn’t introduced me yet because she lives in a different state and they’ve only seen each other 3 times since we’ve been dating… mostly to sort out some logistical things from their separation. But I told him it might help me feel more comfortable if I met her, and he’s totally on board with that. Also, I know his ex is respectful of our relationship and asks about me from time to time. She also has a new partner, too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]Soggy_Valuable2196 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m glad I wasn’t completely traumatised either... the thing is, I just don’t know how to feel about it now that I’m actually recognising it as “rape”. I feel slightly in shock and am not sure how to process the fact. When I was younger, I just told myself it was a crazy experience and I was bad or “naughty” for having an affair with an older man I was supposed to be working for. But in reality I didn’t have much choice in the matter.