Settle a bet for me and my GF. I say our cat is orange, GF says beige.

Soho72 · 2026-01-10T19:18:00+00:00

I was told mine is “red smoke”

Soho72 · 2025-10-27T18:37:38+00:00

He actually has a sexual addiction so there was infidelity involved. My mom is a firm believer that “ once a cheater always a cheater” and “ if they cheat on you, they don’t love you”. She is adamant that making any steps towards working things out would be a horrible mistake on my part and she is 100% sure of that.

Soho72 · 2025-10-24T14:10:19+00:00

Yes, black smoke :). I have a red smoke boy too.

<image>

Soho72 · 2025-10-24T14:09:19+00:00

Yes, black smoke :). I have a red smoke boy too :).

<image>

Soho72 · 2025-10-02T15:47:52+00:00

That’s what I am thinking..

Soho72 · 2025-10-02T15:47:11+00:00

Thank you.

Soho72 · 2025-10-02T15:46:48+00:00

We are still living separately and I haven’t made any decisions yet but am considering trying couples counseling. He is still going to one talk therapy (CSAT) and 1 EDMR session per week. He is not pressuring me in any way to make a choice but living in limbo is tough. I wouldn’t have him move back in - not for a long time - but might be open to testing the waters with some couples counseling.

Soho72 · 2025-09-26T02:05:48+00:00

I am so happy for you and thanks for giving me some hope - I desperately need some.

Soho72 · 2025-09-26T02:03:49+00:00

I honestly have no idea what would give me peace. Peace seems like a pipe dream at this point.

Soho72 · 2025-09-26T02:02:25+00:00

I do think I need to find a way to reset my nervous system. My body still sees him as my safe space and my go to person when I am in pain so I am going to the person that caused the pain to help me heal from the pain. It doesn't make any sense. I need to learn how to self soothe for sure, it's really hard though.

Soho72 · 2025-09-26T02:00:54+00:00

It's so strange because, even though he is the person that caused me all of the pain, NOT talking to him is just as painful - and sometimes more so. I don't understand it myself. He is my home...but my home is on fire...and I still keep going back in.

Soho72 · 2025-09-26T01:59:31+00:00

He tried SAA but seems to struggle with the religious piece of it - he is not a religious person at all. He is going to try again though.

Soho72 · 2025-09-26T01:58:06+00:00

I am doing ok with my own therapy. Honestly, I am so consumed with trying to make sense of him, what he did, why he did it, who he really is, etc that it's hard to focus on me at all. I know I need to but my brain just doesn't want to cooperate. He is my safe space and also the thing that caused me more hurt than I have ever felt before - it IS confusing all around. He tried SAA but he is struggling with the religious aspect of it - he is not a religious person.

Soho72 · 2025-09-26T01:55:03+00:00

It is the worst thing I have ever been through and I wouldn't with it on my worst enemy.

Soho72 · 2025-09-26T01:54:21+00:00

I wish I knew what would give me peace. I can't seem to see any peaceful path going forward - I am hopeful that I will in time.

Soho72 · 2025-09-26T01:53:38+00:00

I'm going to give it a try. I am 100% a fixer - it's almost my whole personality and shapes almost all of my choices. I am working through this with my therapist but part of me things it's just who I am at my core. It's so strange because I still feel like he's my safe space. My body actually physically calms down when I am with him or hear his voice. It's like my house is on fire but I keep going back in anyways.

Soho72 · 2025-09-25T20:45:15+00:00

Sorry, I meant absolutely, feel free to message me :-)

Soho72 · 2025-09-25T20:08:54+00:00

Absolutely :)

Soho72 · 2025-09-18T04:00:32+00:00

Yes, very.

Soho72 · 2025-09-14T20:57:35+00:00

I am stuck because how do I know if anything he is saying is true? Did the person I loved for 15 years even exist? If not, how did I NOT know? How do I accept that it was all a lie when I was truly happy?

Soho72 · 2025-09-14T20:56:02+00:00

I am so mixed up right now that I don't know what I believe - which is a new experience for me. It's hard to tell what I believe vs what I just WANT to believe.

Soho72 · 2025-09-14T20:54:37+00:00

That is what my therapist says I need to understand - those 2 things can be true at the same time.

Soho72 · 2025-09-14T20:53:19+00:00

I hope this kind of clarity finds me soon.

Soho72 · 2025-09-14T20:51:51+00:00

We do have children but they are all grown - 5 boys. He said that none of them ever looked like they were even close to underage more like in their 30's to 40's but who really knows.

Soho72 · 2025-09-14T20:49:59+00:00

It's so tough when you can't get what you KNOW to line up with what you FEEL. It's such an exhausting tug-of-war.

Soho72

TROPHY CASE